Absolutely Desperate

[malachismum]

My nearly 1 year old son will not eat. Now I know Babies rarely starve themselves to death but honestly he eats so little, 2 mouthfuls of breakfast same for lunch and dinner. He has 3 9oz bottles a day and im terrified of cutting them back beause of the vits he will be missing, although Ive started using Abidec. He will not let anyone feed him, he has to do it himself with a fork, if I put food on the fork for him he takes it off and spends ages trying to put it back on himself. I am beingnagged by mother in law and my mother and am constantly in tears, which I know doesnt help. I am making 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches and 3 dinners in the hope that he will fancy one of them. Please help.

I guess it's different for every child, but ds2, now 15mths, has, since he was about 6mths old, had about 6-8oz milk when he wakes up, then 1/2hr later cereal with milk for breakfast. (I guess though with your ds if he has milk first thing he might not want breakfast, which is what ds1 was like.)

After lunch he has 2/3 oz milk, and a nap.

When he wakes up he has another 6/7 oz milk then and hour or so later dinner and then bed. He also has yogurts/custard/ice cream for dessert to make up the calcium requirement.

With ds1 I would stress and obsess daily counting how many ounces he had had, but now with ds2 I'm a lot more relaxed. If he doesn't have the amount recommended every single day I honestly don't think it's a big deal.

I agree. Ignore mum & MIL, and don't tell them too much.

Even if you are a first time mum, YOU are the mother. So follow your instincts. Anyway, your little one is a good weight for his age/size.

Relax and enjoy your time with him, they are only little once.

I was told that children (like adults) have hungry and not-so-hungry days. So try to think of what he eats over a week (rather than each day). Remembering that they only do eat a small amount for their tiny tummies.

Also remember that children that are overweight as babies or toddlers can suffer from being overweight all their lives. If you let yours eat when he is hungry, he'll learn not to eat out of habit, so his chances of being overweight (and all the associated health problems) later in life are greatly reduced.

And lastly, stop making 9 meals a day. You'll wear yourself out, and won't have time to enjoy him. Try out differnt things to see what he likes, and give him plenty of time to eat if he insists on doing it himself.

My brother has lived for 17 years on nothing but: peanutbutter on toast, cold breakfast cereal, apples, hamburgers from McDonalds (yuck!) that are just bread and the patty, milk, junk food (crisps, biscuits, chocolate but not often), and vitamin tablets. He has an autism spectrum disorder and will not eat anything else. He hasn't starved (actually was very fat for 2-3 years) and is healthy. Don't worry so much.

I know this is a bit extreme but there was a story in the paper a few months ago about a teenager who since a baby had only eaten jam sandwiches. Apparently he was perfectly healthy and had no vit/min deficiency (although he may have been taking supplements).

Well we had spag bol for lunch with twisty pasta reduced tom sauce which had lentils, spinach and broccoli in it and little meatballs with hidden carrot and red pepper in them and he ate quite well follwed by a yog. Then cut his mid afternoon milk down and he ate loads of the same for tea, plus a jelly and melon and satuma!!!!!!!! Unheard of. I cut his betime milk also. He was not too pleased about the reduced amount of milk and kept waving his bottle at me so I offered him raisins which he took. He has a favourite food now which I can sneak veg into, so Ill keep giving him this but try and offer other things aswell.

Thank you all so much.

Jess
xxxx

That's wonderful mm I'm so pleased, you must be feeling much better.

Well done, now can you please come to my house and cook for my boys please!