Gisele Pelicot - how can we thank her

[Princessfluffy]

I'd like to express my personal gratitude to Gisele Pelicot but I don't know how to.

Can anyone suggest a way to do this?

I wouldn't do that. God knows the woman has been through hell and back.

I think the best thing every woman can do for Gisele is to hope that she is able to find peace and live a quiet life away from the spotlight.

I also believe she should be awarded The National Order of the Legion of Honour, the highest decoration in France, for her courage.

If I was Gisele Pelicot I think right now I would want peace and quiet and to try to process everything I'd just been through. I suspect since this began she's barely had the headspace to begin to work through her feelings about what's happened to her, and now she has the trauma of the trial and her feelings about verdicts etc.

I agree with the PPs, even though I'm sure you mean well OP I really think that this lady needs to be left alone now.

She looked exhausted yesterday reading her statement and when she had to be escorted through that mass crowd of cheering supporters she didn't seem like she wanted any of them there, no waving or smiling at the masses. I think she'd have preferred that none of them were there and she could have walked out quietly and gone home.

She strikes me as someone who may well want to use the horrific position she's been put in to public good use in future with a charity startup or something and that may be the time to do try and reach out to her.
But for now let's just all let her be.

She did speak for a minute yesterday and said she didn't regret going ahead with courtcase at all. But she did look tired and I feel so sorry for her daughter Caroline who didn't get a satisfactory answer).

To thank her let's try to address male violence/rape (I started another thread asking how)

Kindly, you might want to express your personal gratitude, but you have to consider whether she wants to receive personal gratitude from likely thousands and thousands of individual women that she doesn't know.
She chose to be publicly known during this trial, but it was really Hobson's Choice, and she certainly didn't choose to be the victim in the first place.
The best thing you can do to show gratitude is to put that out into the world. Raise your sons to be decent men, to understand consent, to understand healthy relationships, to respect others. Raise your daughters to understand healthy boundaries, to respect themselves, and to understand that if something happens to them there is no blame or shame on them and they should always come forward to report it. Be a supportive family member and friend, don't judge anyone for being a victim.

@Princessfluffy

Could you write an article or a blog post where you share your thoughts and honour her? Or create a piece of art - or embroidery and have it shown in a small gallery or something?

Thank you @Adatewithmyself, I'm an artist so I absolutely can produce some artwork relating to this.

I'm not sure why so many posters are convinced that GP does not want to hear any thank you messages of support and gratitude as the interviews I have seen with her representative suggested that whilst not expecting it, she did appreciate public support. I was thinking of posting a short message on a notice board not asking for acknowledgment or reply, and she could read it whenever or choose not to. I don't see the harm in that 🤷‍♀️

I think she has expressed that she was grateful for the support of others during the trial, but the trial is now over and unless and until she chooses to e.g. start a nonprofit or do public speaking about the issue, she deserves the chance to rest and process. Being called a hero and thanked is nice and all but it's also a heavy burden.

Unfortunately, the trial may not be over. At least 2 of the men are appealing, and there's still time for more to do so. So she may have to go through it all again.

But she's earned a rest and I suspect would appreciate some time out of the public gaze and attention. I think the best we can do to honour her is to campaign - for better laws, better policing, better help for victims.

Honour her by a donation of few £ to a charity helping woman abused by men. I did that. She is a brave Lady.

That's a great idea @MumChp

I don't get how "keep your thanks to yourself" is a reasonable response to my post. Are these posters men?!!!

I don't get how "keep your thanks to yourself" is a reasonable response to my post. Are these posters men

You think replies must be from men because they think a woman thrust into the spotlight for being the victim of unimaginable crime should be left alone?
Should all women agree with each other all the time?

I don't think saying a heartfelt thank you is harassment like other posters seem to think

Maybe I just posted on the wrong board

This is my suggestion as well. I'm donating to our local rape crisis center.

I think the best thing we can do to show support for Gisele is to leave her, and her family, alone to process their trauma, and try to move on with their lives. She's grateful of the support shown to her during trial, that doesn't mean she wants thousands of strangers to reach out and contact her. I imagine she has a lot of trauma to process and shes not interested in being in the public eye. I don't think performative gratitude is at all appropriate. As others have said, donate to a rape crisis centre or a local women's aid charity if you want to do something meaningful.

I don't think performative gratitude is at all appropriate.

I agree. You can express your thanks in so many ways. Posting a message is one of the most meaningless suggestions on the thread I think.

I can understand those people who stood outside the court to support her as that was probably needed in that moment but the trial is over for the moment.

I also agree with the PPs that the best thing to do would be to donate to a women’s charity to honour her and hopefully she and her daughter and daughters in law can find some peace and space to basically process everything.

Yes x100000 to this. Rape crisis centres and the work they do is incredible and changes lives every day

Sometimes this place is really weird. I thought your original sentiment perfectly fine. You weren't suggesting harassing her.

I watched the Newsnight interview with her lawyer on youtube and he said she was very touched and appreciated support from so many people.

I had wanted to write her a very brief message of support, so I found his address.

I started a thread with that info, in chat, earlier today, checked with mn first and they said go ahead.

I was very keen for it not to be attention seeking for me, just to bring it to the attention of any one who might want it.
I think I may have underplayed it too much!

It's such a very sensitive situation, and I take the point that she might just want to be left alone. But I also think that the end of the trial might be a sort of anti climax for her, a bit like a funeral can be for someone bereaved.

I will be writing to her tomorrow, a very short message expressing support and admiration.
After reading comments on this thread, I will include a message to the lawyer saying only forward this when she is ready.
It might be enough now for him to tell her he is still getting messages for her and she might choose not to see them now.

That's fine.
I have been so moved by the way she has dealt with this situation, I can't not do anything.

Sorry, talking rubbish!

Thread with address is in 90 Days.

@BewitchedBotheredandBewildered
Thank you so much

@User820825 performative gratitude means doing something so that others can see you have done it. That is very evidently not what I'm doing, the only person who will know I have thanked GP will be her and since I'm not using my full name and address even she won't know who I am.

So clearly not performative.

To all posters who have shitted on me, confident that they know what GP would want me to do, and also confident that I seek to act insensitively and inappropriately, please check your own egos.

I can send a short message of gratitude and support, I'm not seeking a response and it is GP's choice whether to read it. That's not being performative or insensitive. Dissuading me from doing it, that's another matter and it's controlling behaviour that seeks to shame. I'm calling it.