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Original poster

Some posters are more equal on here than others...

113 replies

poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:06

And I'm not one of them.

Yesterday I posted a problem that was virtually identical to another posters problem. While she got support and bumlicky pukey love, I got vilified and told I was desperate etc.

I've got the hump.

So I'm offski (until I come back with my tail between my legs.)Or not.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 25/02/2011 20:08

oh, it's a pisser when that happens, and happen it does.

go have a mn break, come back when you need it. Smile

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2011 20:09

That's awful. Post links to the threads. People should be shamed when they do that.

Wankers.

southeastastra · 25/02/2011 20:21

mn is like that, don't flounce Grin it's not worth it - have some Wine

CaptainNancy · 25/02/2011 20:23

I didn't see the other thread psm, but I do think you need to take some of the advice given out on your thread.
Some of the answers were very harsh though.
Take a break, namechange, plunge back in.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 25/02/2011 20:25

Agree with CaptainNancy. Haven't seen another thread.

FuppyGish · 25/02/2011 20:25

Didn't see the other thread but the advice given on your thread was heartfelt and people took the time to give it. At least they care about your dd.

"While she got support and bumlicky pukey love, I got vilified and told I was desperate etc".

How old are you? Jesus.

FourFortyFour · 25/02/2011 20:27

No, just some people assume that others are more equal.

The advice you were given is commonly known as being cruel to be kind.

southeastastra · 25/02/2011 20:30

blimey just read the other thread, harsh - but don't really know your history

earwicga · 25/02/2011 20:30

Haven't seen the thread, but you often reject advice on your threads, so I imagine those posting also know that.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:30

Well I'm still seeing him. Mabe I'm crazy but weve sorted things out. It's a new relationship. We both have been hurt in the past few years so we are both insecure. We are testing the waters. I don't think that my dd will be scared for life because there's a man in her life who buys her presents and comes to the park with us; even if it dosn't last. He's not beating me.
I don't think I'm a bad mum for welcoming someone who accepts me as a package and wants to do family stuff rather than ignoring my dd. But then I'm not miss perfect middle class Boden mum. I am fed up with the sheer middle class ''this IS THE RIGHT way to be a mum''twatery tbh. And then I get lectured on a monogamous relationship by a non-monogamist. sheeesh.

may return when feeling better.

OP posts:
scaredoflove · 25/02/2011 20:32

I think I saw the other thread, yes similar but also very different

Other thread had seen someone for a few months and her child had spent 'some' time with him, yours is one month and your child is so attached already, she was upset that he wouldn't hug her. The difference is huge

The other thread also had someone who was totally ready to dump him, yours didn't come across that way tbh

People were helpful and they all felt that you had rushed this man into your family at great speed and that isn't healthy for your child

The two threads really were different

earwicga · 25/02/2011 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:35

Plenty of mums on here put up with far worse from their men on this site and don't get accused of being bad mums. He has been fantastic with d; far better than her dad. In one month he ignored her only once but only to answer a message from a friend who turned down the meal he had planned for us all. And yesterday he came back, apologised and acknowledged he was in the wrong.

If I thought my dd was in danger no way would I dtae him. He's Spanish. they love family and are full on. What I needed was someone to tell me how to handle my insecurity (which I admitted) and instaed I get called a crap mum.

OP posts:
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

belledechocchipcookie · 25/02/2011 20:36

I read your thread posh, I'm sorry that you were offended but I agree with them. I've seen a fair few of your threads, mostly you post about your need to be in a relationship and your ex. People have been nice to you about this but it doesn't sink in. I'm a single mother and I know how difficult it is, I've been single for years because I do not agree with men coming into my son's life, then leaving when things don't work out. I think it's unfair on children to do this. I have dated when he's been at his fathers/nursery so he's never had to meet. The way you raise your child is down to you but you did start the thread dear.

earwicga · 25/02/2011 20:36
Biscuit

Bye.

southeastastra · 25/02/2011 20:37

maybe avoid discussing relationships on here, earwicga's reply is pretty harsh

FourFortyFour · 25/02/2011 20:37

But it didn't read as you asking for advice on dealing with insecurities. You said you didn't want to finish with him but had too.

BooyFuckingHoo · 25/02/2011 20:37

it's life. some people are more popular than others.

scaredoflove · 25/02/2011 20:37

You still can't see what the problem is - you don't need to rush this man into your child's life

I have been single for nearly 12 years, I've had a number of short term boyfriends but my children haven't met any of them and none of them have stayed in my house later than 5am unless it is a weekend where my family is at Dads

Only now they are adult, do they know I go on dates and if it wasn't for the fact that they are now awake later than me, they still wouldn't know my business

This isn't a middle class way of doing things, this is a responsible way to do things. This relationship may not last (it's very early days, so more likely to fail than not) your child does not need a procession of new men in and out of her life

Date away from her, wait until she is in bed and kick him out before she wakes up

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:38

Errr; she's not that attached. She dosn't pine for him. She loves his company if he's here and she's got plenty of other poeple in her life who she dotes on and loves. It's not like her REAL dad just upped and left.

When he's not here, she's quite happy too.

OP posts:
earwicga · 25/02/2011 20:38

It is SEA, but tbh I don't get myself into stupid relationships just because I'm single BECAUSE I am a mother to two children who would be affected by that. And I've read a fair few posts by PSM.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:38

We waited till she was in bed then she woke up and met him accidentally. Sorry; done.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 25/02/2011 20:40

I haven't seen the other thread, but it sounds a little different. Maybe posters were reacting to the way you sometimes post at other times- ie sounding a bit needy and wanting male approval, possibly to the detriment of common sense?

Dittany made a good point on your thread that you might need to stay, so people can sometimes give you a reality check. And she definitely made that point in kindness, so you weren't universally flamed.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 25/02/2011 20:40

Anyway. I'm obviously onto a loosing battle here so I'll leave the oracle of parenthood and personal relationships that is mumsnet for a time to dwell on my blatant inadequacies.

All my rl friends think it's a positive that he gets on with dd

OP posts: