How do YOU challenge the patriarchy?

[LorlieS]

Personally speaking.

Examples for me include being a married Ms MyLastName, equal share of household chores and childcare with husband etc. Do these sound like silly and insignificant examples?

I suppose if more people challenged these "small" things it would make a big difference ultimately?

This. My son is testimony to my success. He champions women constantly and is held in high regard by women for that. It’s pretty obvious that he was raised by a feminist. Being a single mum helped.

I’m single and celibate, and won’t date/marry/have sex with men ( or anyone).

I’m childfree.

I don’t worry about beauty standards, I do wash and brush and wear clean clothes.
But I don’t worry about make-up or wear revealing clothes.

There are others things too, but they are peanuts compaired to what I listed.

Yes, that’ll show them. How on earth is that challenging the patriarchy?

I’m glad there are those of us thinking about and going against the insidious ideals of the patriarchy but it’s also depressing that “working/having a career” and “not marrying” are seen as a rebellion, they should just be normal!

I challenge stereotypes and sexism in everyday conversation

I am a married Ms and kept my surname

Our children will have both our surnames

I can support myself financially so am not dependent on my husband though happy to share expenses etc on a daily basis

I encourage other women to learn about finances and tell them what I know about pensions, investments etc

I will not do anything because it’s a tradition, only if I actually want to and consider how to make it less sexist in that case e.g marriage, child raising etc

I don't think that working or having a career is rebelling. But it IS challenging the patriarchy. Or perhaps a better way of putting it is "prioritising my career/my work". Because traditionally, in our patriarchal society, a woman's work has always been seen as "extra" and "less important". So consciously and specifically highlighting that it IS important, and AS important as a man's work is a way in which we challenge the patriarchy.

It's things like refusing to always be the default carer when a child is sick - because I'm prioritising my career in the same way as a man. Or refusing to accept the guilt because I can't attend that school event.

In a lot of ways, it occurs to me that a lot of these are just about women saying, "my wants and needs are equally valid" and THAT really is the biggest challenge to the patriarchy, which centres men's wants and needs.

Oh for sure, I don’t disagree with the sentiment at all. I meant more that it’s depressing that in this day and age we still have to actively do that rather than it being the default that women’s careers are of equal importance, and men do their share of parenting and domestic tasks. I’m very much a self-prioritiser and it’s great to hear of other women here doing the same, it’s just a shame that culture is taking so long to shift to it being the norm.

Every time people say to a group of people 'Guys'

I say I'm not a Guy.

Bro? How's bout 'Sis'

I work in a school. When I have to phone parents I phone the dad first. With often hilarious consequences I might add.

@helllooooo Shouldn't you be calling them by Order of Contact? For example, my husband is C1 as I'm a teacher so can't always be easy to get hold of.

It's things like refusing to always be the default carer when a child is sick - because I'm prioritising my career in the same way as a man

I'm refusing to be the default carer now. When my son is sick (which has been quite a few times in the last few months) 90% of the time my OH has been the one to stay home, even rearranging client meetings to do so, because I don't want to miss any days of my training. I've been at home up until now, allowing him to work no matter what happens with the children, so now its his turn (which, to be fair, he has been happy to do)

In my experience they usually ignore order of contact and contact mum first even though I've said not to contact me first, so its nice that someone is bucking that trend and contacting dad first.

If the school tried ringing DH to pick up a sick child he would question why they didn't try the actual Contact list... as he works a 5hr drive away and his work address is on the form!

But appreciate the sentiment there.

I had the same issue.

For a long time, my mum was the first to be contacted as she didn’t work so could get to DD the quickest and look after her. Now, it’s DH because he WFH and can be at the school in 10 minutes. For DD2, it’s my mum as she lives the closest to her pre-school. I used to be a teacher so couldn’t answer my phone or leave as easily. I now work out of 3 different offices and run groups and appointments that mean I can’t have my phone on me.

Luckily, both DDs’ schools follow the priority contact list.

I do a 'male' nob.

Typo of the year so far.

Oh ffs! 😂

How unfortunate that the 'j' and 'n' characters are right next to each other and I have fat fingers. 😳

The only thing where I think men might be able to help a bit is talking with men falling down the red-pill rabbit hole or falling into misguided misogyny. Aside from that (and not actively making things worse), perhaps stay out of the way?

😂

By refusing to buy into the denigration of nurturing and raising children, work largely done by women for millennia.

Was the term bush was coined by a man? It's (mainly) used to refer to women's pubic hair.

1. I got a degree in Mechanical Engineering and was only amongst the handful of girls to take up this course in my year.
2. I work in a very male dominated field and am often the only woman in my team or department at work, and I am talking about global corp offices in NY and London here.
3. I did not change my name after marriage.
4. I don't shave or wax my pubes.
5. I ensure that DH picks up an equal share of housework.
6. I am doing my best to make sure that we hire more women across levels and they get considered for promotion opportunities.
7. I am taking steps to ensure my boys don't get swept up in all the misogyny surrounding them on social media, peer pressure, attitudes across the wider family,

I don't subscribe to stereotypes about girls and boys. My son likes pink and has some pink clothes. He was taught it's OK for a boy to like dolls or a girl to like trains, no such thing as boys careers or girls careers. He's taught to respect girl's spaces and girls' need for privacy.

Choosing a husband who gets annoyed and corrects anyone referring to him parenting his own kids as "babysitting" the kids. Also having equal division of chores, knowledge of clubs, likes, dislikes, appointments, best friends etc. Whatever mum can do, dad can do just the same. And we raise our children with anti patriarchy values. My daughters and son are equals and know to stand up for themselves.

I did take DH's name though. I wanted the same as my kids and have no attachments to my father's family name.

By raising my daughters to not fall in to the traps, and take the kind of shit, that I have in my life. Seems to be working well so far.

Rather like a boiling frog, I only really became angry about lots of things in my history fairly recently. I’m 52 and I’m damned if I want my daughters to be in the same position I am in when they’re my age.