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Original poster

Alcohol - when does it become a problem?

136 replies

PamT · 16/09/2002 22:31

I know that quite a lot of the members here talk about the amount of wine they drink and I'm not suggesting that anyone has a problem, but when does drinking become a problem? I don't drink an awful lot and if I open a bottle of wine it does tend to last 2 or 3 days but more often now I am finding myself thinking that I would like a drink, particularly when the kids are really stressing me out. I never drink more than a couple of measures on my own, but is that strong desire for a drink a sign that I am on a slippery slope - or does it just mean that I need to relax and enjoy a drink? I'm strong willed enough at the moment to resist but these thoughts do worry me.

My friend and I were discussing our current states of mind on the way home from school today and we are both feeling really down and unmotivated. We both finally have a couple of hours on our own with our youngest children in nursery/playgroup, yet our get up and go seems to have got up and gone. I spend my time on message boards and she watches tv, then we both see the mess that surrounds us and get more annoyed with ourselves but have no enthusiasm to do anything about it. Perhaps its just that the summer holidays have taken their toll or maybe we both need a kick up the bum.

Sorry to lump the two subjects together but they all seem to be part of the same problem. Your opinions and suggestions would be welcome. (BTW we both have a DH around but neither really seems to be clued up about how we are feeling)

OP posts:

susanmt · 01/10/2002 20:24

Wilma - I just realised it was today you were going to the doctor. How did things go? Was he able to be of any help?
Still thinking of you.

wilmaflintstone · 01/10/2002 20:47

thank you susanmt. I went to the doctor and asked for a pescription for detox. He asked me a few questions and decided I need help, I could have told him that!
I was a bit shocked though because he didn't want to give me a pescription today until he had got me some professional support! I persuaded him in the end because I said if he couldn't help me today then I'd have to go and buy a bottle of vodkas as I had none in the house. He gave way and has given me a detox program and I have just taken my first dose of tablets! I've also had to tell DH what I was really doing at the doctors as I'm not allowed to drive for a couple of days as the dose is going to make me very drowse. I can't wait to get through all this and I'd like to thank everyone on mumsnet for all your support as it was you that encouraged me to do something about it (no one else apart from DH knows the mess I'm in). Thank you all for helping me before I wrecked my life and DH, DS and DD.
A bid hug to you all!

lilibet · 01/10/2002 20:59

Really well done. I've not contributed before on this but have been reading it and I am so proud of you. Esp as you had to wait for the appointment, you had plenty of time to chicken out and didn't do it. You have taken such a big step. I'm sure your dh is proud of you. Well done again and big cyber hug

Bozza · 01/10/2002 21:02

Well done Wilma. And I would imagine that its a huge weight off your mind to have told your DH. IMO its nobody else's business so you've told everyone you need to now. Are you still going ahead with the prof. support now that you have persuaded the doc to jump the gun slighly with the detox prescription? I think it might be helpful.

Anyway wishing you all the very best.
Bozza

WideWebWitch · 01/10/2002 21:08

Wilma, well done, very well done. Agree, it's between you, your DH and your doctor. You've done a brave thing in admitting the problem and also the best thing: doing something about it. Congratulations.

susanmt · 01/10/2002 21:12

Congratulations Wilma and well done for going. Hopefully your doc will be able to get you some professional support sorted out really soon , and you will e on the road to recovery really quickly!
I am so proud when I hear someone has done something like this, so REALLY well done!

wilmaflintstone · 01/10/2002 21:22

Thank you susanmt, and I'm very honoured you let your DH into mumsnet!

trudles · 01/10/2002 21:39

WELL DONE WILMA I'M THINKING OF YOU

sobernow · 01/10/2002 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wilmaflintstone · 01/10/2002 22:09

thank you very much sobernow and trudles. I've got through my first day and instead of feeling ashamed I'm feeling very pleased with myself. DH seems really happy too!!

Lizzer · 01/10/2002 22:22

YAY!!! Go wilmaflintstone!

Willow2 · 01/10/2002 22:28

Brilliant news!!

leander · 01/10/2002 22:36

well done Wilma,You done the hardest thing by asking for help,Keep it up you know you can do this.
love L xx

bundle · 02/10/2002 12:59

brilliant news, wilmaflintstone, keep up the good work, it must be tough, but I'm sure it'll be worth it

Original poster

PamT · 02/10/2002 13:01

Wilma, I'm so proud of you, I've got tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. You've taken such a big step, well done. I bet your DH is really proud and pleased too. Good luck in overcoming it but I think you've already done the hardest bit.

OP posts:

Marina · 02/10/2002 19:34

Wilma, I have only really just caught up with this and can't offer any useful advice. But I just wanted to say, well done to you, what you did yesterday was fantastic. I hope you continue to get the help you need from your GP and from elsewhere, including here. I had a friend in childhood whose mother loved her dearly but who drank. I think you have made a decision that can only be good for all of you.

GRMUM · 03/10/2002 06:53

Wilma just wanted to add my "Bravo" to everybody elses.I really admire you for tackling this problem,especially,as someone else said,you didn't back out of the appointment even though you had to wait 2 weeks.Whatever difficult or stressful times you find along the way keep posting on mumsnet,the girls on here are incredibly supportive and I'm sure will help.LOL

Batters · 03/10/2002 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wilmaflintstone · 03/10/2002 15:08

thank you all very much for your support. The doctor wants to see me again tomorrow with my DH, not sure what he wants to see us both for, I know he wants to do a blood test on me to make sure my liver is ok. I feel fine at the moment, just a bit drowsy from the detox. I feel a bit proud of myself that I'm doing it on my own when I thing about all those famous people who need to book themselves in to these expensive clinics, maybe that is another thread! When I feel the time is right I'll change my nickname back from wilma to my original name but at the moment I don't really feel in a state to advise anyone else, I need a bit of selfish time, hope you understand and thanks for all your kind words.

SoupDragon · 03/10/2002 15:33

Well done Wilma!

Maybe your doc wants to see you and your DH as Dh is likely to be your first point of support and therefore needs to know what's going on? It's kind of like being a birth partner I guess.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Original poster

PamT · 07/10/2002 09:57

Wilma, how did you get on at the doctor's on Friday, was DH supportive? I hope you're not finding it too difficult to stick to your guns. You sound so determined to make it work for your family that I'm sure you'll do it. I'm still really proud of you.

OP posts:

sobernow · 07/10/2002 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

PamT · 14/10/2002 13:49

Wilma, are you ok? We haven't heard from you for a while.

OP posts:

sister · 14/10/2002 16:11

I'll be brave and post under my original name as the person who knew who I was also knows about my problem.
I've had two weeks with out alcohol and have another appointment tomorrow to visit my gp. My DH is really happy! My doctor wants me to go for counsiling but I'm really anti the idea. I suffered from eating disorders when I was in my teens and have had all the counsiling I can take and never found it helped me. It does worry me a bit that I don't have a contingency plan if I hit a low.
The only problem I worry about now is if I'll ever be able to have a drink again without it immediately becoming a problem. It's my DS fourth birthday in two weeks time and I'd love to celebrate with a bottle of wine but I don't want to ruin the progress I've made. I feel so much better already and getting really excited about the extra cash I'm going to have to spend on DS birthday and ds and dd for christmas. Many thanks for all your support.

Original poster

PamT · 14/10/2002 16:23

I'm so glad that things are working out and it sounds like DH is behind you too. I did wonder whether you would have to go completely dry or if you would manage the occasional drink. From what you have said you were in control of the situation by the fact that you didn't want to drink so much but it was your body that was so used to the alcohol wouldn't allow you to give up. Perhaps in time you will be comfortable in drinking a moderate amount and then turning away again. Giving up forever seems like a big thing. I'm really glad that you've come so far so soon, I hope your next appointment goes ok.

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