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Original poster

Is anyone up for a parents of fussy eaters support thread?

156 replies

DevonFolk · 04/01/2014 11:26

My three year old is very picky. I've made a promise to myself not to get too worried about it just yet because I was exactly the same and now I'll eat pretty much anything.

But it just gets so boring! If I do a roast I'm lucky if she picks at the chicken and I have to make sure I do brocolli or cauliflower (the only cooked vegetables she'll eat) and keep out raw carrots for her. There's pretty much no meal that I would want to cook for myself that I know she will eat too.

I'm not going to push it with her because I just don't see the point. She's encouraged to try new things and we talk about it a lot. If she tries something I praise her but if she doesn't like it, fine. To me it's the willingness to try at this stage that's important.

I'm sure I can't be the only one who experiences this. Like I say, I'm not going to get hung up on it or try to find an instant magic solution, it would just be nice to know I'm not alone!

OP posts:
MrsSnail · 04/01/2014 19:56

Can I join? DD( 3) now eats about half the things she ate a year ago. Curry, cheesy pasta, bolognase, roast potatoes, mash, carrots have all been abandoned as Yuck! Thank god for fish fingers!
And she says she hates chicken and won't eat it but can't actually tell the difference between fish fingers and the chicken ones :)
mealtimes are becoming very boring and stressful :)

cheminotte · 04/01/2014 20:08

Can I join please? I have DS aged 3 and 6. Ds1 is the worst but I fear Ds2 is beginning to copy him. Neither will eat cooked veg except perhaps broccoli so they end up having raw veg while we have cooked. They each have their favourites so ds1 likes carrots and tomatoes while Ds2 loves peppers and beetroot. I know this doesn't sound too bad. But for actual cards we struggle. Both Ds love pizza - we have it weekly at home. Toast and chips ok too. Ds1 will not eat pasta at all or rice or potatoes other than chips or jacket. Ds2 loves pasta but rarely gets it at home.
Ds1 is on school dinners 4x week and they regularly tell me he's just not eating it. But he won't always eat a packed lunch either and its easier for me. Since October he has jacket potato one day a week which is an expensive option but at least I know he's had something that day. Ds2 has hot dinners at nursery and eats really well there, but so did ds1 at that age.

cheminotte · 04/01/2014 20:09

Should say carbs not cards.

letsgotostonehenge · 04/01/2014 20:13

hi, can i join? I feel really stressed out all the time about my two's eating habits, but especially my dd(5), she won't eat potatoes! or anything much really and it does get you down especially when dh says 'don't worry, don't worry!' really annoying as of course i'm going to worry!

FreelanceMama · 04/01/2014 20:16

DS is nearly 2 and is starting to get fussy. Does anyone have this happen? Child adores a meal e.g. Homemade lasagne or pizza or risotto one night. I feel very smug. Next time I make it child won't even touch it and starts crying. I feel like crying.

Am I setting up bad habits if I then give him something else instead?

He's not saying a lot at the moment so it's not like I can involve him too much in choosing what we eat.

I'm also putting weight on finishing his meals!

BrownPaint · 04/01/2014 20:17

I've been meaning to start a thread like this for ages. DD ate EVERYTHING when she was being weaned. I think avocado was the only food she ever refused and she had a really wide variety of foods.

Now the only veg she will eat is broccoli and cauliflower. She likes tomatoes in a sauce, but it don't really count those (I know they're a fruit).

I've gone right back to basics instead of making her what I think she should be eating at this age (4). I've also started asking her what she wants for dinner and making it for her. She seems to eat more when she helps me cook. All her meals have broc and or cauli so I'm really worried about which veg she'll eat when she's sick of those.

She'll happily eat fish, but no chicken or pork...she'll eat beef mince with hidden carrots. She used to love courgettes but can now taste them if I try and eat them. I find it so stressful and blame myself.

I'm completely cutting out snacks (unless it's fruit) and limiting her milk (she still drinks loads) to see if that will help.

NachoAddict · 04/01/2014 20:20

letsgo dsd wouldn't eat potatoes at all when I first started cooking for her but now I just do her a small portion and she has a good go. Especially mash or jackets. SHE'S not fussed on chips or roast potatoes though.

BrownPaint · 04/01/2014 20:20

Maybe if we have success with a recipe we should post here for others to try. I know I said she doesn't eat chicken, but when I made this she loved it...

www.lovefood.com/guide/recipes/12896/rachel-allens-chicken-openpot-roast

I cut down on the mustard. She's keen on ver salty food unfortunately...

BrownPaint · 04/01/2014 20:23

Freelance I used to offer alternatives! but I've stopped now...

letsgotostonehenge · 04/01/2014 20:24

do you know what i've found myself doing now? Trawling through recipes to find something she might just eat and i mean hundreds of recipes, but when there's only a few linited foods she will eat it is nearly a losing battle Sad

letsgotostonehenge · 04/01/2014 20:25

*limited

letsgotostonehenge · 04/01/2014 20:26

i did BLW and she used to eat everything!!! I just find it hard to believe now!!!

NotCitrus · 04/01/2014 20:27

Hi... I saw yet another thread the other day with parents of fussy eaters yet again being told "well they'd eat in MY house..."
SIL tried hard not to say that. Then had ds for 2 days. Nursery said they'd never met a child like him for not eating. School have now referred him to a dietician. Thankfully another family member had much worse food issues as a kid and now at 18 is much better, so I'm less stressed than most people over it.

But I could throttle all the people who tell me they aren't going to make a big thing about his eating and won't mention it, immediately followed by asking if ds would like some of X, it's really nice you know, go on, have a little bit, oh well, pout, I'll eat it then, you really should try it you know... ARGH!!!

I don't have any truck with fussiness beyond his myriad dislikes, so if he's asked for something that's what he gets, but at the moment getting him to simply relax round food is key - he's enjoying school dinners and eating a couple new things so I'm leaving it for now - he's only 5 and incredibly healthy.

Sunshineonsea · 04/01/2014 20:28

Ds(4) is a fussy eater. I have about 4 meals on constant rotation (fish fingers, sausages, chicken nuggets, Boiled eggs. He will only eat smash and not proper mashed potatoe. No veg.
Hates pasta, rice etc and any tomatoe based sauces (but will eat ketchup and beans)
I'm not too worried as he gets plenty of fruit and will eat a
Full meal everyday but I just wish it wasnt the same rubbish, I'd love him to eat home cooked food

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 04/01/2014 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleJellyDisc · 04/01/2014 20:36

Signing in

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 04/01/2014 20:37

Glad you found us, Buffy. See, all in the same boat and not judgmental at all!

Quite fancy your rice, egg and peas! I made something similar this week (see above), but it was roundly rejected!

maillotjaune · 04/01/2014 20:45

Signing in. I love threads like this as my 9 year old is still so fussy that most meals for him are meat plus rice or pasta and ketchup.

Except when we have fish and chips as he will eat 6 fish fingers plus ketchup. Or the one surprise - rice and dhal (sadly only my home made lentils so we can't take him out).

He ate everything until he was 2 1/2 and his brothers are not that fussy (although they definitely know their preferences and won't eat certain things but they have varied diets) so again I don't think DS2's fussiness is just a parenting failing Smile

My personal bit of light at the end of the tunnel came on Chris as day when his lunch consisted of

  1. plate of Turkey, ham and sausages with ketchup
  2. 3 helpings of Christmas pudding
  3. 3 slices of stilton Shock

Still no veg but the fact he even tried 2 and 3 is amazing enough.

NotCitrus · 04/01/2014 20:46

No idea why my phone is double-posting.
We just don't have family meals much, as MrNC only gets home from work at 8 or later. Ds is in bed by then. But when we do, he knows not to whinge, to eat the one thing we know he likes (eg garlic bread and Yorkshire puds for Christmas dinner), with some vague table manners, and then to ask to be excused.

And magically knows to always say please and thank you to his grandparents etc. We had big family meal at my parents the other day - 3 kids had own table, dd age nearly 2 was great, the 5yos set a good example, ds ate bread and later tried cheesecake, and everyone had fun.

Ds ate everything except avocado until he was 18 months - I have his nursery diaries to prove it. Dd is now trying it on, but is very different - she'll eat anything not too chewy if she feels like it.

Once ds is more used to school I may get them to try some of the ideas from a friend who works with autistic kids who often have very similar food issues - ds is clearly terrified of certain textures especially near his mouth - though he wouldn't get any ASD diagnosis as his social skills are way better than mine, and I've been told I could have an Aspergers diagnosis but I make too much eye contact (I lip-read...)

I was very fussy about food as a child, but mostly I would eat my mum's good cooking but gag on overboiled 1970s veg and meat in slime. Once I hit puberty most of the gag reflex left and I eat almost anything now.

fotheringay · 04/01/2014 20:51

Hi can I join in? have ds 9 currently under assessment for asd and with sensory issues who is really fussy but eats well within his ok (very few) foods if you see what I mean and dd 7 who eats anything but has had a severe wheat intolerance since she was a baby so can't eat lots of things, between the two I seem to spend a lot of time planning and thinking about food Smile

BrownPaint · 04/01/2014 20:55

I've lost count of the number of times I've told myself that I wouldn't have a problem if I'd done BLW...

letsgotostonehenge · 04/01/2014 20:56

so that theory has gone out of the window brown!

HumphreyCobbler · 04/01/2014 21:04

One of the worst things ime is the smugness of other people who have no bloody clue how stressy it is having a fussy eater.

I did blw too Brown! Didn't make a bit of difference. DS DID grow out of it (although won't eat potatoes in any form) but DD at five has now started to be fussy. She used to eat anything Sad

Primrose123 · 04/01/2014 21:06

Can I join? I have a 16 year old DD who has always been fussy.

She never liked food, even as a baby. I wanted to make home made food when she was a baby, but she wouldn't eat it. The only thing she would eat was horrible powdered baby food that I mixed with water, and then it was only about three spoonfuls. I finally managed to move her onto baby jars, but there were only about four that she would eat, and she was still eating those at the age of two, and they were the non lumpy ones.

She was the same all through her childhood. There were only a few things that she liked, always very bland food. She's now sixteen and still very fussy. I don't think she'll change, it's just the way she is.

When she was 3 I had DD2. She loved eating as soon as I weaned her. I fed her first on fruit, then vegetables, and then she just had normal food. She will try anything and there is very little that she doesn't like.

I have come to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with the mother or the way they are weaned - some children eat well, and others don't.