Transwoman on women's ward

[Sallycinnamum]

Had a minor gynae procedure today but nevertheless was very anxious leading up to it.

Was wheeled back to the day ward to be greeted quite literally (started waving at me) by a transwoman in the bed opposite me.

There was no doubt he was a man and being completely immobile due to a spinal anaesthetic with no underwear on I asked the nurse to completely close the curtains so he couldn't look directly at me.

Spoke to a nurse who confirmed it wasn't a mixed ward.

I am so upset. I felt so vulnerable especially as I couldn't walk so had to pee into a bedpan in clear earshot of him.

I've emailed PALS but I feel so bloody fed up of it all. Had a man next to me in the M&S lingerie changing rooms a few weeks ago and was made to feel like a total bigot when I complained to the staff.

Something that is interesting is that the TRA on the thread haven't responded to my posts in which I lay out simplistic definitions of what a woman is and why it is important for females to have single sex spaces.

"Just because a trans person doesn't have surgery, doesn't make them any less trans."

True enough, but do you know what "trans" means?

It means "being of the opposite sex to the sex with which one claims to identify", which does indeed not change whether or not they've had surgery.

You can't be a "trans woman" unless you are male - it's an essential part of the definition.

The health system has a responsibility to keep males out of female single-sex wards, whatever "certificates" they may brandish.

I’m sorry you felt that way, I would have too. The feeling we have to be grateful for any care is awful, but I get it.

This question has made me wonder. As a female, if I asked for a female chaperone to be present in an examination, could potentially a transgender woman (ie male) fill that role?

I tried to do a google search more for the OP's situation but then realised all the top results (albeit the AI results") lean towards NHS inclusivity of transgender people, whether patients or staff.

But then this result below worried me for female NHS staff. A transgender female asks for a female chaperone when he is actually a man....

Sorry thought I posted a link but it didn't work. I paste the text below which came from a google search.

• Gender Identity:
• For transgender individuals, the NHS generally recognizes the patient's self-identified gender, unless there is a specific reason to do otherwise, such as a medical professional being advised otherwise by the patient.
• Intimate Examinations:
• If a transgender woman requests a female chaperone for an intimate examination, this request should be granted.
• Formal vs. Informal Chaperones:
• A formal chaperone is a trained member of staff, while an informal chaperone can be a trusted friend or family member.

He waved to you from opposite bed, OP? I'm trying to imagine a woman doing that but no, all I keep getting is images of Jack Lemon as Daphne in 'Some Like it Hot'.

It's not about 'transwomen', @ninjahamster . It's about MALES.

I'm not sure you understand what a transwoman actually is. They are males with penis and testicles. Just FYI.

As a rape survivor, yes, I fear any male, regardless if they're in a dress, or in a suit and tie.

There is already a case of a woman being raped by a transwoman in hospital and the hospital gaslit her called her a liar and denied it happened, because they said no "men" were on the ward. This male, raped her with his penis. And the hospital denied it until CCTV footage proved it happened. Here is an article on it. https://archive.md/HWi5u

Also, in excess of 5000 sexual assaults of women have happened in mixed sex words over several years.

Females and males should be separated based on sex (not 'identity' feelings) for not just safety, but for dignity and privacy.

Oh goody; gaslighting by a misogynist bigoted source. Lies, gaslighting and misinformation.

Male crimes are being listed as by a woman. Thereby artificially inflating female crime statistics and making out there has been a sharp spike in rapes by women.

If you seriously think we don't know a MALE when we see one, you're deeply delusional. None of them pass. Not one of them. You must think we're BLIND!

And yes, RAPE SURVIVORS like me are afraid of fully intact males. Regardless of if that male is in a dress, or in a suit and tie.

You're wearing friend goggles there. Trust me we'd know. There has yet to be one that actually truly passes.

No one changes sex. He is a male with a COCK AND BALLSACK.

He is not a woman.

And I'd like to refer you to the Supreme Court ruling. He is not just biologically, but legally a male and so has NO....RIGHT being in a female vulnerable safe single sex space. Stop being misogynistic and disrespectful of the needs and rights of vulnerable women and girls on that ward, many of them would be rape survivors.

@bigfacthunter so if you’d never know your friend was trans, how do you know? Are you saying you can tell?

Thank you for saying this. I was adopted and also suffered sexual abuse as a child. This paired with being autistic means that being put with a man when vulnerable is hugely traumatic.

If I was sick or mentally unwell and there was a trans identifying male there, I would be terrified and would likely try and leave the hospital without receiving care.

I wouldn't say anything though because I would be scared of the confrontation. I have experienced enough angry men in my life who used their size and strength to dominate.

Allowing trans identifying males into women's vulnerable spaces is so dangerous for many of us. It would stop us seeking medical care or other forms of needed help.

It's nice that some women have never experienced trauma (not that you need a "good" reason not to want to share with men) but they can't speak for all of us.

And surely those of us with very strong feelings on the matter should be listened to more than those "who just don't care".

It makes me so angry that some women don't even consider WHY another women would find it scary and uncomfortable to share a ward, prison cell, bathroom etc with a man.

Statistically trans identifying males commit sexual offences at a higher rate than men. And men account for 97% of all sexual and violent crimes.

The risk is absolutely there.

Saying they are a woman doesn't automatically remove all risk and make them harmless.

It's so strange, some women act like trans identifying males have been chemically castrated from the second they "come out". Like it's impossible for them to act in line with their biology because they say a few words.

@FlexiLime The person you replied to is on our side. They were admonishing a TRA. Read the post (and previous post from TRA) again.

You are deeply, DEEPLY ill-informed. He is male. He has MALE DNA and MALE chromosomes. You cannot change your sex. 'Gender identity', maybe. But not your SEX. His sex is MALE and he has a cock and balls. He is male in every single way. And it's clear you haven't heard of AGP males. You are very extraordinarily naive.

This is not about 'trans', this is about MALE and FEMALE. And he, with his male chromosomes and male penis and testicles, is a male. Stop being so misogynistic or a handmaiden wanting a male in female only safe single sex spaces. They aren't going to thank you for being a pick me girl on your knees for them while throwing the female sex under the bus.

Facepalm - yes, we can. There are numerous tells. It's hardwired into the female sex to spot a male for our survival.

@Jewel52 Why do you assume they go through any effort at all? You seem ill-informed. Most don't do anything. Less than 8% have any operations. The most any do is stick on some lippy and put a dress on....oooohhhh how TRAUMATIC!

A male putting on a dress is zero effort at all.

That's another thing that bothers me about this movement . Pigtails and pinafores are nothing for little girls. It makes it seem paedophilia -adjacent almost? Very creepy.

This is what so many TRAs are missing. This is a safeguarding issue for us women, so many of us have been SA'd, or other kinds of abuse from men. A transwoman isn't going to get PTSD from being told they can't go on a ladies ward. It's not remotely equivalent. This is what grinds my gears. These people get to claim oppression without having lived it. They have no idea.

@CareerChange24 was talking what I’d class as girl talk. He was there for laser hair removal for his journey to transition. I left feeling sorry for him, he was making a real effort to feel included in a predominantly women’s only space

No he was engaging in what he 'thought' was 'girl talk' as a part of a fetish. If it was a women's only space, then he was already tresspassing on womens boundaries without any thought for how rape survivors or trauma survivors there there might feel.

but it’s made me think I need to be more open and not see trans people as a threat.

You've been brainwashed sadly. It should have made you feel angry that a male was violating a female space, when he could have gone to a male place to have the laser. You should see all males as a possible threat. This was a male violating a women only space. Which makes him automatically a threat, right off the bat. Please wake up.

You really don't get it. You really don't. It's about MALES. Not 'trans' people. Males.

I find it baffling that some people don’t see men masquerading as women in women’s only spaces as a potential threat to women.

The problem with all this, is we (as women) are supposed to be accepting of it — and anything else is seen as regressive, transphobic, terf etc.

In all of this, the very population (a majority I might add) are losing their voices and being demonised for having their own wants and needs.

Are you allergic to punctuation? It's quite ironic that you can't even write a correct and coherent sentence when condescending to people or telling them to "educate themselves."

It's my experience that being able to call out bullshit and identify gaslighting time wasters does, in fact, make for a happier and more fulfilling life.

Oh god that’s terrible, awful, horrible.
I’m a rape survivor.
I thought this was a conspiracy theory.
Could you please give me some more information about what happened?
Thank you.