can you indulge me and tell me what your one year old eats?

[oranges]

I have a 19 month old baby who is not fussy as such, but eats in tiny quantities.
On a good day, he'll have - half a weetabix with milk,
six bites of pasta and brocolli, vanilla yoghurt,
6 bites of a blueberry muffin,
half a little bowl of chicken casserole with potatoes and carrots.

He used to eat an actual plateful of food, but hasn't done for about 4 months. Still drinks milk though. When he's sick, he won't eat a thing.

Oops - thought you were replying to me, Starlight, not Lazarou... Now my last post makes NO SENSE.

it made sense to me Habb, lol

Gosh habbibu, I haven't even attempted the spoon Can't see how that could possibly not result in disaster for me(this is with a dd who is not a sweet toothed little thing at all and hates the taste of Calpol etc)

And Starlight, if dd doesn't want dinner etc, then so be it. I'd eat mine anywy (and usually she would decide to eat too). I would probably offer an apple an hour or so later, if she doesn't want it, fine.

my lo is 15 mo and sorry ifyou thought i was being smug im not im in awe of her to be honest

sure it wont last though

What books are those then starlight?

Lazarou - yes... with DS1 I thought 'What on earth is all this fuss about getting babies to eat?' He tried everything and still does! DS2, on the other hand, was a total nightmare, but the funny thing is he did gradually change. They're 12 and nearly 14 now, and although DS2 doesn't eat quite the same range as DS1, he's not what you'd call fussy. I think it just proves that there's no point worrying about it - DS2's palate just took far longer to accept different tastes.

But starlight, if that's the rules, where is the stress?

Eg in my example, dd says 'NO' and runs off when I say yum, dinner time. My rule is, this is dinner time - you either have dinner now or you don't. I sit and eat dinner. Dd joins or not. No stress.

Your rule: it's dinner time - you have to eat with me now. You make him sit down and you eat your dinner. You are going to make him eat one spoonful. No stress.

You follow your rules calmly and positively (which I thought you explained that you did =- eg here is your avocado, you can eat it now if you want it).

my goodness. thank you all for your comments. starlight, i wish you luck with your baby, though i think your methods are a teeny bit too harsh for me (and I am not really sentimental about discipline). I am grateful that ds has a varied palate - he'll eat whole roast garlic cloves and spices with no problem, so I think I'll stop worrying. Thank you all again.

NO no, sorry dressedup it was more that I thought it might not be overly helpful to the original poster...

But I know -- I love blw too for all those amazing 'my baby is eating xxx' moments (but do steel yourself for completely out of the blue random toddlerness)

dd 18mo she has at least a pint sometimes two of full fat milk
breakfast: one weetabix (sometimes 1.5)
snack: bannana
lunch: one slice toast/sandwich (she doesnt eat bread picks out middle or licks it off)
dinner:whatever we are eating or full tin ravioli/meatballs (if it too spicey)
yoghurt if she has eaten her dinner

she doesnt eat meat unless its chicken or sausage mash spuds she loves pasta lasagne spag bol rice sweetcorn, ham but not the bread she will eat the stuff she doesnt eat with us at my moms which is odd!

Oops, crossed posts - the OP clearly has a pretty adventurous baby anyway

Hi, Ds 15 months eats small quantities usually

Breakfast: milk, toast, banana, rusk stick

Lunch: pasta, smoothie, dried fruit, water

Dinner: milk, steamed vegetables, small amount of what we're having, water.

Will have as much milk, dried fruit, pasta as I want but everything else in small amounts, sometimes he just throws it. HATES his highchair so we eat on the floor for lunch and let him sit at the table for dinner (stands on a chair) provided he doesn't climb on the table. Won't let me feed him usually. He makes a mess but likes 'helping' me clean up afterwards, so not too worried.

Oranges, he sound similar to your lo we tried to cut the milk down by first giving the same number of bottles with less in them then cut down one at a time slowly over a few weeks. When we got him down to 2 I increased the amount back to a normal bottle. Each time we took one away I just spent a few days putting a replacement activity in (eg go for a walk) which he loves. It has seemed to increased his appetite - he's just put on a bit of weight. I also find that if we are out somewhere (or he is allowed to sit at the table) he will let me feed him I just have to give him a spoon and while he's trying to feed himself he's happy to open his mouth for me. We've been doing this for about a month and I'm pretty happy as is he. I'm hoping the goal posts wont be shifted anytime soon

but starlight, you son is not even one year old yet. its too soon to be stipulating such harsh rules. IMHO... of course Of course there needs to be boundaries, of course manners, politeness and all the things you mention are important. you have plenty of time for this. yes you start a foundation of this now, but the way you've described it seems really extreme for a little chap of 11 months old!

Enjoy it now, have fun now. let him explore and learn his emotions. he needs to be able to assert his feelings as much as you need to discipline him... and teach him "your rules". give him a break he's a tiny lad of under 1 year old. let him be that! If he doesn't eat, he wont starve! he'll eat at the next meal.
If you insist on wanting him to learn your rules now, take it away if he doesnt want it. And some time mid afternoon, when he's forgotten about the bloody lovely avocado, give him something small to tide him over. he wont think he's won, he'll have forgotten... and he'll have had some food... just a thought

SM, your further clarifications have done nothing to sway me from my initial feelings re the way you're feeding your son.

This post, in particular:

"By StarlightMcKenzie on Tue 20-Nov-07 21:46:59
He's not a cuddly child! Never has been, - always wants to be off. When I tried to cuddle him he pushed me away. When I sat on the floor near him he completely ignored me. When I ignored him (getting on with chores) he would creep up on me and cuddle my leg - and when I bent down babble away!

Eventually, I sat on the floor with the spoon of avocado in my hand. He cruised around the furiture looking at and away, ignoring me and it, but still looking. He gradually got nearer, and nearer, and then cuddled me and I cuddled him back and stroked his hair. He looked on and off at the spoon with the odd sob, and - then after about 10 mins opened his mouth and ate it.

I whipped him straight into the high chair and gave his some more which he gobbled.

I didn't make him finish it (but I believe he would have, he was eating so fast), - only a few mouthfuls before I offered sweet potato (he finished all of this), and then his favourite yoghurt.

I believe he was using both resistence tactics and sucking up tactics. That's what I mean about manipulative! I was very surprised at his behvaiour!"

Well, how about I give you another perspective on it?

He thought that you were ignoring him, unless he ate the avocado. I've italicised why that might be the case.

And from the book I recommended further down here "No matter how distressed you feel, please keep in mind that your child is even more so. He is not trying to con you, manipulate you, nor is he trying to challenge you or willfully disobey."

Your child is a baby still, just learning about food. Honestly, when he's 3, you will look at other children his age and go "Omfg, did I really behave like that with such a baby?!" - or you ought to, anyway.

And can I just say that an avocado, and only an avocado, is a bollocks lunch.

Sorry, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner

But you say he had sweet potato as well?

So why not offer that to him?

Why did it need to be in the order you decided?

And I maintain that an avocado, and only an avocado, is a bollocks lunch for a child who clearly didn't want it at the time.

Why not offer him eg some toast, bits of cheese and celery sticks as well?

I really do feel you're being massively harsh on a very young child - and if you think it's because I'm in any way lax about food or table manners or manners in general, you'd be very wrong.

What will you do when he's older and doesn't want his dinner? Serve it up for breakfast? It's the length of time it took for him to eat the avocado, the "I'm a mean force-feeder" and the "odd sob" that got me about your posts.

Please, please get a copy of the book I've linked to. I got mine for about £3.

And please don't spend all afternoon trying to get a baby to eat one thing

he sounds like a spirited boy, starlight, careful you don't break that spirit over something so meaningless... poor lad.

And why shouldn't he control his world as he likes when it comes to deciding what he puts in his mouth and swallows?

You do, I assume?

Offer a range of healthy things, let him eat what he wants from them, be happy, talk about trucks and the birds in the garden, then if he's had enough after one mouthful, that's fine, if he wants to eat 10 mouthfuls, that's also fine, if he decides to eat his lunch, then ask for some of yours, still fine.

I don't get why you made him eat elderly avocado. I really don't think he'll have learnt any kind of lesson or worked out the "rules of the game" from this. And it depresses me to think there are rules of any game when it's about learning to enjoy food and the social occasions mealtimes ought to be. Not one person's will dominating another's.