Hi everyone, I will have a catch up read tomorrow but for now I want a rant...
Firstly, I am being stubborn with Baby's name. I am being unreasonable, but I can't give my child a name that I do not love. Ex and I can not agree on any names. My chosen name, unknown to me until recently, is his brother's actual name but he uses another (so in effect, doesn't use my name) which is the same as the 2nd in line to the throne
As a compromise I have said that the middle name can be Ex's name (Ex originally wanted baby to have his name, which would mean Grandad (deceased), dad and son all with the same name). I said no. It is a boring name (no offence) and not a baby name.
Then I decided to look at other potential names. I chose two - one he ish likes, the other he doesn't.
For his choice of names we have Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
Aside from the ridiculousness of the biblical reference when he is a non-church goer!....
Matthew - no, it is a nice name but just not for my son.
Mark - his best friend's name (who I have never met) and just NO.
Luke - NO, it is not 1983.
John - see above about Grandad, Dad, Son sharing same name.
So there is no hope of compromise, this discussion has gone on, unresolved since I was 8 weeks pg.
Mum also brought it up earlier and SIL stuck her opinion in too, basically I am a cowbag and I am evil because he is such a nice man and this is his first child and I have already ripped open his heart and trampled all over it by dumping him they didn't say this last bit but it is constantly there, hanging in the back of everything my mum has to say where he is involved
I have this evening, in a light hearted way (after he brought it up) said that after months of sickness, sore boobs, back ache, waddling, endless Dr appointments and facing either a painful natural birth or major abdominal surgery followed by breast feeding and endless sleepless nights - I will be getting my own way.
Not that it will make me agree to any of his names, but give it to me straight - am I being an utter bitch? I am feeling very weepy this evening after it all but I can't just hand over the naming of my son, my last child, to him. I imagine, where we madly in love or in a committed relationship, my feelings would be different.
Then I have a school mum calling about another school mum and their current war that my daughter has (is always) caught up in the middle of. I feel for her, I can see it is shite and it does need sorting BUT I normally am in bed for 9pm and this evening am still awake at gone 10pm as I am so fucking wound up.
Boy is giving me lovely kicks this evening which are making me smile, but ultimately I am feeling pretty shit.
I know this isn't anything big in the grand scale of things but thank you for listening to my rants.