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Original poster

I am fed up of being made to feel like a bad mother...

383 replies

fedupofgoody2shoes · 24/10/2005 16:00

on MN. Most of the time I oove it but recently there have been far too many gasps and rolling eyes (well if we could see each others eyes that is).

Yes - I breastfed and will do again
I use disposable nappies
I used a mixture of homemade food and jars when weaning
I have a freezer with readymeals in it as well as home made meals
My kids have crisps and biscuits

I will never use washable nappies (I have a life)
I will never breastfeed and my bottle fed kids are healthier than some kids I know who were breastfed until they were 2.5. My kids have no allergies at all and that includes ezcema, asthma etc.

Please - give us mums who choose alternative ways a break and stop all this goody 2 shoes attitude with people. there is no need to look down your noses. Not everyone has time to spend washing nappies and cooking all day. Some of us have full time jobs, school runs, house to keep, dancing and swimming lessons, and some people don't take to breastfeeding. If powder milk was so bad they wouldn't sell it!

Please stop making people feel so judged (not all of MN is like this but there are a select few!)

OP posts:
Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:34

Spider-You never told me how we are going to identify each other at the big meet-fancy catting me a few days before and we will have a swifty before and swap no's?

(Sorry for hijack-I hate sanctimonios mums too but I wouldn't let them get to me-I'd just get pissed and tell them to eff off!!)

Pruni · 25/10/2005 21:35

Message withdrawn

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:35

sm - there have been threads like that, but it hasn't been so bad recently. everyone knows to tiptoe round that kind of topic.

for your reference, the big row topics are:

breatfeeding
natural birth
gina ford.

I think that's it. oddly the smoking threads never do that.

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:35

Hunkers-care to join us for an orange juice??

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:36

Only because there isn't a pro-smoking thread yet!

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:36

right pruni.

think I did let this thread wind me up more than was strictly necessary. it was the "pc types" comment that did it.

spidermama · 25/10/2005 21:36

Fair point HMC. I genuinely feel, on the whole, this is respected.

Apart from a few notable exceptions, things rarely get personal and people do seem to post supportively.

Or am I being niave?

Or sumg.

handlemecarefully · 25/10/2005 21:37

So erm...nobody remembers a mumsnetter comparing giving formula milk to a baby with wilfully putting your child at risk, i.e. not securing your child in an infant car sea? That one - quite rightly had Gdg and I think Blossomhill, apoplectic

Oh and hunker, you're right, I do remember that appalling observation about breastfeeding older babies and toddlers as being on a par with child abuse!

Pruni · 25/10/2005 21:38

Message withdrawn

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:39

oh, I thought you meant the comment about bottle feeding being child abuse. see? it's all flooding back now.

handlemecarefully · 25/10/2005 21:39

Wasn't responding to you there Spidermama - posts crossed. This thread is moving fast...

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:40

..none of it is recent though is it?

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:40

Perhaps a new word for "the accepted release of PC tension2??

QueenVictoria · 25/10/2005 21:40

There has been a slightly heated smoking thread in the last few days.................

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:41

I have avoided it.

Pruni · 25/10/2005 21:41

Message withdrawn

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:42

What/where/when? Have hardly been on here-link please??

spidermama · 25/10/2005 21:42

Get stuck in dropinthe.

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:43

S-answer my Q!!! Fancy a meet before the big one??

QueenVictoria · 25/10/2005 21:43

i couldnt quite manage to keep away here

handlemecarefully · 25/10/2005 21:43

Well Senora - the thread about leaving your kids in the car whilst popping into shops or garage etc was recent, and there were a couple of very sanctimonious comments on there....(although, only a couple of posts were like that I guess

spidermama · 25/10/2005 21:45

Alas drop can't meet before, but need to be able to pick you out. CAT me nearer the time so we can organiser how.

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:46

Hmmmmm-maybe I will die my hair pink so everyone will know me!!

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:47

ah, hmc. I wasn't counting that due to the sanctimonious posters clearly being a bit loopy.

NotQuiteCockney · 25/10/2005 21:47

(I'm going to regret this, but here I go ....)

Someone did compare choosing to bottlefeed with putting your child in a car without a carseat. They said, in both cases, you're doing something that isn't advised, statistically. It's not guaranteed to have a bad effect. It's just not advised.

But because choosing to bottlefeed is any mum's right (and of course some women try their best to breastfeed and don't manage it, or can't breastfeed for other reasons), while not using a car seat is considered completely beyond the pale (even though I see people doing it every day!), the original point was lost.

Nobody said: Bottlefeeding is just like putting your child in the car without a car seat. It was a more subtle point than that.

(Ok, now I'm going off to regret this.)

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