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Feminism: chat

I keep seeing this said online "Women live life on easy mode"

97 replies

dairysnow · 22/09/2023 10:30

I keep seeing this all over the internet men saying "women live life on easy / tutorial mode" That women cannot understand the pain and suffering that men go though and that we are always taken care of, never have to struggle. That we are effortlessly loved, adored and given support emotional (from other women usually) just because we are female, beautiful, can have babies.

I think a lot of this because some men think that women can find sexual partners easily or are more frequently desired and to them that is the number one desirable situation to be in ( am really not so sure they would be happy to put up with being groped and sexually harassed or threatened in the way that many women are). These men never seem to take into account the difficulties women face the world over and through time in a world that is designed for men medical drugs, car seat belts tailored to men for example, that at every turn seeks to remove women's agency from them i.e. removing removing of reproductive rights in the states for example. That we still don't get paid the same as men, the motherhood penalty, sexual harassment, assault, rape, violence and murder at the hands of men, often those men closest to us. Many women (not all of course) suffer terribly with conditions like PCOS, Endometriosis, menstrual migraines, the physical risks inherent in pregnancy and childbirth or that women while they go to see a GP more readily are less likely to have there concerns treated seriously or be brushed off as suffering depression and anxiety when they are actually ill or that conditions that predominately affect women attract less funding and research. The social conditioning that commonly women are subjected to from birth teaching us to be compliant people pleasers, not to make a fuss and essentially take all kinds of abuse in life.

One choice post I saw suggested that for a man being rejected by a woman was worse than rape, in fact I think he called it "reverse rape" and that women who were raped were lucky because at least someone wanted them and they got sex out of it and that they were probably asking for it anyway. I mean what? They take the attitude that everything that goes wrong for a woman in her fault but that everything that goes wrong for them is always someone else's, usually a woman's fault. For them a woman never has to worry because she just "is" while a man must worry about how he can be a man, worry if he will ever find a partner, have children, how he will support those children and so on. As if women don't also worry about all of those things and more.

It seems to me that the kind of men who would say something like "women live life on easy mode" have zero empathy for women as complex human beings with a wide range of lived experience and only have in their minds eye the most attractive, young, privileged women (who are still complex human beings who suffer and struggle like the rest of us). Ultimately a man who says or thinks "women live life on easy mode" does not see women as a being a human just like him, we are objects to him, with no inner life and no purpose beyond our perceived utility to him. A man like that is going to struggle to find any woman who will be interested in him precisely because he sees her as a mindless object. He cannot understand that women do support each other so well partly because of how difficult and unsafe our lives can be in a male dominated world.

Perhaps it has always been like this and we just see these comments more often because of the internet but I don't think things like access to limitless hardcore pornography online is helping much. Or the fact that these attitudes are spreading to young men before they have ever even had a relationship with a woman. Women seem to be increasingly rejecting relationships with men and it isn't hard to see why.

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HoneyBadgerMom · 26/09/2023 15:15

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:04

Ultimately if the shit hits the fan we are going to roll out the men. Men do the physically difficult jobs which build infrastructure and defend our society. Most women don’t want to work on oil rigs or be scaffolders.
Remember, we women demanded that we be equal to a man. But ultimately only we can bear children and nurse them so how can we ever be the same? I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that feminism has lead to the decline of the family.

🙄 Equality is a measure of value, not sameness. It's sad you believe that bearing children makes you a lesser life form. It doesn't.

It's also telling that you use this language: "Most women don't WANT." Most women may not want to do that. That isn't the same as "women should be kept as livestock because some women don't want to work hard."

HoneyBadgerMom · 26/09/2023 15:23

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 13:12

The decline of society or the decline in women not putting up with men and their shit?

I want more men to step up and be worthy of having a child with, and if more men did that, maybe they would have families and kids and not spend all their time on the internet moaning about how women live life on easy mode?

The #1 accusation that manosphere men make against "modern women" is that we refuse to take accountability. And yet, you are absolutely correct, those same men take ZERO ownership of their own actions and the result of them.

There are incels and "red pill" men because in the West today, women are not forced by society to marry in order to survive. A woman can make the choice to not marry men who will abuse her, cheat on her, or use her and treat her like a slave. Until the mid-1980s, a "good husband" was one who mostly held down a job and didn't put his wife in the hospital more than a couple of times a year. There was ZERO expectation that men should care about their wives or their families, beyond feeding, clothing and sheltering them, and in return, women were expected to grovel and beg and slave at his feet. THAT is what those men want: they want marriage to be about them, they want the woman to lose so they can feel superior and win. What woman with a choice would choose that?

There's a silly notion in red-pill that the absolute worst thing that can ever happen to a woman is that she is single. Men who stay single are awesome, but they view a woman alone as a danger (there is Biblical support for this as well). But women have discovered that holding down a job and paying bills isn't as hard as men said it was, and we can do that and at least most of what women used to do when they weren't allowed to work. And being alone is NOT worse than being made miserable by a man treating you like you're nothing but shit he has to scrape off the bottom of his shoe.

Those men do not want to be held accountable. They want absolute, unquestioned power and authority over women, and any mistakes that are made while they are "in charge" will be the fault of the woman. ZERO accountability for the man.

klhfd · 26/09/2023 15:29

Didn't read the whole post. But where are you reading this? This is the first time I've ever read anything like it, and you're seeing it everywhere?

HoneyBadgerMom · 26/09/2023 15:29

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:53

Women initiate the majority of divorces. So it’s not men breaking up the family. If you’re female and want to remain married you’re likely to be able to.

But why are they initiating the divorce? Men are fine having a wife, family and a few girlfriends. Men are fine having a live-in maid and nanny while they do exactly as they please, when they please, if they please, with no regard for women. Men are fine treating their home like a hotel with a personal slave and plan B for sex when their secretary is out of town or their girlfriend's mother is visiting. They don't want a divorce, they want to live as they please, as though they were single, and have ZERO responsibility.

It is a blatant lie that marriages end only because of women. Men are breaking up the family when they BREAK THEIR VOWS. These men are not all victims. Sure, some women marry for money, divorce for money, and marry again for money. Some men marry for a young body, cheat on her when she ages with another young body, and continue that until the woman gets enough of being humiliated and used.

Why do you believe that only women should have responsibility and accountability in marriage?

HoneyBadgerMom · 26/09/2023 15:34

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 14:29

You’re the exception so it proves nothing. A woman who is physically stronger than 3 men put together - as you suggest you are - is not the rule. Most physical jobs and most dangerous jobs are done by men.

Who is “we”? - women. We wanted equality and now we are allowed to do anything a man can do we are unhappier than ever.

No. No we absolutely are not.

Why do you view women being considered valuable members of society, equally as necessary and important as men, and equally deserving of respect, dignity and the right to make our own choices instead of having our lives planned for us by men, as such a bad thing?

If you don't want to be a grown up, you don't have to. You can live your life as a submissive and never make a single choice. That gilded cage is available to you and no one will stop you. Why do you insist that all women be caged, whether we want to or not?

RedToothBrush · 26/09/2023 15:37

In short, you've be reading self pitying incel crap.

It's men's rights bullshit misogynist nonsense for 2023.

klhfd · 26/09/2023 15:53

Ultimately if the shit hits the fan we are going to roll out the men.

What like we did during Covid? No females were involved in the development of the vaccine? Or the treatment methods? Or political administration? Nursing and medical care?

That's news to me. And Professor Dame Jenny Harries and Professor Dame Sarah Gilbert I imagine. Not to mention the millions of other women who were "rolled out".

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 15:57

Women in the past had one job-homemaker.

I wish someone had thought to tell my mother, grandmother, great grandmother etc this before they wasted all those decades of their lives in factories, mills, laundries, dairies, farms, hospitals, care homes, kitchens (as well as a fair few in less ... respectable... jobs)... all for money that most of them didn't have control of because they couldn't have bank accounts in their own name until the 1970s.

It would have saved them a lot of bother if they knew that all they needed to be doing was a bit of housework.

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 16:00

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 14:29

You’re the exception so it proves nothing. A woman who is physically stronger than 3 men put together - as you suggest you are - is not the rule. Most physical jobs and most dangerous jobs are done by men.

Who is “we”? - women. We wanted equality and now we are allowed to do anything a man can do we are unhappier than ever.

Hi.

I wasn't stronger. I was better.

I could do more with my time, with less mistakes and produce a better quality of work.

When I was off and the 3 grown men that supposedly took over my role, and a few months later they had to dig up the road that was laid on the days I was off, not only did it take 3 men to do the job, but they did it incorrectly, let quality slip and it all had to be redone.

And who says we are actually unhappier? I'm not.

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 16:03

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 15:57

Women in the past had one job-homemaker.

I wish someone had thought to tell my mother, grandmother, great grandmother etc this before they wasted all those decades of their lives in factories, mills, laundries, dairies, farms, hospitals, care homes, kitchens (as well as a fair few in less ... respectable... jobs)... all for money that most of them didn't have control of because they couldn't have bank accounts in their own name until the 1970s.

It would have saved them a lot of bother if they knew that all they needed to be doing was a bit of housework.

Mine were running the whole shebang whilst the men were literally all down the coal mines.

sadaboutmycat · 26/09/2023 16:07

InCel ideology that can be reported to Prevent.
This is dangerous misogyny.

namitynamechange · 26/09/2023 16:55

I will chip in to say that by the way men's inherent value doesn't come from the fact that they work down coal mines or die in battle. That's an incredibly bleak view of human value that both reduces everyone's humanity and in particular surely makes all the men that AREN'T physically labouring away or dying in the Ukraine (including the male visitors to this thread) more worthless than women. And basically means all of humanity can be replaced by machines as they can do it all better than us

You would have to really hate men to make that argument which makes it wierd that it's almost a given on these manosphere spaces. The misandry is coming from inside the house lads.

namitynamechange · 26/09/2023 17:04

Also most dangerous and physical jobs globally are not done by men. In fact some of the most dangerous and unpleasant jobs are done by children (both sexes). So I guess all of us (male and female) with the luxuory to post on internet forums are fortunate.

ReadtheReviews · 26/09/2023 17:09

Converse not conversate.
There is a weird thing in the USA where the dating culture is money focused and it's usual to expect gifts clothing jewellery etc from the man much more so than in the UK. This might account for the 'taken care of' aspect to this, which sounds very 1950s to our ears.

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 17:25

When I was young, the eldest of my great aunts came over from Ireland to stay with my mum and I for a while. The ROI had legalised divorce a few years prior and, at the age of 75, she wanted to divorce her husband. I was too young to understand much of it at the time but we remained close as I was growing up and I wrote about her life for a class history project when I was in secondary.

She'd lived her entire life in a tiny farming village (think farms, church, 1 shop, 2 pubs) in a dirt poor region of Ireland. She, her husband, and most of the people they knew eked a subsistence living out of poor soil and, pretty much without exception, all lead pretty tough lives. After working on her family's plot as a child, she married at 19, and worked with her new husband and his family on their farm, which was badly mismanaged by said husband. When she first suggested that they try different crops, her husband beat her around the head with a poker straight from the fire. She still had remnants of burn scars on the side of her face at 75.

Between the ages of 20 and 38, she had 10 children (7 lived to adulthood), along with 2 stillborns and several miscarriages. Each time, she continued working- herding livestock, tilling soil, lugging firewood and grain buckets of water uphill- until she was actually in labour and was usually back at work a week afterwards with a baby strapped to her.

She saw absolutely none of the little profit they managed to make - if there was ever any money, it went straight down the pub with her husband and his brothers. In later years, when it was clear that they were consistently failing to make a profit, she was allowed a little more say in how the farm was run- and finally managed to turn profits- and still saw none of the money. She got up in the morning before everyone else, started making breakfast for the household, fed the animals, fed the men of the house, washed and dressed the youngest children and gave them all breakfast, cleaned everything necessary, then started whatever work was needed on the farm, prepared lunch for the household, continued working on the farm. At some point, her husband would decide his work was done for the day and he - along with most men in the village - trooped off down the pub. My great aunt, along with other women, kept working usually until it was dark, then made dinner for their children, cleaned a house that was filthy from muddy boots tramping in and out all day, looked after however many children there were at that point, and then waited to see what sort of mood her husband would be in when he came home.

That was her life, with very little variety, for years. Things likely got easier as the children grew up, and in the 70s there was an injection of development funding into Gaeltacht regions from the EU, which would hopefully have helped a little, but life was never very good. She told me mum that she decided to leave after her brother in law - who'd been especially brutal towards his wife that eventually she barely spoke- died, and the men of the family - who knew the gist of how he'd been - only had good things to say about him. No one cared about the misery he made of his wife's entire life, and she knew the same would likely happen with her own husband and didn't think she could bear to see it. That, combined with the loss of her already shaky faith, made he leave in the end.

This is the halcyon days of a world without any recognition of a woman's individual rights or wants. Her life was hard, but not unusual. It was shared by almost every woman she lived alongside in her village, and in their predecessors. There are many women around the world today for which this is still a reality, but there are many who have been afforded so much more, and I think it's both ignorant and insulting to claim that feminism and the expansion of women's rights has somehow been a net evil.

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 17:27

Wow- that was much longer than I was intending.

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 17:47

On a brighter note, said great aunt is still alive and kicking at 98. In her own words, she did not leave her husband expecting to enjoy herself, just to get away from him, but the last 23 years of her life have been much happier than the first 75.

Abra1t · 26/09/2023 17:55

That’s an amazing story, @WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves

CherryMyBrandy · 26/09/2023 18:13

beastlyslumber · 23/09/2023 00:06

I think this is all bollocks. The only people who live life on "easy mode" are rich people.

And I think that being healthy and able bodied is also "easy mode" although it's probably more accurate to say that if you have chronic illness or disability you're living life on "difficult mode."

The rest of it is divisive bollocks. Life is harder for men in some ways, easier in others. Same for women. It shouldn't be a competition who has it worse. That's very dependent on the context.

This.

The ONLY real issue is the Uber rich vs everyone else. Pretty much everything else is just to distract you and divide you.

Dogsitterwoes · 27/09/2023 13:00

It's a total myth that in the past women were solely homemakers. Apart from a brief period in the late 19th and early 20th century when that became aspirational (but still not the reality for many women).

Even wealthy women 'worked' in a way that we do not. Running a large house with many employees, was similar to running a business and nothing like contemporary homemaking.

Read a few history books, dear.

Mouldyfoodhelp · 27/09/2023 13:07

The only time I've seen this said has been when there's been ridiculous stories of women selling say bathwater and people buying it or like only fans women getting tips for nothing.

dairysnow · 27/09/2023 17:21

Women live life on easy mode I don't think so, this girl was murdered by a boy because she didn't want to go out with him, men make women's lives a living hell because they don't even see us as human, we are just appendages to them

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-66935446

Forensic investigators at the scene of the stabbing

Croydon: Girl, 15, killed on way to school in south London stabbing

A teenage boy is arrested after the girl was stabbed on her way to school in south London.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-66935446

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