Slurs for female - disrespect from DS and wider family don't beleive in misogyny

[LaDuel]

DS calling me a Karen, cunt, a "lonely old woman" (I'm a solo parent) and telling me to shut the fuck up. That no one likes me in the family (dsis and BIL) because I'm sexist and crazy!! (Im a feminist). This all come from with ignoring perfectly reasonable boundaries and DS trying to silence me with the above!

I said to DS that he must be mindful of listening to others (eg. BIL and nephew, online) saying such things and that as a family we shouldn't and don't share those sort of values. My dsis is submissive and does not beleive in misogyny, she thinks it's woke ideology.

Don't mean to drip feed, but there's more to add.

How old is he?

Omg. How awful OP.

Son (16) says the same. It's awful how rampant misogyny is. I'm also a single mum although he doesn't live with me currently

I'm not sure how old yours is but please make it clear to him that he's abusing you.

OP this is awful, what content is he listening to? What are his friends like?

He's just turned 13.

How horrible.

What’s the consequence for speaking to you like that? Because anyone who spoke to me that way would not, for example, continue to have me pay for their phone.

My son's behaviour started around that age too. You really have to nip it in the bud. No technology, counselling (can be faith based if you're religious but not necessary), having frank discussions with him, finding some positive male role model outside of family if he's not respecting family ect. He'll absolutely play the victim at first but that should weaken the barriers

I guarantee that it's coming from social media..the biggest mistake I made was restricting his Internet access and then allowing it again.

What’s the context? Grumpy teenagers tend to do offensive name calling as a way to hurt and shock when arguing with a parent. It’s also a distraction technique in that you get so focussed on what did you call me, that you forget to hold firm on whatever their misbehaviour or latest demand is.

What are his consequences for speaking to you like that? I have a 13yo ds as a single parent and he has nothing but respect for females.

Let’s not conflate disrespect for your mum with disrespect for all women. That’s a bit of a stretch to be honest.

I would metaphorically kick his arse. That needs shutting down big time, what punishments are going to happen?

SMH. If he's disrespecting his mother to that extent then he's not respecting women.

I think that’s ridiculous, you can disrespect one female individual in an argument without it being made out like you’re a misogynist. I mean, how many of us argued with our dads and mums as teens and called them names? Didn’t mean we hated all humanity.

Teens haven’t learnt how to argue fairly and respectfully..,hell most adults sink to name calling when they argue. So it’s a massive overreaction to call a 13yo a misogynist for arguing with his mum imho.

It's not a reach in the current climate I asked the OP what content he was watching what are his friends like as young boys are absorbing misogynistic content a lot which is causing this behaviour not sulky teens like in the past.

I agree.

I make sure to have regular conversations with my teen son about misogyny and Tate and the like. Along with chats about consent, how to speak with people online, pictures etc.

Maybe watch that netflix show with him and open the conversation.

Sorry, I think it is a remote possibility. Most teens argue with their mother and it’s got nothing to do with misogyny and everything to do with the usual teen behaviour of pushing boundaries as they seek growing independence and autonomy.

100% on the show adolescence

I was strongly considering watching it with my own son. A few parents in my circle have watched it with their teen sons and it's benefitted them via open discussion

He's using sexist language, he's not using gender neutral terms to dish out abuse. That is deliberate or influenced.

Cunt is gender neutral in the UK.

What was the argument about that led to him telling you to fuck off and that no one likes you?

How does your sister and her family fit into all of this?

Why are you clutching at straws @SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice

Where is his dad and how did he speak to you? What was his early childhood like ? Does he have good male role models in his life?

Why are you? Toddlers know how to gender language, so it’s not some sinister thing that a 13yo used appropriately gendered and gender neutral insults.

I'd be seriously tempted to tan his arse. Corporal punishment is not illegal in England and Scotland.

You need to take away any access to social media and gaming he currently has. Take away his phone. Sell any gaming equipment he has.

Make him do his own laundry.
Make him cook.
Make him clean the bathroom.

Stop making gentle suggestions to him about the wider family's attitudes. Distance yourself from them.

Do you live in a cave on a remote island?