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Original poster

I am fed up of being made to feel like a bad mother...

383 replies

fedupofgoody2shoes · 24/10/2005 16:00

on MN. Most of the time I oove it but recently there have been far too many gasps and rolling eyes (well if we could see each others eyes that is).

Yes - I breastfed and will do again
I use disposable nappies
I used a mixture of homemade food and jars when weaning
I have a freezer with readymeals in it as well as home made meals
My kids have crisps and biscuits

I will never use washable nappies (I have a life)
I will never breastfeed and my bottle fed kids are healthier than some kids I know who were breastfed until they were 2.5. My kids have no allergies at all and that includes ezcema, asthma etc.

Please - give us mums who choose alternative ways a break and stop all this goody 2 shoes attitude with people. there is no need to look down your noses. Not everyone has time to spend washing nappies and cooking all day. Some of us have full time jobs, school runs, house to keep, dancing and swimming lessons, and some people don't take to breastfeeding. If powder milk was so bad they wouldn't sell it!

Please stop making people feel so judged (not all of MN is like this but there are a select few!)

OP posts:
hunkerpumpkin · 25/10/2005 21:14

PMSL SP - obviously I'm not very polite

Pruni · 25/10/2005 21:16

Message withdrawn

bosscat · 25/10/2005 21:17

Logic, what a horrible thing to say. I can't see at all where spidermama is making a reference to you. Why have you taken it so personally and become so vitriolic, unless of course its you who isn't happy with her choices.

moondog · 25/10/2005 21:19

Oh Gawd,now we have to take responsibility for 'setting off' someone's PND (which is fast becoming the ADHD of the noughties)!

Giime a break Pruni.

And who ever said anything like the commments you cite. I refuse to believe it.

Happylocketsthesmiler · 25/10/2005 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SenoraPostrophe · 25/10/2005 21:20

pruni - I refer you to the first post, which does mention breastfeeding but also goes on about lost of other far less potentially upsetting things.

I agree for the most part with sm. some people do seem to object to the very discussion of such lifestyle choices.

logic · 25/10/2005 21:21

shrug maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not. I can only judge people from what they say about and to me.
People in glass houses moondog...

Time to walk away from this thread I think.

hunkerpumpkin · 25/10/2005 21:21

Pruni, I agree with you - bfeeding threads and birth threads do have a tendency to kick off spectacularly - largely because women often feel out of control about those two things in particular.

And Logic, where was SM talking about you? I've looked and can't see.

moondog · 25/10/2005 21:22

Que??
Spell it out logic.
I can take it.

hunkerpumpkin · 25/10/2005 21:23

However, I have also seen breastfeeding past a certain age likened to child abuse - remember that corker?

Pruni · 25/10/2005 21:23

Message withdrawn

QueenVictoria · 25/10/2005 21:24

Quick hijack - how you doing hunker? feeling better?

spidermama · 25/10/2005 21:24

Thanks Moondog. You're my bessie mate.

Sorry to disappoint you logic but I don't feel my parenting skills are lacking. Perhaps I should. It would certainly make me more popular with people like yourself and many others in RL and on MN.

I would never claim to be perfect, but I'm genuinely happy with my choices and if I weren't I'd change them.

I'm more true to myself on MN. In RL I don't usually talk about my home births, gorgeous organic food or washable nappies unless I know for sure I'm talking to someone with similar views. People think it smug.

It's a sad fact that you can't seem to be happy and popular in this country.

moondog · 25/10/2005 21:24

I never denied the reality of PND...

hunkerpumpkin · 25/10/2005 21:27

Hey, QV, feeling a bit better - going to bed soon. Took half an hour to walk half a mile this evening - bit stuck between a rock and a hard place though

Thank you for asking xxx

Pruni · 25/10/2005 21:28

Message withdrawn

hunkerpumpkin · 25/10/2005 21:29

It's incredible that getting milk into a child can be such an emotive subject, isn't it?!

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:32

Haven't got an opinion-just wanted to say "Hi" to Hunkers and Spidermama!

bosscat · 25/10/2005 21:32

actually think of the titania threads. now there is someone who was not able to withstand the temperature of the comments thrown her way. there are people on here who are extremely vulnerable. should we really not be aware of that?

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:32

Haven't got an opinion-just wanted to say "Hi" to Hunkers and Spidermama!

spidermama · 25/10/2005 21:32

I haven't been mn-ing for long (about 5 months) but I can honestly say I've never seen comments like 'You could have had a natural birth if you'd wanted it enough' or 'Women who don't breastfeed just didn't really try hard enough.'

spidermama · 25/10/2005 21:32

Wotcha dropinthe.

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:32

Can't say I have either!

hunkerpumpkin · 25/10/2005 21:33

I've seen 'em, SM

And just realised I've been MNing a year this month - ooh.

Hiya DIT - long time no chat

handlemecarefully · 25/10/2005 21:34

Pruni - you've articulated very well what I was too spent and knackered to put into words earlier.

It's a harsh world if we can't accept that just because we are 'sorted', okay with our self esteem and mentally / emotionally / psychologically robust that others are much more vulnerable and sensitive to direct criticism / careless remarks. And I too have seen plenty of these on MN....