Gisele Pelicot - how can we thank her

[Princessfluffy]

I'd like to express my personal gratitude to Gisele Pelicot but I don't know how to.

Can anyone suggest a way to do this?

In the nicest possible way OP, this really isn’t about you.

I think the best way we can honour her is to be brave ourselves. We all hope we never find ourselves in that situation (and I just mean assault, sexual assault etc, not the severe atrocity she faced) but maybe if we all speak up, culture will change.

@PortiasBiscuit did you mean to be both patronising and passive aggressive? What are you even trying to say?

Well I felt the same impetus, OP. I appreciate the PPs idea of contacting her lawyer. Maybe she doesn't ever need to read the messages, but to know that women continue to send their esteem must be meaningful in some way?

Did posters who are confident that GP does not want any messages of support watch the Newsnight interview with her lawyer? It was this interview that prompted me to want to express my thanks directly to her. In the interview her lawyer speaks on her behalf and says a great deal about her thoughts, feelings and wishes.

@SleepDeprivedElf yes I think this too

She is not a performing seal it is not about you good grief

@Edingril since I am not asking anything of GP your performing seal comment is nonsensical - what are you trying to say?

That you sound self absorbed and are trying to turn something that has happened to someone nothing to do with you into your own crusade

What crusade? What are you talking about?

This is a lady in her 70s who has had her whole life and those of her children and likely grandchildren, dashed to pieces in the most brutal way imaginable. She has been unbelievably brave. She now needs time to come to terms with what has happened. She knows how grateful every right minded woman on the planet is for what she has done. She doesn’t need to know your name, you are a stranger to her, you have no business trying to insert yourself into this story.
Had you just asked the original question and taken the original responses then fine, but you seem determined to imply that this has touched you in some special way and the rest of us care less about this than you do, because we don’t want Gisele to see that we thank her personally. That’s what I mean..
Give to a woman’s charity, thank whatever you believe in that these things did not happen to you and pray that this poor lady is allowed in some way to find peace.

@PortiasBiscuit why say that I have implied "the rest of us care less about this than you do"?

That's just made up by you and frankly a weird thing to say.

I'm not trying to " insert myself into the story", again what a weird take.

*performative gratitude means doing something so that others can see you have done it. That is very evidently not what I'm doing, the only person who will know I have thanked GP will be her and since I'm not using my full name and address even she won't know who I am.

So clearly not performative.*

Oh I see. When you said that you were "thinking of posting a short message on a notice board not asking for acknowledgment or reply, and she could read it whenever or choose not to" I thought you meant an online message board not an actual physical message board.

I think you probably just need to forget this thread now, you are getting needlessly wound up. You asked a question, people answered, you don’t like the answer. I am sure you are a kind person who means well, why put yourself through this?

Stop trying to make it about you, jesus.

We thank her by leaving her alone and not forcing her to engage with anyone.

She has been strong throughout the trial but will now undoubtedly need time to process and react. The last thing she’ll need is to be put on an impossible pedestal where she is forced to act a certain way.

We also thank her by speaking up, loudly, whenever we see men treating women badly. Remember - the shame should the theirs!

@ClearFruit I'm not

Maybe stop trying to be anonymously unpleasant to other women on the internet

I'm very obviously not forcing her to engage, why would you say that?

You feel that you’d like to thank her personally. Most people on this thread feel that it would be best to leave her in peace and thank her by doing something tangible (such as donate to an appropriate charity or speak up when needed in the future)
your feelings of wanting to thank her personally are what you are focusing on right now. That’s what others posters mean by saying it’s not about you. Try and take your desire to thank her out of it and really focus on what might be best for GP. Your intentions are good but it does sound more what you want to do rather than what is best in the situation.
A donation to a charity sounds a brilliant idea. I shall be doing that today.

Is there a particular charity where donations could be made perhaps with a note saying something like 'in tribute to the bravery of Gisele Pelicot'?

This is what I’m going to do as well, supporting other women who have been victims of abuse feels like a very practical way to support what she has stood up for.

Her strength is an inspiration.

Or could a Just Giving be set up to go to a charity that supports women who have been sexually assaulted, and say it’s in her name - it may have already been done?

Which charity would be best to support? I could look into it, I think it could get a lot of support and do something practical to help others.

This is not about you

@Hermanfromguesswho I don't know what is best to do for GP, the point is I'm not trying to say that I do know.

Other posters including yourself seem very clear that they DO know what's best for her. That seems to me arrogant, patronising and egotistical. Allow her some agency FGS.

I've listened to the Newsnight interview where her lawyer speaks for her after the trial has ended and it's this that has made me want to express my thanks to her. Have you listened to this as it may change your point of view?

The interview made me think that she is very appreciative of the support she has received and has drawn strength from it.

Sending a message with no expectation of a response or even that she will necessarily choose to read it is something I hope will be supportive but at its worst is neutral. It is about me, yes. It's about me trying to appreciate and support and show solidarity with GP.

I'm just having a brain dump here and haven't thought-through or analysised my thoughts.

I too feel incredible gratitude towards the bravery towards Gisele Pelicot. Why don't/didn't I feel the same about Elisabeth Fritzl? The Fritzl case was one I was as horrified about as the Pelicot case, yet my overarching feelings towards Elisabeth Fritzl I would be honest as describing as pity and sadness - different sentiments than Gisele Pelicot.

This is almost certainly to do with a personal flaw in my psyche.

Is the bravery to do with us, the public, being part of justice? Is that the bravery or does the bravery come from what she went through and survived with dignity?