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Original poster

Absolutely Desperate

32 replies

malachismum · 01/07/2005 08:18

My nearly 1 year old son will not eat. Now I know Babies rarely starve themselves to death but honestly he eats so little, 2 mouthfuls of breakfast same for lunch and dinner. He has 3 9oz bottles a day and im terrified of cutting them back beause of the vits he will be missing, although Ive started using Abidec. He will not let anyone feed him, he has to do it himself with a fork, if I put food on the fork for him he takes it off and spends ages trying to put it back on himself. I am beingnagged by mother in law and my mother and am constantly in tears, which I know doesnt help. I am making 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches and 3 dinners in the hope that he will fancy one of them. Please help.

OP posts:
MrsGordonRamsay · 01/07/2005 08:25

Keep this bumped someone will be along soon.

But the first thing I will say, is stop keeping your DM and MIL informed, I bet they are just making the situation worse.

He sounds like a very determined little man.

Only offer one choice at meal times and if he doesn't eat at one he will eat at the next one.

A HV once told me that no child will ever starve itself to death.

Are there any distractions in the room, like TV ??

God I had more of an opinion on this than I thought, sorry if I sound bossy.

LGJ

littlerach · 01/07/2005 08:26

What about finger food?
This is often easier for them to pick up.

It is a worry, but you're right that they don't starve themselves.

If he is still gaining weight then you know he is ok, no matter how frustrating it is for you.

WigWamBam · 01/07/2005 08:28

Is he otherwise happy, healthy and a good weight? Because if so, the first thing you need to do is stop worrying, and stop making three meals at a time.

Babies don't starve themselves; if he is hungry, and being given the chance to eat, then he will eat. It sounds to me as if you are putting far too much pressure on both yourself and him - relax, and try not to worry about how long it takes him to eat.

MrsGordonRamsay · 01/07/2005 08:29

Ooops, missed the bit in your post about being aware that Babies wont starve.

tortoiseshell · 01/07/2005 08:31

If you are worried about vitamins, there is something called Minadex (sp?) which has lots of vitamins in, and iron too which is something kids often miss out on. It's orange flavoured, and you can get it in Boots.

Just remember - it's a phase - things will get better!

saadia · 01/07/2005 08:34

mm, if his weight gain is fine then I'm afraid I will have to suggest (and I do know, having picky eaters of my own, that it might be scary) cutting back on the milk.

There is a little three year old at ds's nursery and he wasn't at all interested in food until his mum cut back on milk, and now he is eating more.

Depending on who you believe the recommended milk intake at age one is either 11/12oz, or 18-20oz (I go with the latter), but do include yogurts, custard and ice cream in that.

I know how worrying it is to think they might miss out on nutrients, but do try to stay relaxed as I'm sure they are affected if mealtimes are stressful.

Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 09:36

His weight is 22lbs so between 50th-75th centile and his height is on 99th, his feet are the size of a 2 year olds and he doesnt stop moving, climbs up on the sofas etc! I am going to cut his milk back to 18oz a day. Do you think it would be better to give him two 9 oz bottles at mid afternoon and bed and miss out the breakfast bottle or give three 6oz bottles?

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compo · 01/07/2005 09:38

At thks age my ds was having a 7oz bottle in the morning and a 7oz bottle in the evening. Have you tried giving him toast? My ds loves that and while he chomps on that I spoon in other things like soup, shepherds pie etc

Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 09:44

He will eat toast if hes in the mood! I try spooning things into his mouth when he is distracted and he either spits it out or takes it out of his mouth, he doesnt miss a trick, I cant even mix things up with yogurt anymore. My HV cant believe how independant he is. She said "it seems he would rather go without then be fed by someone".

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chipmonkey · 01/07/2005 09:54

malachismum, my ds1 was addicted to milk at age 2 and ate almost nothing. I had "taming toddlers" by Dr Christopher Green ( a super book!) and he suggested cutting the milk down to 1 pint a day. It really made a difference. Its hard because on the one hand you feel the milk is spoiling his appetite but on the other hand its the only nutrition he's getting. I would do as compo did and give one bottle in the morning, one in the evening and just solids during the day. To satisfy his thirst during the day give water and/or diluted juice. And politely tell your mum and MIL to butt out, they're not helping!

chipmonkey · 01/07/2005 09:56

Then give him a plate of finger foods, toast chopped fruit, pieces of cheese etc, Fingers were invented before forks!

chipmonkey · 01/07/2005 09:57

Sorry, should be a comma between toast and chopped fruit! chopped fruit is probably best untoasted!

Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 10:54

I have made fish cakes and beef burger and chicken balls, all with hidden veg. He does eat these with his fingers, its just that he suddenly stopped so thats when I tryed the fork and that worked and then suddenly stopped. thank you so much for the advice, I sound terribly pesamistic (sp) I know. I am going to cut back on his milk and not get stressed and make a big deal out of things, can you tell Im a first time mum?!

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Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 10:57

Must add that MIL said his brain wont develop if he doesnt eat properly and then did that hand action, you know circling her finger while pointing it to her head! Honestly is it any wonder Im a wreck.

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colditz · 01/07/2005 10:59

Don't listen to M'sIL, they are by definition trouble makers. Lie to her. Tell her he drinks broccilli juice for breakfast.

Twiglett · 01/07/2005 11:01

please don't worry

it should help that the average 2 year old eats 11 tablespoons of food a day .. 11 .. that isn't a whole lot .. measure it out for yourself .. and that is averaged over a week so some days less, some days maybe more .. also only 1 proper 'meal' every 48 hours

maybe your DS would like little and often .. a couple of bites here, a couple of bites there .. don't forget tiny little tummies can't take much at one time

oh and ignore older generation they have the benefit of rose-tinted spectacles which actually are given to you once your child goes to school

Tommy · 01/07/2005 11:05

Really feel for you Malachismum and have been there (in fact, am still there!)My DS1 only ate bread and cheese and hummous for a whole year but would drink milk for England.
Maybe easier said than done but please try not to worry about it - just offer what you know he likes for a few days and give yourself a break from it all.
Oh and ignore mums and MILs - they seem to all have a very selective memory about such things IME
Hang in there

Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 11:06

Gosh you lot are good, Youve cheered me up no ends, thank you so, so, so much. I cant beleive that 11 table spoon thing! Wow I feel better knowing this.

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Twiglett · 01/07/2005 11:08

best fact I ever learned when DS was a baby .. got it from a nutritionist .. it isn't baloney .. pass it on to everyone you know in the same position it is really really calming

TracyK · 01/07/2005 11:14

My ds was the same till I cut back on his milk. Now he has 7 oz of milk in the morning and then no more milk till bedtime. It was nursery that cut out his mid morning milk and once they did that he woofed his lunch!
But remember they are still teething and some days may not want a spoon/fork/hard foods.
My favourite was to give ds a banana - nice and soft and filling - or bread, butter and jam.

Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 11:33

So really I should try 6oz milk morning and 6oz around 3pm and 6oz at bed-time 7pm? Or miss out the mid afternoon altogether? He was having 9oz 3 times a day!

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eldestgirl · 01/07/2005 11:51

DS1 was the same, tall and slim!
I would just give milk in the morning and before bed. It's amazing how cutting out that afternoon bottle stimulates their appetite.
I find that my two go through phases of not eating much. Don't worry! We've all been there.

Original poster
malachismum · 01/07/2005 12:01

Do you give milk with breakfast.Ds used to eat a bowel of readybrek and banana and a bottle of milk. He wakes at 7ish and wont eat or drink straight away.

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Blu · 01/07/2005 12:15

Malachism - I am so jealous of you! DS was never interested enough in food to bother to try and feed himself!
Don't worry about this, I strongly echo keeping your M and MIl well away from the whole thing, just feed him on things that are easy for him to get on his fork, and finger food, and DON'T PUT PRESSURE on him, and let him pick away at his own pace. If he works up an appetite, he will shovel it in with his fingers. (and don't worry about mess, either!)

Blu · 01/07/2005 12:17

They get excitied with different stages - too keen on walking to eat etc, and now your DS is excited about using a fork and being independent. Let him work through it. he is obviously bonny and well.