Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: chat

What's your title?

282 replies

LorlieS · 03/02/2024 21:59

I'm married.
I go by the title of Miss at work (primary teacher) and Ms everywhere else.
Hate it when people refer to me as Mrs S.
Nope - that's my mum!!!

OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 06/02/2024 16:29

Exactly @Corondel . How can choosing to use a title that's only reason for existing is to signify that you are married to (and in the old days, belonged to) a man be a feminist choice?

I've typed that out and realised that it's an outdated view of marriage that you would only be married to a man, and now I'm interested to know if any female couples change their titles to Mrs when they get married?

AgateQ · 06/02/2024 16:39

Strugglingtodomybest · 06/02/2024 16:29

Exactly @Corondel . How can choosing to use a title that's only reason for existing is to signify that you are married to (and in the old days, belonged to) a man be a feminist choice?

I've typed that out and realised that it's an outdated view of marriage that you would only be married to a man, and now I'm interested to know if any female couples change their titles to Mrs when they get married?

Because we can't apply the historical dynamics of marriage to modern day, so they don't hold the same meaning.

Strugglingtodomybest · 06/02/2024 16:57

AgateQ · 06/02/2024 16:39

Because we can't apply the historical dynamics of marriage to modern day, so they don't hold the same meaning.

I'm not applying the historical dynamics of marriage to modern day though? I'm sating that the only reason for the title Mrs to exist is to show that you are attached to a man. There is no equal title for a man. Why not?

AgateQ · 06/02/2024 17:19

Strugglingtodomybest · 06/02/2024 16:57

I'm not applying the historical dynamics of marriage to modern day though? I'm sating that the only reason for the title Mrs to exist is to show that you are attached to a man. There is no equal title for a man. Why not?

Because the inequalities of marriage in history.

greenbeansnspinach · 06/02/2024 19:09

LorlieS · 06/02/2024 13:21

@greenbeansnspinach Because the title of Dr does not suggest marital status.

But it suggests someone has got an extra degree and they are showing off about this, unnecessarily!

greenbeansnspinach · 06/02/2024 19:13

SpraggleWaggle · 06/02/2024 13:32

Dr usually. I don't really mind Mrs though.

PMSL at PP "having a little smile" at the title Dr. What on earth is that about?

Only because people with a normal doctorate, until quite recently, didn’t advertise it and it was usually seen as poor form to do so. Male or female. (UK)Things change and we all catch up at our own speeds, including the dis-use of the title Mrs. I will die a Mrs, and soon after I die so will the rest of the Mrs s and it won’t be a problem any more. Which is completely fine.

greenbeansnspinach · 06/02/2024 19:16

YetAnotherSpartacus · 06/02/2024 13:23

People can call themselves what they like, but I have had a little smile about people using the title “”Dr” so prolifically (recognising if they have a second degree they are entitled) - if people who aren’t medical doctors can call themselves Dr, why shouldn’t I call myself what I want to, and which is harming no one - “Mrs”?

’Doctor’ as a title existed before doctors of medicine claimed it as their title. And those of using it have the right to by the confer real of a degree - a significant achievement.

Call yourself Mrs if you like - no one is stopping you.

But why are we having this conversation if not to exchange and listen to each others’ views - politely?

DrSpartacular · 06/02/2024 19:23

greenbeansnspinach · 06/02/2024 19:13

Only because people with a normal doctorate, until quite recently, didn’t advertise it and it was usually seen as poor form to do so. Male or female. (UK)Things change and we all catch up at our own speeds, including the dis-use of the title Mrs. I will die a Mrs, and soon after I die so will the rest of the Mrs s and it won’t be a problem any more. Which is completely fine.

What's a 'normal doctorate'?

I'm quite new to the whole being a Dr thing but I'm also quite old and have never come across any disdain for using the Dr title, never heard it considered poor form. Most people seem to say 'you earned it, you use it'.

greenbeansnspinach · 06/02/2024 19:25

DrSpartacular · 06/02/2024 19:23

What's a 'normal doctorate'?

I'm quite new to the whole being a Dr thing but I'm also quite old and have never come across any disdain for using the Dr title, never heard it considered poor form. Most people seem to say 'you earned it, you use it'.

Absolutely no reason not to!

Toooldtoworry · 06/02/2024 19:28

Ms weirdly we were debating this today.

ErrolTheDragon · 06/02/2024 19:33

Only because people with a normal doctorate, until quite recently, didn’t advertise it and it was usually seen as poor form to do so.

Where on earth did you get that idea from?Confused To be sure, the advice was to never use it when booking travel but apart from that, in some fields it's entirely normal.

Merangh · 06/02/2024 19:52

What’s a normal doctorate? Surely there’s only one kind of doctorate?

Magpiecomplex · 06/02/2024 19:54

Another PhD Dr here. I much prefer having a completely gender neutral title that also doesn't give away my marital status.

Combusting · 06/02/2024 20:08

Merangh · 06/02/2024 19:52

What’s a normal doctorate? Surely there’s only one kind of doctorate?

Quite. “Dr” here with a PhD completed in 2011, and now “Professor” - I’m here to find out what a “normal doctorate” is. Clearly I haven’t got one I guess…

Appleofmyeye2023 · 06/02/2024 20:18

I’m 60. Worked in a male dominated industry though now retired. I learnt long ago the power of male authority

I use my initials only where possible. I’ll then use Ms when I have meeting with people face to face. and if I’m dealing with a company stupid enough to do the woke Mx, then yep ill use it as it gives me way more options for disguising I’m a women and all the shit that goes with it

it is very interesting that when I write official letters of complaint or on issues, or legal matters and sign off as A O myeye I’m always addressed back as Mr myeye . Funny that .

ive been in a very long running saga with local authority, a major company and a water company over last 3 years, I’ve exchanged around 100 pieces of correspondence now to resolve the issues. I was known by all these bodies as MR, until relatively recently when we finally met face to face. There was a long and rather uncomfortable pause as they reassessed their view of me turning up as a middle aged women. It’s done me no favours

the Brontë sisters were onto something. As was George Elliot . And now Robert gallbreith .
It was ever thus and sadly remains so now

one reason I refuse to engage in this pronoun pillock. I do not readily advertise I’m a women, it is not to my advantage.

so, none followed by Mx as drop down (hate it for what it was meant but useful- but would never use where not a drop down cos few man would ever use Mx so they’ll know it’s a women anyway ) and then Ms.

I was briefly Mrs. Then thought stuff that when people ignored me other than an appendage to my husband. Not Miss, that’s a young girls name and demeans an adult women . God knows why teachers put up with shit of beibg called miss nowadays. My mum was teacher - she was always Mrs surname.

I liked working in Georgia in USA- I was always called Mam to rhyme with pram. I think they though I was the queen with my accent 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/02/2024 20:19

Combusting · 06/02/2024 20:08

Quite. “Dr” here with a PhD completed in 2011, and now “Professor” - I’m here to find out what a “normal doctorate” is. Clearly I haven’t got one I guess…

Maybe there is a be-penised doctorate that warrants being called Dr and then there is the ordinary, not very impressive, 'normal' one that some women get notions about and call themselves Dr.

13Bastards · 06/02/2024 20:20

Was Ms the whole time I was married, is Ms now I am divorced. Will be Ms when I marry again.

LorlieS · 06/02/2024 20:32

@greenbeansnspinach An "extra degree" does not make one a Dr!!!! I've got two - nope, definitely not a Dr!
But if I was I would absolutely use my title.
It's not in any way indicative of marital status.

OP posts:
LorlieS · 06/02/2024 20:34

@Strugglingtodomybest I know a lesbian couple that married last year. They decided upon Mrs & Mrs.

OP posts:
OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 06/02/2024 20:48

LorlieS · 06/02/2024 20:32

@greenbeansnspinach An "extra degree" does not make one a Dr!!!! I've got two - nope, definitely not a Dr!
But if I was I would absolutely use my title.
It's not in any way indicative of marital status.

I know what a doctorate is, I was being flippant sorry. I do wonder why you started this thread, which I answered in complete honesty thinking it was a discussion not an argument about who is right. I wish people could exchange views and agree to have different opinions - I respect and understand yours.

LorlieS · 06/02/2024 20:55

@greenbeansnspinach It is a discussion absolutely but I do feel that there is an element of frustration that so many women think "Well I like being a Mrs, and it doesn't affect anyone else" and/or perhaps failing to understand the patriarchy behind the existence of the title.

OP posts:
Corondel · 06/02/2024 20:57

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/02/2024 20:19

Maybe there is a be-penised doctorate that warrants being called Dr and then there is the ordinary, not very impressive, 'normal' one that some women get notions about and call themselves Dr.

Whenever I use my title, despite being a mere woman, a penis just pops out, wearing a little doctoral hood.

Combusting · 06/02/2024 20:59

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/02/2024 20:19

Maybe there is a be-penised doctorate that warrants being called Dr and then there is the ordinary, not very impressive, 'normal' one that some women get notions about and call themselves Dr.

This made me laugh so much 😂- the “get notions about” especially

Combusting · 06/02/2024 20:59

Corondel · 06/02/2024 20:57

Whenever I use my title, despite being a mere woman, a penis just pops out, wearing a little doctoral hood.

i have guffawed at this 🤣