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Flouncers' corner
Original poster

Some posters are more equal on here than others...

113 replies

poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:06

And I'm not one of them.

Yesterday I posted a problem that was virtually identical to another posters problem. While she got support and bumlicky pukey love, I got vilified and told I was desperate etc.

I've got the hump.

So I'm offski (until I come back with my tail between my legs.)Or not.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 25/02/2011 20:42

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belledechocchipcookie · 25/02/2011 20:43

People are being honest with you. There's no need to throw a wobbly because you don't like what people are saying.

scaredoflove · 25/02/2011 20:45

You are never going to see that this way is not the best the way re your child

One month in and your child is upset that he wasn't paying attention, you were jealous about him talking too an old friend and you felt he was too intense.

He has settled himself in to your home and your family, he doesn't sound like good news

Get past some of the rudeness/straight talking and see what everyone has been saying - everyone said the same thing! That's got to count for something

winnybella · 25/02/2011 20:48

IIRC there you posted lots and lots about wanting to meet a man, obsessing about one guy after another that you met on dating sites.

People recall all that and when you post yet another thread and you obsess about some guy that you met 4 weeks ago and he's already (seemingly) a part of your daughter's life...well, it does smack of desperation.

BUT.

I believe most people have been kind to you-or harsh in order to be kind- not to criticise you for the sake of it.

No need to get all upset.

BooyFuckingHoo · 25/02/2011 20:54

just read first page of other thread.

the responses you got were accurate. you are not going to accept it because you choose not to but people are telling you the truth.

notnowbernard · 25/02/2011 20:55

To answer thread title: sounds a bit childish, tbh

If what's on an internet forum bothers you that much, get off it and on to another one (or RL even)

kerrymumbles · 25/02/2011 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FourFortyFour · 25/02/2011 20:56

I mean this kindly - maybe your dd has got so attached to your boyfriend BECAUSE her biological dads walked out on her and she wants a dad.

FuppyGish · 25/02/2011 21:00

yes you're right psm we're all happily married or non monogamous or man haters Hmm

actually my marriage broke down 5 years ago. I dated, away from my dd. He came round once she was in bed. He met her after 6 months when I knew (as much as anyone can) that it was a long term relationship.

god help your daughter.

and maybe rather than thinking we're all wrong, you could ask yourself why you're getting a fairly unanimous response? Why do you think that might be?

LibraPoppyGirl · 25/02/2011 21:01

@ poshsinglemum I was on my own with DS from when he was 3 months old. He's 13 now and I've been with my DP for under a year (known him 25 years though).

DS and I went through all sorts of situations in this game called life. I can't even begin to explain some of the turmoil we have had to face. Whatever the reason for what can sometimes be a rollercoaster, the emotions we experience throughout life, whether we are young or old, are what make us who we are.

One thing though that has always remained constant in his life is ME.

You are your DD's rock. You are the one she relies on, no matter what you both journey through, she will always have you and as long as you remain the rock that she has always known, you can't go wrong.

I'm not going into all the details on here of the long and hard road my DS and I have travelled but he has turned out to be a well adjusted young man. He is amazing, loving and kind and we are the best of friends as well Mum and Son. My DS knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am and always will be his number one strength and I am confident that your DD will also know this of you.

You live your life OP, love your DD as you always have and always will and don't let anyone sitting in judgement on you get you down.

LadyBlaBlah · 25/02/2011 21:06

Wow - you are all being really judgemental and harsh. I don't quite see what PSM has done to deserve this sort of slating.

BooyFuckingHoo · 25/02/2011 21:08

actually i think her DD got so attatched because PSM allowed them to. ok so the first meeting was an accident, that doesn't mean they have to keep on meeting and bonding. no way would i let my child bond with an adult i had known 28 days. FFS.

paulapantsdown · 25/02/2011 21:15

no one called you a crap mum - you came on asking for advice as to whether to dump this guy - when EVERYONE who took the time out of their day to reply told to yes, be very careful ... you replied that they were all wrong and you were going to stay with him anyway!

don't ask for honest advice if you don't want to hear it - grow up and don't flounce off Smile

TheSecondComing · 25/02/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 21:22

I am being careful. We are going to see less of each other; that's the deal. I am definately holding back. But I do care about him and want to give it a go. It's not easy to dump someone you fancy, care about and get on with well. I was jealous because of his close female friend but she's going back to Spain next week anyway. My insecurity. I am going to be careful re this.

I used to work and live in Spain; I love the Spanish culture and people and he's in love with England too. we like the same things and there is something I want to explore. Plus I fancy him. The way he is with my dd made me like him so much in the first place. He's intelligent

He isn't a cock lodger. he used my internet (which he apologised for yesterday btw) but he buys food, cooks it (he's a chef), cleans the kitchen and helps me if he sees me struggling. He has made me very happy and the one time we had a barmy it was a mutual cock up.

Who knows; I might be back on here in a few weeks in tears but I want to give it a go. It's not desperation; it's wanting to make a go of it with a man I really like and wanting to deal with insecurities etc rather than give up at the first hurdle.

Anyway; mabe I'm wrong but that's me.

OP posts:
BooyFuckingHoo · 25/02/2011 21:29

there is nothing wrong with wanting to carry on seeing him and exploring this, but date him, dont move him in FGS. regardless of how good the sex is, your DD comes first and letting her bond with someone you don't even know and who stands a pretty high likelyhood of not hanging about is not in her best interests. regardless of how good he is with her or how nice he seems, you don't know him, don't let him affect your most precious posession just for a few months of good shagging.

FuppyGish · 25/02/2011 21:51

Its not that you shouldnt give it a go with him, it sounds good, maybe it could turn into a long term relationship who knows, hopefully it will.

That's not the problem, its the fact that you've allowed your dd to get close to him when you've only known him 28 days.

Carry on your relationship but just keep it away from your dd.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 26/02/2011 08:16

Sorry girls but I'm not going to take relationship advice from people who are quick to brand me as a desperate loon. How can I possibly? That is laughable. BTW; the first person to label me as desperate dosn't believe in monogamy and thinks whoever gets jealous is a twat.

For the record; another posted how she was trying to finish it with her new man. She stated that in a space of a few months her kids had grown very close to him. Did she get a pasting? No. Just lots of support and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Hence my flounce.

If I do return I shall be avoiding the relationship board liek the palgue. Mumsnet is really about cyber relations and should be taken with a pinch of salt.

OP posts:
BooyFuckingHoo · 26/02/2011 10:03

ok but why not take the advice from those of us that didn't call you a desperate loon?

BooyFuckingHoo · 26/02/2011 10:05

the anser is simple BTW: you just don't want to take the advice regardless of whether it is spot on. your good shagging is more appealing to you at the minute than employing some sense and making a responsible decision. HTH. Smile

TheSecondComing · 26/02/2011 10:05

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KazBarTFG · 26/02/2011 10:20

wow - i had heard of this but this is really the first example i have actually seen...

problem posted on MN.
good advice given (among some harsh comments - perhaps including mine) but all in all the advice was the same and perfectly justified IMO.
OP decides to 'flounce' becaue she didn't like the response.

OP - What I find amusing is that you are now defending this guy (and yourself). As if you are blaming MN for attacking you out the blue!!! Newsflash - you brought this to our attention mate.

A word of advice poshsinglemum, next time you decide to post about this stormy relationship, take a minute or two to count to ten, have a coffee and think about it....it seems you were merely using this site to vent your anger and put your thoughts out there and not interested in the slightest what other people said.

Perhaps pen and paper the next time eh?

Good Luck with your endeavours

GypsyMoth · 26/02/2011 10:27

That kind of thread is what gives us lone parents such a bad name!
Great!

FourFortyFour · 26/02/2011 10:32

Hardly. Hmm