Anyone think we (women) get away with too much?

[ThatPinkHelper]

A few of us were having a chat over the weekend about our teenage years and the usual subjects came up, drinking on parks, staying out late, going places other than where we told our parents, older boys etc…

It was when the subject moved to older boys and the usual commentary around that, that one of us mentioned that she used to get taken out clubbing by 18 year old girls when she was 14.

The group was fairly split on whether it was that big of a deal. I was firmly in the camp of - “looking back on it that was very sketchy and I’d absolutely flip my lid if it was my daughter”.

But given the hugely contrasting reactions to boys sexually exploiting younger girls and older girls putting younger girls in very dangerous situations and environments, I began wondering if we sometimes get away with too much? Not as individuals but collectively as women.

I know it’s only theoretical but as I mentioned above, if my daughter was 14 and was being lead astray like that I’d go ballistic but I’m beginning to wonder if everyone around me would try to play it off as normal.

The boys were happy to letch over and more, to whatever younger girls were sent their way by the older girls?

I mean, it ain't great, exploiting each other, is it?

I have always taken responsibility for my own actions. So did my sisters, so does my adult daughter. So do my female colleagues.
So no, I don't think "women get away with too much".

What is it that you think we women are getting away with?

"harmful behaviours we perpetuate"
She says.

Still trying to work out what it is too much of that women get away with.

So garbled. Makes zero sense.

I think the OP is saying that older girls 'facilitating' younger girls to meet up with boys is as bad as the boys having sex with the younger girls? I deliberately haven't asked ages.

"To be fair a point that DH made was that he feels men don’t recognise sexual assault or imbalances of power perpetrated against them as readily as we do."

It would have been clearer to have opened with this.

Does your DH (and you?) feel that this was the case and is less so now, or that it was and still is the case? That women and girls essentially get away with sexually abusing boys because boys are taught to welcome that attention?

How do you feel that this idea fits in with current research and knowledge about perpetrators of sexual abuse against children?

I don’t understand why you’re all so desperate to turn this discussion on to men? There’s an entire statute book to police men. Society largely polices men.

why is it when I say maybe there’s an issue here it’s “what about the men”. It’s this exact thing I’m talking about.

I have no idea what's going on 😂

We don't understand what you are talking about. Could you say in one sentence what you think it is that women are getting away with?

OP it isn't clear, I know you're saying we don't understand but it isn't clear what you're saying to me at all

The research itself often acknowledges that there’s an acknowledgment gap. As DH said recently “do you think it’s just the teachers who are at it?”

Me neither. Someone asked half a question that made feck all sense and then others filled in the gaps and started argueing about what they thought was going on. None the wiser and going to I watch this thread now as it’s already doing my head in and not even that interesting.

OP. We are honestly not thickos, nor are we playing dumb and dumber. Genuinely don't get what you want us to understand.

I feel a bit eek actually, that you want to discuss something important but we have missed your point.

"do you think it's just the teachers who are at it?"
At what?
Does your husband realise how tight child protection and safeguarding procedures are with teaching staff nowadays?
Or does he mean something else?

Honestly OP, I can't connect some of your statements to the others in your posts. What relevance does the comment your DH made about teachers have to do with anything?

Does anyone think it's just teachers who include a subsection who are intent on harming children?? Abusers exist across all sections of society to a higher or lower degree.

Because you've used the term "too much", which implies there is a bench mark or comparative point which marks "normal".

You're either being intentionally awkward or are genuinely quite naive to think that this won't be the immediate and only comparison people will be able to draw on.

Still struggling to work out your point but is what you are trying to say that women are as much of a danger to the safety of younger girls as 'other beings' (which may or may not include men)?

I think (guess) op is talking about a case in the news of a female teacher getting pregnant by a teenage boy.

While that is obviously utterly unacceptable, it is very rare and "women" as a whole are not to blame for the actions of an extremely rare few.

Unfortunately, even among teachers, there have been many more cases of male teachers assaulting female teens.

Am I following you, op?

"society largely polices men"
What do you mean by that? Genuine question, because I really don't know.

Ps I'm a teacher myself. The vast vast majority of teachers, male and female, wouldn't dream of doing that.

I think op and dh have read that news story and then started making leaping conclusions about female teachers and women in general.

At worst, it's misogyny. At best, it's just a bit daft. Do you know how many hundreds of thousands of female teachers there are who don't sexually assault children?

Ah, is that what this is about?
The teacher and the male student?

I'm so confused.

What are women getting away with?

Why do you think that society only polices men?

Are you saying women can break the law, or that we are outside the law? All laws?

Is this because only men can be rapists, according to the legal definition?

I can't tell if you're an MRA or just not explaining yourself clearly.

When I was 14 going out to nightclubs drinking and getting up to all sorts with older boys, the older girls wanted nothing to do with my friends and I, or the boys their age to be honest. A friends older sister actively got us kicked out of nightclubs and bars if she saw us.