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Are faddy eaters born or made?

143 replies

Karmamother · 26/04/2006 08:50

Discuss. Smile

OP posts:
alexsmum · 27/04/2006 09:35

my big sister was apparently a terrible eater.Was very fussy and just refused food all the time.My brother and i were fine.
Now as adults, she just isn't interested in food at all and will forget to eat.If you put food down in front of her she will eat it and enjoy it but if she has to cook she can't really be bothered.She is naturally slim.
My brother and i love food,cooking eating etc.We are both porkers!
I think quite a bit of it is nature.

But people who say'oh my child will only eat chips and chocolate' then that's made.If the child wasn't given chips and chocolate then they wouldn't be in that position.

Bugsy2 · 27/04/2006 09:55

I agree that lots of children may be born with a superior sense of taste & issues with texture. However, I do think they can be encouraged to develop their repartie & eat a relatively "normal" diet.
DS is extremely taste & smell sensitive. He still gags & retches if anyone within a room's radius opens a ripe banana. He still sniffs food before he eats it when he is at home (I've told him not to do it in public!!!!). However, I really do believe that you can extend their diet. It does take a long time & is a slow process but it can be done without torturing them or making it unpleasant.
Always at the back of my mind is that thought that so many children around the world have no opportunity to be fussy eaters!

Bozza · 27/04/2006 10:06

Well as a child I think I was the least fussy of the three of us but have ended up the slimmest despite having had the most babies (although only 2). But the things I didn't like were chips, potatoes, fried eggs, bacon etc whereas I liked all veg, pasta,rice etc. My sisters loved chips and potatoes but were difficult about veg. As was typical in the 70s lots of meals were served with chips or boiled potatoes. It was a rule that I had one spoonful or chips and my sisters had one spoonful of veg. I now eat all the above and think part of my issue was that my Mum used to serve them dripping with fat.

alexsmum · 27/04/2006 10:10

my ds hates fat.if there is the slightest trace of fat on meat he rejects it.he's a fantastic eater though especially fruit and veg.

elliemae · 27/04/2006 10:12

hi,
BORN definatly my dd 3 and has never liked food ,had to wean her early as she didn`t like milk ! She only eats
mash & gravy
toast
chicksticks
crusts of dry bread
She seems to have an aversion to wet food and strong smells, flavours , have tried everything to extend her diet.She only eats enough to take the hunger off and hardly ever asks for foodSad
She is really slim and think she will always be the same .

iota · 27/04/2006 10:13

I have one fussy and one brilliant eater.

I think they were born like it.

Both went F/T to the same day nursery from the age of 6 months and were treated in the same way there, i.e. no pandering to fussiness, peer pressure and all that stuff.

Yet ds1 likes very plain food, no sauces and nothing must touch on his plate - 3 separate piles - carbs, meat and veg ( and if a speck broccoli contaminates the carrot, it has to be inspected and removed before being eaten)

Ds2 loves gravy and sauces, can't get enough of any sort of meat, is a joy to feed. He hates cheese though.

Ds1 takes ages over his food, inspecting every piece, ds2 just crams it in.

anniediv · 27/04/2006 10:13

I have 3 girls, the oldest will eat almost anything except tomatoes, and will have a good go at trying most new things, eg when abroad. The middle one (who was introduced to food in exactly the same way, and sees the example of her older sister eating well), has a very limited (compared to her sister) range of foods that she will eat, mainly pasta, bread and potato based food. So I'm very interested in how number 3 will turn out. So I think a combination of made and born, because I have sort of given up trying to get number 2 to try new things, so I'm reinforcing her faddiness.

To be honest, as long as she eats something that resembles a proper meal, I don't let myself get too worked up.

perfumelady · 27/04/2006 10:14

with out a doubt born, as a child i was giving everything home cooked and healthy i wasn't aloud to eat in between meals and very rarely ate sweets(even though my nan owned a sweet shop) i was a very fussey eater din't like chlli,fish,salad etc i used to drive my mums mad and she would make me sit at the table til i finished my food. i have three children , i home cook healthy foods about four times a week with meat and veg etc the other days are crappy fast foods like pizza, fish fingers this is because two of my children are fussy eaters they will eat meat and the only veg they eat are carrots and swede mixed so there are only so many meals you can make with that chose, i'm lucky that they will eat mince so that gives me a wider variety. my dd2 eats anything fruit veg meat etc. all three of my children were breast feed and as babies all solid food was home cooked but when the two fussy ones reached about two years old they wouldn't eat hardly anything healthy.i think it is all to do with texture and smell.

KathyG · 27/04/2006 10:17

Ds1 is a wonderful eater, even loves sprouts (asks for seconds of sprouts at Christmas dinner). Ds2 is definetely faddy. Hates fruit (except bananas), sweetcorn, peas, mushrooms, courgettes, tomatoes etc. I think a lot of it is down to mind games though as he has always eaten reasonably well for our childminder. Mealtimes usually ended up with delaying tactics like needing to go to the toilet, looking out of the window, and lots of shouting. He tends to do this stupid thing if there is something he doesn't like, where he swallows without chewing. This leads to lots of retching. We have resorted to a sticker chart. If he eats his meal properly he gets a smiley sticker if not, it is a sad face. We have had five smileys this week so far and we are holing for the full seven. If he gets seven smileys in one week, he gets to choose the tea for Saturday. Two sad faces means no playstation on Friday, three is no PS on Fri and Sat, and 3 means whole weekend with no PS (we only let him on it at weekends for an hour). He did mention the other day that he doesn't like courgettes but he still ate them (he chewed as well). Hopefully the chart will help break the cycle.

cataloguequeen · 27/04/2006 10:37

I did an online test (can't remember where)and was told I was a Supertaster...I can distinguish flavours separately in a sauce for example..anyone else?

williamsmummy · 27/04/2006 10:39

I think the majority are made. There are so many emotional issues around food, on both sides.
There are some that are born, with disorders, and they do need the professional help and suport by the medical profession. But these are few.

Babies at a year old sometimes reduce the amount of calories they eat, as their growth rate is not as high as during the first year, and parents do panic when they see an infant clamping shut mouths when food is still in the bowl.

Sometimes the parents have their own food problems, and have a narrow group of foods that they are able to eat. Both parents eating habits play a part on the childs attitude towards food.

I certainly think that 'family eating' has dropped over the years, and not eating at a table has contributed to the rise of poor eaters.

Schools in my generation (ooh am nearly 40! AHHH!) did not teach us what a balanced diet meant, and how to cook it. Many adults today have little idea how to cook simple meals, anything behond boiling a kettle and pressing a button on a microwave is considered too much effort.
This is where annabel K has made so much money, there MUST be people out there who have no idea what a puree is, or what a potato masher is if they are buying the books!!!

Children quickly grasp the control that they have over parents , and parental guilt at times makes them unable to be firm.
Many parents feel that its up to the children to control and choose their own diet. For many reasons this is not something that should be done.

There is no such thing as 'childrens food' it is something that food advertisers have done over the years to make us buy there products.
Rare are the occasions when I buy cheese strings for my children, a crap food if ever I saw one!

What is truly shocking is that poor diets in children is not just restricted to the families living on benifits, who for all sorts of reasons, find providing a better diet for there family impossible. ( for e.g not owning a car, and being unable to shop at supermarkets and get better value for money)
There is a group of middle class children who are on extremly poor diets. I have had many of my childrens friends in my home who dont recognise many of the ordinary vegetables that I cook for them.
If its not pizza , chips,sausage , chicken nuggets,at home, mobile phones provide a way to get a curry delivered .( i mean that the children ring and get parents to pay!!!)

Food should be an enjoyable thing, something positive in life, I find it amazing that parents make simple cruical mistakes because they dont have the ability to see the long term damage they are doing. Its also not just the crap diet, its the what parents SAY to their children that is building the next batch of adults with eating disorders.

I have a child with extreme food allergies, common foods have the potenital to kill him, but his range of foods that he eats is far wider than many of his peers.
There are undoubtedly times when he is afraid of food, that cant be helped, and he has good reason to be cautious. But he does enjoy his food, its equally a happy, social occasion with food he loves.
As a family we pick a new food to try every year, this year we are going to france on hol, so its going to be horse /frog legs , last year was oysters.
In some ways having a child with so many alleriges has meant that we have to provide our family with a better quailty of diet. I dont have the choice to buy many junk type foods as they are unsafe for our son. For every cloud there is indeed a silver lining.

Karmamother · 27/04/2006 11:31

Williamsmummy, thats very interesting. It reminded me of Jamie Oliver's school dinners programme. Mind you, the children who didn't know what the veg were lived in Peterlee which does have it's fair share of families on benefits. Don't wish to generalise about families on low incomes but it is far cheaper to feed your kids on reconstituted chicken's bits than a good plate of meat & 2 veg. Didn't they send a mum & her 6yr old son to the supermarket with a shopping list & she didn't know what basil was, where in the shop she'd find it or what form it came in. I find that a bit surprising in this day & age where there is so much info about & a million cookery progs on.

I was also relieved to learn there are lots of kids out there who have aversions to smells. My DS has an attack of the vapours if there is vinegar on anyone's food.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 27/04/2006 11:33

williamsmummy..I eat a wide range of foods but i wouldn't eat horse that's for sure

morningpaper · 27/04/2006 11:49

I honestly think that anyone who says fussy eaters are "made" has never had a truly fussy eater. Williamsmummy saying families don't eat properly etc. is fine but it makes those of us with fussy eaters feel like we are being shit parents.

We eat organic, shop at farms and farmers markets, cooking and eating are basically all my life revolves around but I still have a 3 year old who is off the bottom of the height/weight scale and in the last 48 hours has eaten nothing but half petit filou (because "There is too much in this pot mummy!" A petit filou FFS!) and two fishfingers. She is at nursery now for 2 days and won't eat anything when she is there. And she would MUCH rather be able to eat normally but there is just something in her that finds most foods repellent.

Is there anyone here who DOES have a fussy eater who honestly believes that they MADE them that way?

tortoiseshell · 27/04/2006 11:53

williamsmummy - I agree some fussy eaters are made, but I honestly believe a TRULY fussy eater is born. Ds knows all the vegetables - we have meals at the table etc. He just CAN'T swallow them. And he really wants to be a good boy and eat them, but just can't.

Interesting about things 'touching' each other on the plate - that is another of ds' things - he has only just managed to eat pasta sauce, and won't touch pizza because it is 'too complicated' with bread, tomato sauce AND cheese all together. And foods on the plate have to be kept separate. Gravy would be the biggest disaster known to man!

zippitippitoes · 27/04/2006 11:53

the assumption with the made theory is that there is a point at which the making starts..if they are born fussy and continue that way and are in a family where siblings and parents eat normally then i think you have to say born

ds was never the slightest influenced by hunger or peer pressure and still isn't

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 27/04/2006 12:03

I believe my dd was 'made'. She has a chronic medical problem but not one that has a physical impact on eating. She eats like a horse now but has a very limited diet. She was 'made' because circumstances mean't she was weaned late, had a tube which aggravated her gag reflex etc...

Ds2 is probably a good mix of both born/made - he obviously has a tendency towards obsessiveness not just in relation to food. But I know that the problems we have had surrounding his sister have mean't that he's been pandered to.

Also I think there's a distinction between faddy eaters and non-eaters. My dd being faddy and your mp more of a non-eater.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 27/04/2006 12:04

Sorry 'yours mp'.

morningpaper · 27/04/2006 12:04

mine insists of separation of foods too!

"Oh no mummy the pasta touched the tomato!" (cue sobbing)

bundle · 27/04/2006 12:05

dd1 (deffo NOT fussy eater) does that too morningpaper

poppiesinaline · 27/04/2006 12:09

I would say mostly born but made a little ... maybe, but mostly born.

Didnt Robert Winston once do a programme on this? Supertasters or something. Gave rice paper to different children and adults with some special 'thing' on it (sorry cant remember what) and to some children and adults it tasted of nothing and to others it tasted completely vile.

I always eat with the kids and always dish them up the same as what I am eating - normal home cooked food. DS1 is an AWFUL eater and always has been. I never pander to him and he never gets dished up something else instead. DD is a fab eater and will always try new things. DS2 is good too - so far but then he is only 1 Grin

bundle · 27/04/2006 12:17

the supertasters thing doesn't really mean anything, and many more women than men are supertasters. i would say that it's mostly the environment, ie the way you're brought up/exposed to certain situations builds on any tendencies you were born with.

Issyfit · 27/04/2006 12:24

I tend towards 'born', although I think it's probably more than possible to 'make' a fussy eater. Having said that it must be something to do with the ready availability of food in our society, as I doubt if a 'fussy eater' is much of a concept in ...well, most of East Africa currently.

poppiesinaline · 27/04/2006 12:34

PMSL Issyfit I continually hear myself saying to DS1 'you wouldnt say you didnt like it if you were really hungry like those poor kids in Africa!' Shock

Karmamother · 27/04/2006 12:37

Good point, issyfit. Do you think a lot of parents "pander" to their kids? When I was pg with my first, & therefore knew nothing about the raising of children, I was visiting a friend who was giving her 3yr old his lunch. When he refused his lunch, she promptly cooked him another one!! I couldn't believe it & added it to my list of "Things I'll never do as a parent".

OP posts: