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Are faddy eaters born or made?

143 replies

Karmamother · 26/04/2006 08:50

Discuss. Smile

OP posts:
KTeePee · 26/04/2006 10:41

Interesting point lazycow - I'm not skinny but quite slim and generally can eat what I want without putting on weight. In fact considering the quantities I get through sometimes, I should be the size of a house

moondog · 26/04/2006 10:43

Made,and then indulged (with a very few exceptions.)
Bet there are no fussy eaters in poor communities.
My dd tries very hard to be a fussy eater but is completely ignored.

Twinkie1 · 26/04/2006 10:44

Deffo born - DD ate everything and so do I and DP but DS will only eat sausages, cucumber and chips - I give up as hopefully he will start eating other stuff as he gets older but I am not starving him to make him because that too traumatic for all of us!!

And the BF thing doesn't add up as I breastfed DS for longer than DD!!

JoolsToo · 26/04/2006 10:48

Both! Grin

GDG · 26/04/2006 10:50

fence sitter oner

Wink
figroll · 26/04/2006 12:29

born

My dd is fussy, my dh is fussy and my mil is fussy. Three generations of fussy eaters. It improves as we grow older because other pressures are brought to bear, such as starvation on that school camping trip. However, my dh won't eat things that have certain colours, my mil won't allow foods to touch other foods on her plate. My dd is a bit of a pain, but she knows what she like and eats well. She found chewing hard as a baby and didn't chew properly until 18 months - not a medical condition, just a preference. By the way, my other dd is the opposite - eats anything including the sand in the sandpit - a bit like me (except I don't have a penchant for sand).

There is light at the end of the tunnel - it is just that the tunnel is rather long.

joelalie · 26/04/2006 13:22

Made. And I say that as the mother of 3 kids who are sometime fussy and sometimes not. The reason I think that they are made that way is that all my children ate anything and everything until they were about 4 or 5 yrs old - incl mussels and cockles. We try not to pander to silly fads but sometimes it's the best thing - DD doesn't like rice for eg which is fine as I can do pasta or mashed spuds for her - DS#1 doesn't like mayo or cream or any fish - DS#2 eats most things/nothing at all depending on his mood.

But as they eat some veg, plenty of fruit, some healthy carbs and enjoy meat and cheese I don't think I can really complain. And I continue to offer the same as DH and I eat and generally over time they slowly widen their food horizons.

I think that starting school/nursery can cause children to restrict what they are eating - 'euchh... you don't eat that do you' - wholemeal bread is 'gay' (apparently Shock) - other kids with nothing but packaged processed foods in their lunch boxes. I did notice a marked reduction in what they would eat after starting school but it slowly improved over the next few years. However I have known fussy parents who (surprise, surprise) end up with fussy kids - my bil being a case in point and him and his son are a right pita to feed. If you live with people who are pernickety about what they eat it has to rub off.

Karmamother · 26/04/2006 22:03

Shock at figroll! Do your DH & MIL have OCD, by any chance? Smile

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 27/04/2006 08:16

pmsl @ hunker and the lack of tastebuds! Grin

I think born. I don't see how being constantly given a wide variety of foods is going to change if you like the taste/feel of it. No matter how many times I'm given bloody cous cous it isn't going to feel any better in my mouth!!!

You know as an adult, some things you like, some things you don't, and some things you just don't fancy that day. Also your tastebuds change as you get older - I remember suddenly liking sprouts and curry once I hit puberty! Just keep offering things and live as normal. As long as they aren't wasting away most children will cope with not eating a full meal every day Wink

kipperkeen · 27/04/2006 08:40

Hi, This is my 1st post so forgive me if I mess it up!
I always thought fussy kids were created by pandering parents as my ex-DH was terrible and his mother used to cook separately for him and his twin. Now that I have re-married and have DS and DD I realise that one day they like something and the next day they dont! It drives me mad!

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 27/04/2006 08:47

Born - I have a mix of the two, although there are outside influences.

Often the problem is with textures, and sometimes the problem can be aquired.

DS1 ate everything as a baby, and was weaned with all the advice in mind- he ate a wide variety of foods, of all different textures. Then he got ill and began to regress in lots of areas, including eating. Within a few weeks (literally) he had gone from eating everything to eating very few foods, within 4 months of being ill he was eating only bread and cheerios (and I mean only). He expanded it for a short time and would eat dry foods like fishfingers and chips, but the evil nursery he was at put paid to that by shouting at him for not using a knife and fork when he was under 2 and all those fods went overnight. He'd also drink smoothies, until he caught a sickness bug the night he'd had one and they went to so we were back to bread and dry cheerios.

He was put on a gluten free diet and then for years he would eat gluten free bread, gluten free cheese and tomato pizza and buckwheat pancakes.That was all. We hid cheese in pancakes. We had occasional surfacing of foods, so he would eat apples - 5 a day if he could get to them, for about 9 months, then they went and now he shudders if an apple goes near him. Lots of work later he would eat yoghurt.

When he started his special school a year and a bit ago they started working on his eating, and after a year have him eating all sorts (bolognaise, curry, roast dinner). BUT it took a year, and 9 times out of 10 it has to be eaten in the form of crisp sandwiches- so half a crisp broken in 2 and the target food put between the crisps. The next stage is to wean off the crisps of course, and we'll get there slowly.

DS2 is not by nature a fussy eater, although he has grown up around ds1's easting disorder (and it was a disorder), and that has definitely had an effect. Peer pressure helps, as do favourite TV programmes.

DS3 is trying to get fussy- he is useless with solids, gags all the time (he's 15 months by the way), and definitely has issues with textures. I try to keep him being fed a wide range of food and textures so that we don't narrow down, but it's hard when a lot of food instantly results in him brining up his entire meal. For him its not a taste issue, its a texture one.

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 27/04/2006 08:53

ONe problem with tackling ds1's eating was that is required 1:1. At special school the teachers don't seem to get a lunch break so his teacher spent the year with him working on feeding him these different foods and patiently trying the crisp sandwich approach. I have to emphasise it took a year of that approach. His teacher has said he wishes he'd recorded it on time lapse to see the change from such small beginnings.

I have got it working at home, but really need 2 adults at mealtimes, one to feed the baby and look after ds2, and one to follow ds1 around and bring him back to the table (or not if its a day that's not going to happen), and hand feed him the food in crisp sandwiches.

cataloguequeen · 27/04/2006 08:56

I was a very fussy eater from birth still can't stomach most red meat(apart from mince & burgers-worst bits I know!!)..or boiled eggs ...condiments..custard(yuk) plus more..

but there are things I eat that my sisters never would like stilton ,mushrooms and advocado I think it's a combination

I do thank my mother for not forcing the issue..Smile

With my own children I hid my food fussing and encouraged them to try any and everything they both eat most things (love chilli like us!) and love both strong and mild flavours strangely enough they both don't like fresh tomato like me I didn't force them because they eat other fresh veg.

My dh wasn't a fussy eater but before meeting me didn't eat advocado or mushrooms.. he says sometimes it's the manner in which something is cooked or presented that makes the difference.

HunKeRMunKeR · 27/04/2006 09:01

Yes, def agree re texture. I mean. Mushrooms. How is it ever nice to put something in your mouth that feels so gross?!

morningpaper · 27/04/2006 09:06

Oooh no. 1 is fussy but I have just started my second baby on solids and the difference is amazing.

I can't believe it - she eats what I present to her; opens her mouth, I put spoon in, she eats it and smiles. Whereas with dd1, she would bat the spoon away, spit it out, refuse to be fed, right from the very start.

In two weeks of eating solids she has eaten more fruit and veg than dd1 has in her entire life.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 27/04/2006 09:09

Made (maybe lol)

Ds1 not fussy

Ds2 fussy - and pampered too as he used to have the most major tantrums about it. Still (at 14) won't even try new stuff and likes to sit in the same place and have a certain food on a certain day (although this doesn't happen anymore, he would prefer it that way)

Dd - ng fed for a year, reflux (not a physical cause as such - due to tube), oral aversion, barely any solids til 18 months, went through a phase of only eating beige food, now has a diet of about 12 foods (mainly healthy thank god), can spot fruit at 50 paces......

Bozza · 27/04/2006 09:10

DH and I both adore mushrooms!

Jimjams - DS1's teacher sounds great. It must be such a relief that he is settled in somewhere that is suitable for his needs.

Joelalie - interesting what you say about peer pressure. That is part of the reason I keep DS on dinners. Or he would be trying to be picky about his lunch box. "Why can't I hvae...", "X always has..." etc.

katzg · 27/04/2006 09:10

before i had DD2 i would have said made but now i have one a fussy eater that is i know they are born!

tortoiseshell · 27/04/2006 09:16

Definitely born, and I think anyone who thinks made hasn't experienced a TRULY fussy eater.

I have two extremes in my children - ds eats a HIGHLY restrictive diet and dd will eat anything that is put in front of her. Ds at 4.10 has just started eating fish fingers, cold sausages and shepherds pie. Before this he would ONLY eat cereal, bread, occasionally cheese, milk, peas and pasta. He won't eat yoghurt, or petit filous, is tremendously fussy about what biscuits/chocolate he eats (and I don't tend to give them to him anyway because I don't want him filling up on these). He will occasionally eat fruit now, and is getting much better about things like mashed potato. Won't eat any sort of egg or anything like that.

Dd will literally eat anything. She loves curry, asparagus, salad, all types of meat, devours fruit. I have done nothing different with her to with ds.

I've come up with a couple of reasons for why they're so different.

i) Robert Winston talked about 'super tasters' and I think ds may taste things really strongly (like hunker said about tastebuds) - if I hide something, say in shepherds pie, he says 'it smells horrid' and won't eat it - e.g. pureed cauliflower in the potato on the top. He often complains about the 'smell' of something and sometimes has to sit at the other end of the table if we are eating bolognese sauce or something so he 'can't smell it'. Dd has been known to eat green chillis without blinking, so I think children MUST taste things at different strengths.

ii) he finds textures difficult, and although he has been known to try meat, it either makes him gag and be sick (and as a newborn he was a very fussy 'eater' - was a nightmare to b/feed, and was frequently very sick) or he will keep it in his mouth for up to 2 hours, unable to swallow it.

iii) ds is much more 'hyper' than dd - she has very good concentration and will sit and finish her meal. Ds wants to be 'on with the next thing' and as soon as the edge is off his appetite he's off. We are strict about leaving the table, and he doesn't come back, but he will eat a few mouthfuls of something he likes and then go.

Reading this back, it's very long (sorry) and doesn't reflect that ds is loads better than he was, within a restrictive diet - he is expanding his diet slowly. He also gets quite anxious about things, so we have been careful not to make meals an anxious time, but I don't see that we could have done anything different. I know people say 'no child will starve themselves' but I think ds would - he is naturally thin and has had periods of near emaciation, because he doesn't recognise the 'hunger' signs - like dh he just gets really grumpy and then doesn't want to eat, because he is too grumpy.

So I would say born!

morningpaper · 27/04/2006 09:18

interesting tortoiseshell

and I agree

I actually feel really sorry for dd1 when she really WANTS to join in eating with her friends i.e. eating raisins or sweets and she starts gagging and retching. Makes me Sad

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 27/04/2006 09:25

Tortoiseshell - that's interesting about 'super tasters'. I mentioned dd eats no fruit and she can spot it hidden - banana in the most choclatey banana bread for example. She too complains about smells.

Bozza · 27/04/2006 09:27

tortoiseshell that is very interesting about not recognising the signs of hunger. My DS is like that still even though he is now 5. When he was younger he would be an absolute nightmare if he got too hungry because he would be so cross and grumpy we couldn't get food into him yet knew it was the only way to alleviate the situation. Yet he is not a fussy eater at all and was quite a chubby toddler. He is still the same and never asks for food (unless he is passing a sweet shop or hears the ice cream van Grin).

DD OTOH is nearly two and for ages has gone into the kitchen and got out a cup or a plate if she is thirsty or hungry. Now she is more verbal she will ask for milk or juice or cheese or whatever.

Seashells · 27/04/2006 09:29

Totally agree with tortoiseshell.

We have ds who has always been really fussy, and dd who will eat anything at all! ds is very sensitive and even the smallest things like the texture of foods or colours can make a massive difference to what he will eat.

And with regards to the BF/FF issue, ds was BF and dd FF, so the opposite of what those theories suggest.

blueneon · 27/04/2006 09:31

I dont think BF has anything to do with it, as all 3 of mine were BFed, and are now totally different in their likes for food. My eldest (now 16yrs) eats anything good and bad, same as my youngest(3yrs)with her if its edible she will eat it, even likes sprouts, but my 5yr old will not touch anything I put in front of him. He was okay when younger until he got to about 18months old, then just turned off food compeletey. I was lucky if he ate just a biscuit, but I preserved and he now will eat a little more, but not any veggies or fruit. Just keep introducing foods presented in different ways, he may nibble at some things but not much.

acnebride · 27/04/2006 09:34

a lot of born and some made - different types

a lot of children seem to not see the point of food pretty much right from the beginning. a friend of mine thinks it's related to cord problems due to her daughter apparently living on air

a lot of children as far as I can see suddenly realise there is loads of parent-tormenting fun to be had by being fussy, around 18 months to 2.5 or whenever

ds is in the latter category and i do make him worse but am getting off lightly