Gisele Pelicot - how can we thank her

[Princessfluffy]

I'd like to express my personal gratitude to Gisele Pelicot but I don't know how to.

Can anyone suggest a way to do this?

@LittleHangleton you raise some interesting points.

I'd suggest maybe starting a new thread on a different board as this one seems quite toxic.

This is a good idea. Also the pp idea to send a message via her lawyer which GP can choose to read, or not, in her own time.

OP I think you are getting some unnecessary shit off some posters. I think to pass your thoughts and admirations via a third party GP trusts and she can choose to look at them or not, is a non intrusive way.

@tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz thank you

I don't think anyone has said they are confident what she wants. I think some of us might be telling you our own experience of trying to heal after trial or criminal proceedings. I think others are sharing their knowledge of trauma. I don't think anyone is saying that they know and I haven't seen anyone say that they do. I do wonder why this is such a challenging discussion for you though.

@leia24 maybe go back and re read the thread. I've been accused of performative gratitude, trying to make it all about me, being self absorbed and running a crusade, trying to insert myself into the story, forcing GP to engage with me.

Now you have said "I wonder why this is such a challenging discussion for you" which is both minimising and dismissive.

Did you? Every reply you've posted here and been passive aggressive just because the vast majority of women don't think it's a good idea to attempt to contact a rape victim.

There is a huge difference between "trying to contact a rape victim" and sending a message of support which GP can choose to read or not to read.

GP is a lot more than "a rape victim".

I don't think you should contact GP personally or through her lawyer at this stage. Perhaps if she had spoken out about wanting to campaign etc but she's just been through a trial. It feels a bit intrusive and for your benefit rather than hers. I would suggest donating to rape crisis or a french equivalent with a note to say 'with thanks to Gisele Pelicot'. They can collate messages.

To you she may represent more than that but you have no idea how she sees herself or wishes to live going forwards. I don't think you're grasping what people are saying.

@klimtchakra I do question your understanding of the terms "performative gratitude" and "passive aggressive"

She didn't choose to be in this position and that's the whole point. She may be grateful for messages, she may find them intrusive. There are ways to pay tribute without risking the latter.

Interestimg statement- what exactly do you mean by that?

She did choose to go public and she has expressed gratitude for the support shown to her by members of the public.

She said that she has drawn great strength from public support.

No, this is definitely pushing all kinds of things for you, and you are either unaware or too defensive. No one in the replies has been rude or dismissive of you but you appear to want to take responses as an attack on you.

So you're wanting to thank her because she went public?

She chose to waive her anonymity and have the trial in public, yes. Which was a decision of extraordinary courage. But she has not chosen to set herself up as a public figure. She has not started a foundation or taken speaking engagements. She chose to make a specific event - the trial - public. Beyond that, she is a private citizen.

I didnt want to bite but I think I'm going to. Could you share your grading system for rape victims?
I think what Gisele Pelicot has been through is nothing short of horrific and she deserves all of the care and support in the world. I don't think that anyone else who has experienced rape deserves less than that. I think that Gisele Pelicots story has captured international media attention because it is so horrifying- I also think there's an element of 'ideal victim' but this isn't the place, and I would never want to take away from the bravery and strength Gisele Pelicot has shown.
I don't think that GP is 'more than' my teenage girls in work who have been trafficked and raped, or more than the little girls I see who have been raped by relatives, or more than the women I see who are carrying a lifetime of trauma from being raped and sexually abused by men they loved or by strangers who followed them home.

I still don't understand how you are going to post a message in a notice board. Where are you going to post it?

I'm sorry the thread has gone so wonky. I think I understand where you're coming from @Princessfluffy. She's so much on my mind too, and I too hope she knows how much she means to so many. It's hard with so much international news to feel so much about an aspect of news, but to be so far away that we can't have a more meaningful connection to the event. So we're left with feelings that don't have a natural outlet.

I think I’ll donate (inspired by this thread) to the Centre for Women’s Justice, which I know helped another MN to successfully challenge her police force’s decision not to take her rape case forward.

www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/

What sort of meaningful connection are you looking for and why?

Poor woman just needs a break from it all in leave and quiet

So make a donation to a rape charity and mark it as a tribute to Gisele Pelicot. As keeps being suggested. It's not all about your feelings.

GP is not responsible for being an outlet for those.

She waived responsibility and expressed gratitude for support during the trial. But did not ask to be in the position of requiring a trial.

She may or may not be grateful for further messages. But people are suggesting she may wish for a break from all of this. A

tactful, constructive and safe way to do express support is to donate as above. What's the issue with this? Why must the OP feel she's got closer somehow? It's really not about our feelings.

@Princessfluffy
I'd suggest maybe starting a new thread on a different board as this one seems quite toxic
toxic shouldn't be your go to when people don't agree with you.
If you google, you'll find there is a huge outpouring of support across France with artwork/graffiti appearing in her honour.
Really no need for you to make it personal, smacks of these ppl who post on SM about giving a sandwich to a homeless person.