can you indulge me and tell me what your one year old eats?

[oranges]

I have a 19 month old baby who is not fussy as such, but eats in tiny quantities.
On a good day, he'll have - half a weetabix with milk,
six bites of pasta and brocolli, vanilla yoghurt,
6 bites of a blueberry muffin,
half a little bowl of chicken casserole with potatoes and carrots.

He used to eat an actual plateful of food, but hasn't done for about 4 months. Still drinks milk though. When he's sick, he won't eat a thing.

I'd just like to add a little bit of advice i was given and have since read in a book on weaning and feeding.
I had real trouble getting my DD to eat 3 meals a day. i.e. Breakfast, hot lunch, hot dinner. or, not necessarily hot lunch and hot dinner but a 'full portion' at each sitting.

She would ALWAYS eat 2 meals a day, either breakfast, then refuse most of lunch but have a good dinner... or any combination of them.

It was suggested to me that she was possibly tired at tea time. To offer a good full sized meal at lunch time, then always a light tea , nothing too filling, heavy, or difficult to eat.
The emphasis being on making sure they have a reasonable balanced meal at lunch time, when they are not tired. So veg, protein etc.

So, typical day for us:
Breaky: Porridge/ farleys rusks
mid morning: a little cake bar/ fruit/drink of juice or milk
Lunch: Pasta, tuna, cheese, sweetcorn. or... mashed pots beans, broccoli cheese. or chicken etc... ( get the idea ) then fruit pot or yoghurt.
afternoon: maybe a biccie or fruit, and some water or fruit juice or even milk.
Tea: one slice toast, butter jam/lemon curd/ cheese.
if not much lunch, i'd give her some toast and scrambled eggs/ french toast. then fruit pot, or slices of fruit.
She also has about 3 breast feed a day:
First thing on waking.
Just before Sleep mid morning.
Bed time
sometimes mid arvo, or other times if wants it, though never much...

she'll happily eat her tea now, if she can feed herself. So its always finger food. Tends to alow me to feed her lunch, unless its pasta, she likes to do that herself.

I just give her time, and relax about it. She's been really ill this last week and not eating, i managed to get some farleys rusks into her a few times though.

oranges I do think maybe your LO is not that hungry as he's getting alot of milk, and sustaining himself on that. I think you said 5 bottles? thats alot for a little chap of his age... so he's just not that hungry? they only need about 3 bottles/ cups a day of milk at that age. maybe try cutting back on those? just a thought

Sorry, its been long, and maybe rambly, wa just trying to think of everything! Hope some of it helps

gosh, chasing a 1yo around with a spoon all afternoon doesn't sound much like fun for the poor thing, as a psychologist surely you must be aware of the damage you are doing ?

I am also surpirsed at your posts starlight. especially as you are a psychologist. It is this precious early time that our children are beginning their relationship with food, and eating. To make it stressful as such a young age, is surely setting yourself, and your son, for problems in the future.

It is cited in many texts that the way in which our weaning, and out interaction and relationships with food are formed at early ages, forms the basis for the rest of our lives. those children who have bad experiences are often likely to have issues with food as they grow up and really can assert independence and choice over food. becoming difficult eaters, fussy and even at the extreme, under or over eaters.

I think you should enjoy it more, and let him lead the way a little at such a young age. I agree, dont go and make new food if he refuses. Yes, be relaxed about it, he'll eat if hes hungry at the next meal time. Don't push it or force it.

would you really want to eat avocado that had been hanging round for 4 hours? really ? It perfectly reasonable for a baby/toddler to not want something one day, and be happy the next...

i'm not having a go at you at all, just would hate you to be causing problems for the future

My motto is:
You cannot control how much they eat or what they actually put in their mouths, but you can control what you provide.

Perhaps I should rephrase that in the light of Starlgiht's evidence that you can control what they get in their gobs - but I think that children actually should own this control.

Now I agree with Starlight that we control what they are provided with - so I provide a healthy, balanced meal (we eat together) and she chooses what/how much she wants to eat and then that's it - no alternatives. If she asked for a biscuit later, I might offer an apple or breadstick or something.

Mind you, I am happy for her to eat all the healthy/reasonable food she wants, whenever she wanted it (especailly when she was one!). I don't really understand why kids can't have their carrot sticks at 4pm rather than as part of their meal at 6pm (if you are cooking for everyone and just giving her a small portion of yours, it's no biggie is it?).

Mealtimes IMO should be happy and relaxed and fun!

Starlight - so you've currently a first degree in psychology? First to say I have NO qualifications in psychology, but I do wonder about the origins of people's uncomfortable relationships with food. I'm not talking about eating disorders, just the "food is a sin" "comfort eating" fussy, uncomfortable eating out stuff that's really common. Has your study covered areas like this? Have you been able to undertake any research in this area? I'm very aware that in my own discipline I'm well versed in my own area, but quite ill-informed in others.

DS1 age one - everything we ate except very spicy food.

DS2 - banana, weetabix, fromage frais, marmite sandwiches, peanut butter sandwiches.

the relationship with food that is being created here is quite disturbing really. To insist on eating what you've prepared is one thing, but to keep on at it all afternoon, even sitting on the floor with a spoon whilst your son is obviously distressed is beyond my comprehension. I did not suggest you were willingly damaging your son, I simply pointed out that as a psych you shoudl know that this could be damaging behaviour.

Fortyplus, that sounds like my two. ds1 would eat everything and still does, and ds2 seems to only like dairylea, bread and butter, bananas, grapes and yoghurts. I'll slave over a hot stove, well perhaps not slave, only for ds2 to have a couple of mouthfuls before pushing it away. He still gets a yoghurt though, I don't like the idea of 'if you don't eat your dinner you wont get pudding' as though it is some sort of reward.

I absolutely agree that a broad palate is a great thing for a child to have. But I also think that to teach your child that meals are fun, social occasions to be eagerly anticipated and relished is a great gift, and I would be concerned about adding in an element of stress to that unless absolutely necessary (e.g. my daughter screams blue murder when given medicine, but on occasion it's necessary). My daughter tends to eat more and better when I'm sitting next to her, peacefully eating and we "chat" about our day. She likes to use the same kind of spoon as me, and we swap bits of food and share. And sometimes the whole lovingly-cooked damn thing hits the floor. But really really rarely, and I'll honestly take that over making a stressful issue over food any day,.

hmmm I don't know if he will want to try things if it is associated with a negative experience - won't he learn 'oh god, this is something i have to do' not something i want to do. And therefore avoid trying new things in the future? Maybe..?

I would like my child to learn that trying new things is fun - sometimes it will be nice, sometimes not. So I get my 19mth old to try new things by being a bit silly and having licking contests and sharing food spaghetti-lovers-style . Sometimes she goes for it, sometimes she tries but spits it out in disgust . I also give her the opportunity to try (and/or see, play with, name) food again and again as I have read it can be 17 times before children get a definite taste for whether they dislike or like things. I am not going to make her eat something she doesn't want to (but I might subtly encourage with a few games and silliness as above).

my lo is very broad minded more so than my dh or me and im trying to do the same

a list of things she likes and eats competently

soup with bread chcked in to soak evry thing up then fingers and spoon for rest

mussels in white wine sauce

chips

rice

noodles

prawn crackers

poppadums

pancakes

scones

all veg of any sort raw or cooked

scrambled egg with dried chilli

sunday roast and all the trimmings

olives and prawns

spaghetti

i did blw i owe it all to aitch

i just ler her get on with it if she likes it she likes it

i give her baked beans even though i can stand neither the taste or smell

i would never reprimand her for not eating things rejecting them

bt i am stern about her prposely throwing things on the floor when she can sign no for enuff bless her

PS Habbibu, I used to have that with medicine - to the point where I couldn't actually give her any (she'd spit it out) and I sat down and thought 'how can i make this fun/less stressy?'. So we now give medicine to dolly first and then give dolly a big kiss for being brave and then we give it to dd - i ask her to open her mouth and i don't put it in until she is ready. Its all much calmer and slower.

Not saying that sometimes you have to just get on with it (and not saying you are doing anything wrong), but trying to illustrate the wider point that IMO there are usually other ways to approach things.

I don't give mine a yogurt instead of his main course. I give it to him regardless of how much of his main course he eats.

Starlight, you talked earlier about "the rules of the game", of your child being manipulative and of you insisting that he eat. These may have been unfortunate turns of phrase on your part, but they have made a number of people very uncomfortable. If you had simply left a bit of avocado on the floor (or on a plate on the floor), and left him to it, I think most people would have no quibble, but if you re-read your earlier posts the scenario you describe is more stressful. Perhaps you described it wrongly initially, but I don't think it's unreasonable for people to be uncomfortable and question you about the method you posted.

she has a small bowl of cereal for brekki

a biscuit or toast for elvenses

beans on toast for lunch

a yoghrt and fruit for a snack and then

half a kids bowl of wateva we are having

not loads but she's growing

i tend to find variety is the key with my lo

My DD is 18 months - tallish and not chubby at all. Some days eats loads some days little.
Typical day starts with ready brek and honey, a little toast and honey or jam and a little milk(doesn't drink much milk was Bf 'til 9 months)
tea break - fresh oj diluted with water - some grapes, Home bake (if lucky) loves kitkats and other choc but this is a treat.
Lunch can be a scrambled egg or cooked ham and toast, sometimes soup, yoghurt or rice pud or custard,
dinner baked pot and tuna or salmon cooked in oj , likes casseroled meat, risotto,roast b'nut squash, chicken thigh roasted, mince with lots of veg hidden with rice, yoghurt, fruit.
But some day lots of food some days not - I try not to stress - and give her the chance to try lots - annoying when she chucks it onto the floor - not that it hits the floor - the dog catchs it! :')

mummymagic - actually, if she's to have it at bathtime or during a meal she's pretty good. If it's teeth/temp in the middle of the night I'm afraid the syringe comes out - we've been covered in Calpol from the flying spoon too many times! But we use your trick for toothbrushing,and she loves that!

Well, then I get the avocado out, naturally

PS dressedup, out of interest how old is your lo?

Cos my beautifully blw dd would eat all that at 12 mths (and oh, how smug and proud I was) but is now much more random and toddler-y!

Then he eats none. So what? Has he learnt anything so terrible. I'll eat ice-cream when I'm not hungry, of course I will. I imagine my daughter would too! But sometimes I don't feel like much to eat, so I don't bother. That's ok, and I like it that my daughter does the same (when I've got over the ICOOKEDTHAT stress) - I like that she eats according to her appetite, and has regulated her weight quite spectacularly well since birth by doing that - first by demand breastfeeding, and then blw.

Oaktree, I hope this finds its' way to you.

You were asking about children having a preference for sweet food. I would sometimes give dd1 a spoon of sweet then a spoon of savoury or even mix them up on the spoon.

I really don't want to go down the clear plate route. My mum did this to me when I was little (about 8 yo) and I had to eat all my green vegetables otherwise I wouldn't be able to go on holiday with my cousin and GParents. So whenever I could I would hide the vegetables and guess what? After the holiday my mum couldn't get me to eat my veg. I still have a dislike for all green veg and cauliflower, except runner and green beans because they weren't ever served when I was younger.