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Feminism: chat

I keep seeing this said online "Women live life on easy mode"

97 replies

dairysnow · 22/09/2023 10:30

I keep seeing this all over the internet men saying "women live life on easy / tutorial mode" That women cannot understand the pain and suffering that men go though and that we are always taken care of, never have to struggle. That we are effortlessly loved, adored and given support emotional (from other women usually) just because we are female, beautiful, can have babies.

I think a lot of this because some men think that women can find sexual partners easily or are more frequently desired and to them that is the number one desirable situation to be in ( am really not so sure they would be happy to put up with being groped and sexually harassed or threatened in the way that many women are). These men never seem to take into account the difficulties women face the world over and through time in a world that is designed for men medical drugs, car seat belts tailored to men for example, that at every turn seeks to remove women's agency from them i.e. removing removing of reproductive rights in the states for example. That we still don't get paid the same as men, the motherhood penalty, sexual harassment, assault, rape, violence and murder at the hands of men, often those men closest to us. Many women (not all of course) suffer terribly with conditions like PCOS, Endometriosis, menstrual migraines, the physical risks inherent in pregnancy and childbirth or that women while they go to see a GP more readily are less likely to have there concerns treated seriously or be brushed off as suffering depression and anxiety when they are actually ill or that conditions that predominately affect women attract less funding and research. The social conditioning that commonly women are subjected to from birth teaching us to be compliant people pleasers, not to make a fuss and essentially take all kinds of abuse in life.

One choice post I saw suggested that for a man being rejected by a woman was worse than rape, in fact I think he called it "reverse rape" and that women who were raped were lucky because at least someone wanted them and they got sex out of it and that they were probably asking for it anyway. I mean what? They take the attitude that everything that goes wrong for a woman in her fault but that everything that goes wrong for them is always someone else's, usually a woman's fault. For them a woman never has to worry because she just "is" while a man must worry about how he can be a man, worry if he will ever find a partner, have children, how he will support those children and so on. As if women don't also worry about all of those things and more.

It seems to me that the kind of men who would say something like "women live life on easy mode" have zero empathy for women as complex human beings with a wide range of lived experience and only have in their minds eye the most attractive, young, privileged women (who are still complex human beings who suffer and struggle like the rest of us). Ultimately a man who says or thinks "women live life on easy mode" does not see women as a being a human just like him, we are objects to him, with no inner life and no purpose beyond our perceived utility to him. A man like that is going to struggle to find any woman who will be interested in him precisely because he sees her as a mindless object. He cannot understand that women do support each other so well partly because of how difficult and unsafe our lives can be in a male dominated world.

Perhaps it has always been like this and we just see these comments more often because of the internet but I don't think things like access to limitless hardcore pornography online is helping much. Or the fact that these attitudes are spreading to young men before they have ever even had a relationship with a woman. Women seem to be increasingly rejecting relationships with men and it isn't hard to see why.

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BigBadaBoom · 24/09/2023 00:23

In case this hasn't been mentioned yet, it's been 50 years since US men were drafted to fight in a war.

That's not to minimise the sexism behind the disparity in men's and women's obligations in the US, it's just to point out that the significant majority of US men alive today have never faced the draft and, given how the US military operates in the 21st C, almost certainly never will have to face the draft. It's a legacy from a different era and doesn't have much meaning in the days of drones and smart missiles.

TorqueWrench · 24/09/2023 00:28

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CelestialSausage · 24/09/2023 06:49

TorqueWrench · 23/09/2023 01:24

I can find you a fair number of examples from this forum alone if you'd like. Actual quotes and links to the threads in question.

There have been a fair few discussions before about the privileges of not working (as well as the negatives) and other posters less lazy than me have previously collated loads of quotes to challenge the assertions that these women are stereotypes/don't exist.

I could probs find the threads. One was in the last year.

about 30% of the women I know work minimally or not at all. However they are not swanning around, going on spa days or shopping in sophisticated upmarket stores. They are all without exception dealing with complex caring responsibilities, in-fact they are often sandwiched between two generations needing care. They quietly undertake societies unpaid unrecognised hard graft. Being a life line for their kid who has just been newly sectioned, another the main carer for an autistic adult, a life line for their mum in her late 60’s with fast developing dementia and arthritis … and on it goes. Equally the men I know have to deal with challenges but they are different types of challenges and just as complex in a different way.

amidsummernightsdream · 24/09/2023 07:16

If you are seeing this ‘everywhere’ you’re actively looking for it.

You can find all sorts of wild and wacky opinions online. Why are you actively seeking this out??

User135644 · 24/09/2023 07:19

The "easy mode" thing generally is about how women can go on OLD and get hundreds or thousands of matches when most men struggle to get any. It's generally what it's about.

VoodooQualities · 24/09/2023 07:46

User135644 · 24/09/2023 07:19

The "easy mode" thing generally is about how women can go on OLD and get hundreds or thousands of matches when most men struggle to get any. It's generally what it's about.

Yes this is the context I've seen it in too, though the same men who use it in this context will also point to military service, 'divorce rape' and custody outcomes, false accusations of SA, plus all the other whining Incel/MRA talking points (that we've seen on this thread already).

Both sexes have their difficulties, but one sex is bigger than the other and tends to be dominant in most areas of life. Easy mode my arse.

HoneyBadgerMom · 25/09/2023 20:14

Ignore all that nonsense. Remember, the core tenet of the "red pill" philosophy of the manosphere is that women have ZERO value and therefore deserve to be treated like garbage. The whole drive of that philosophy is that nothing should ever be expected of men and women should grovel, "submit," and tolerate whatever treatment men give them and worship the man in return. That simply by virtue of having a pulse, all men are "kings." Kevin Samuels repeatedly said, "all men are moral and good, and all women are immoral and bad." That's the WHOLE philosophy, it's no more than the mindset that men are a superior life form, women are trash, and therefore men should go through life doing as they please with no restrictions and the only time men should be expected to treat another person with respect or decency is if that other person also has a penis. Women are expected to tolerate abuse, infidelity, disrespect and humiliation, because not having a penis means we deserve that life. It advises men to treat all women as nothing more than interchangeable whores, domestic slaves and whipping posts.

It's a silly, inane and lazy philosophy, concocted by immoral grifters, intended to divide men and women and destroy family relationships. Frankly, modern feminism is no better, it's the flip side of the red pill garbage.

The only way to have a good marriage is to have two people who care about each other and put each other first, who respect each other as equals, working together to build a life for both of them. Anything else, submission of either party, is not, IMHO, a true marriage. It may be a church marriage, but it's not a partnership, it's a hostage situation, and it doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman in the dominant position, the other person is literally and figuratively screwed out of a good life.

HoppyBunny1 · 26/09/2023 01:08

I'll try to explain the phrase regarding "easy mode." But, first there needs to be done context.

What you are likely seeing is a result of what happens when feminists persistently close off literally all avenues of civil dialogue in discussions about gender. By this I mean, feminism in theory is not feminism generally in practice. Also because feminists are largely not self-reflective, nor willing to engage introspection, most feminist operate on a system of presuppositions which as far as most are concerned is the beginning and end of any, and all discussion.

The unimpeachable infallibility model they assign themselves as women isn't tolerant of anything that suggest something different than the reductionist narrative and absolutism feminist typically apply to define all aspects of the world, human relationships, and male identity.

And assign is really at the heart of modern mainstream feminist ideology in practice. Were significant charge occur in the world indicating, even suggesting positive male contribution, feminists are very likely to acknowledge, notice or recognize those changes. There's simply to much social currency in the man= bad, woman= good paradigm.

When most men attempt to communicate any aspect of men's lived experiences, those men are immediately assigned, "misogynist, incel, sexist, immature, and a whole history of derogatory labels serving to affirm their entire biography remains in lockstep with the one dimensional narrative whose framework firmly reduces feminist definitions of men and straight male identity to only rapist, oppressor and abuser. Whatever else those men may be that can be considered laudatory, simply never emerges within any feminist discourse.

So when finally, slowly but surely men turn to each other to do what feminist refuse to do, which is examine topics make experiences and men's issues, rather than default to what feminist now unilaterally practice which is judgement and indictment of men, what those discussions will appear to the feminist as is incomprehensible because those discussions introduce complexity and nuance as a major part of men's lived experiences, some of which ceased being afraid of feminist judgement.

After all, since it's already a given the feminist position already has assigned demonization as the only response, at a certain point, it's already known "misogynist" and sub-human characterizations will certainly be the long and short of any feminist reaction along with racist, homophobe and sexual predator.

Where feminist capable of perceiving complexity within the context of men's lives, perhaps a scant few might discover most aspects about men is essentially completely unknown to most women.

So unknown in fact, that after decades of mocking male physical and psychological suffering, sometimes at the hands of women encouraged by feminism in the name of female empowerment. Feminist have practically alienated men in general from any balanced, objective examination of male female dynamics, culture, or the expansive diversity and contrast within men in general.

One result is, ironically men holding their own council, creating a few forums where men can share their experiences, open up to each other about their trials and tribulations, triumphs and tragedies without the cold damning judgement of feminists. And as these forums and dialogues shape a common language among those men, analogies like "easy mode" emerge. And yes, in general women in the west definitely have it on easy mode. But why won't feminist see this?

It's simple, as mentioned before, feminists have already set the narrative and limited all mainstream discourse on the "patriarchy" so called narrative, the wholesale hyphenating of "toxic" to any portion of straight male identity not wholly deferential to maximum personal feminization, and if course the feminist habit of pathologizing literally every expression and aspect of straight male sexuality. So, if things have changed dramatically in society where women's overall lives, opportunities, access to economic, educational, and massive government programs not available to men, no feminist would ever notice or believe it. And if those gains arrived at the expense of many men's wellbeing, it's not likely feminists will abandon negative judgement and automatic sentences of guilt to men overall with the blanket guilty verdict called "patriarchy."

So, as an increasing portion of men share their experiences which are unknown and unconsidered by feminists, most men quietly don't bother dialoguing with feminists since indifference, apathy and ridicule is guaranteed to be the typical response. And so as "easy mode" is used to characterize the gulf between objective men's experiences and the easily observed female entitlement and hyper-privileged, these discussions are not centered in seeking validation or acceptance of this observation from feminists. Most who have become too used to defining for men, what men's lived experiences are, more than the men they know almost nothing about objectively, who live their experiences.

Now at this point the charge of "Mansplaining, misogyny and the label of incel is expected.

HoneyBadgerMom · 26/09/2023 02:29

@HoppyBunny1 , I suspect you would get some accusations of "mansplaining," but not from me.

What I will say is this: What men are experiencing for the past few decades from feminists is what women have experienced from men for millennia. We were bought and sold, used, humiliated, and the butt of every joke. We were dismissed as weak-minded, overemotional dimwits with the brain power of a Weiner dog puppy dropped on it's head a few too many times. We were told that we must grovel, beg, and humiliate ourselves, and fight amongst ourselves, for approval from dismissive men who thought of us as no more than talking livestock.

So much like the "antiracists" of today, who claim the only "cure" for racism is racism, feminists have decided that the only cure for that past treatment is to do to men what men did to women. That is of course ridiculous. The "cure" is to strike a balance, where men can be men and women appreciate it, and women aren't stupid, helpless, interchangeable dimwits living at the mercy of men. The real answer is mutual respect, both for men and women as individuals, and for our specific strengths that come with our gender/sex (whichever nomenclature you prefer, I'm too old to keep up with the changing terms). Essentially, for most of history, in life men won and women lost, and now the feminists want revenge for wrongs never done to them from men who never did that to anyone.

Until feminists and the manosphere stop seeing relationships between men and women as a zero sum game, these silly gender wars will continue. One sex should not have to LOSE so the other can WIN. Collaboration is key. As I said previously, if one side has to submit, that side will always, ALWAYS lose. No one needs to submit, everyone is equally important with their own strengths. Men and women shouldn't be enemies. I realize that centuries of social and religious dogma say I'm absolutely wrong, and you are of course free to disagree as well. I'm just offering my perspective on the issue.

Mrsmulhern · 26/09/2023 02:45

@HoneyBadgerMom

If there are men on the internet as the OP said saying women live life on “easy mode” then there’s still no balance.

And I know there’s PP here saying they’re Incels but it’s not just a few men saying/thinking that there’s many. And they don’t even know it’s wrong.

How can there be balance or accepting the differences between men and women when we all know easy mode means that the thought process is life is easier because they think everything in life is about having sex?

When these men have sex with the easy mode women and they pregnant and become the main carer of their child and household and juggle childcare and working or have to put their career on hold whilst they carry on do they still think about that “easy mode”? I doubt it.

Thelnebriati · 26/09/2023 10:10

How are feminists asking men to submit, exactly? By demanding an end to male violence against women?

beastlyslumber · 26/09/2023 10:56

I don't think either sex has life easy, to be fair. But one member of one sex does seem to have a LOT more time on their hands to write extremely long-winded comments on forums aimed at the opposite sex...

Dogsitterwoes · 26/09/2023 12:32

Reported the pistonheads (probably) posters.

Gettingbysomehow · 26/09/2023 12:44

Incels. Sad pathetic men.

sawdustformypony · 26/09/2023 12:58

Dogsitterwoes · 26/09/2023 12:32

Reported the pistonheads (probably) posters.

What a hoot !

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:04

Ultimately if the shit hits the fan we are going to roll out the men. Men do the physically difficult jobs which build infrastructure and defend our society. Most women don’t want to work on oil rigs or be scaffolders.
Remember, we women demanded that we be equal to a man. But ultimately only we can bear children and nurse them so how can we ever be the same? I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that feminism has lead to the decline of the family.

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 13:12

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:04

Ultimately if the shit hits the fan we are going to roll out the men. Men do the physically difficult jobs which build infrastructure and defend our society. Most women don’t want to work on oil rigs or be scaffolders.
Remember, we women demanded that we be equal to a man. But ultimately only we can bear children and nurse them so how can we ever be the same? I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that feminism has lead to the decline of the family.

The decline of society or the decline in women not putting up with men and their shit?

I want more men to step up and be worthy of having a child with, and if more men did that, maybe they would have families and kids and not spend all their time on the internet moaning about how women live life on easy mode?

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 13:22

I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that feminism has lead to the decline of the family.

Feminists make men bugger off and abandon their children? Feminists make men shirk their responsibilities towards their families?

I'm not sure it's quite as clear as you seem to think.

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:52

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 13:12

The decline of society or the decline in women not putting up with men and their shit?

I want more men to step up and be worthy of having a child with, and if more men did that, maybe they would have families and kids and not spend all their time on the internet moaning about how women live life on easy mode?

The decline of the family.

Women in the past had one job-homemaker. We threw that away because we wanted to be “equal” to men.

Why do you deem those men you speak of as being not worthy of having a child with? Do you mean they don’t have jobs-what’s wrong with them? There’s plenty of average men out there.

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:53

WhosAfraidOfVirginalWolves · 26/09/2023 13:22

I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that feminism has lead to the decline of the family.

Feminists make men bugger off and abandon their children? Feminists make men shirk their responsibilities towards their families?

I'm not sure it's quite as clear as you seem to think.

Women initiate the majority of divorces. So it’s not men breaking up the family. If you’re female and want to remain married you’re likely to be able to.

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 14:14

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:52

The decline of the family.

Women in the past had one job-homemaker. We threw that away because we wanted to be “equal” to men.

Why do you deem those men you speak of as being not worthy of having a child with? Do you mean they don’t have jobs-what’s wrong with them? There’s plenty of average men out there.

Who is this 'we'?

I worked in construction and when I went off sick with tonsillitis they had to hire 3 full grown men to do my job whilst I was off

Equal doesn't come into it. I was always so much better.

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 14:29

AlisonDonut · 26/09/2023 14:14

Who is this 'we'?

I worked in construction and when I went off sick with tonsillitis they had to hire 3 full grown men to do my job whilst I was off

Equal doesn't come into it. I was always so much better.

You’re the exception so it proves nothing. A woman who is physically stronger than 3 men put together - as you suggest you are - is not the rule. Most physical jobs and most dangerous jobs are done by men.

Who is “we”? - women. We wanted equality and now we are allowed to do anything a man can do we are unhappier than ever.

GoodDayGood · 26/09/2023 14:36

Siameasy · 26/09/2023 13:52

The decline of the family.

Women in the past had one job-homemaker. We threw that away because we wanted to be “equal” to men.

Why do you deem those men you speak of as being not worthy of having a child with? Do you mean they don’t have jobs-what’s wrong with them? There’s plenty of average men out there.

But not all women want to be homemakers, or have children at all.

That’s the point of feminism.
To give women options, and get rid off the misogynystic notion that all women want to be wifes/mothers and that’s all they can be.

Women who have kids aren’t better people/women than those who don’t.
That’s patriarchal garbage that we need to get rid off and mive on already.

Abra1t · 26/09/2023 14:44

TorqueWrench · 22/09/2023 23:52

If I was a white male I'd probs find that pretty patronising, not least because nobody ever talks about asian privilege and the better health and financial outcomes of asian males in developed countries. But of course in the world of wokeness non-white people can only be oppressed.

And in reality straight white females are second only in privilege to the men they marry, whose financial succcess they benefit greatly from in spite of moaning about it.

If it were a race, straight white males would get gold, straight white females would get silver, and most people wouldn't even get to run the race because they can't afford running shoes.

That seems over-simplistic.

In the UK, Indians earn more on average than white British: £16.11 against £13.46 an hour. As women earn less than women, the figure for a white British woman compared with an Indian male in the UK would be even lower.

HoneyBadgerMom · 26/09/2023 15:12

Mrsmulhern · 26/09/2023 02:45

@HoneyBadgerMom

If there are men on the internet as the OP said saying women live life on “easy mode” then there’s still no balance.

And I know there’s PP here saying they’re Incels but it’s not just a few men saying/thinking that there’s many. And they don’t even know it’s wrong.

How can there be balance or accepting the differences between men and women when we all know easy mode means that the thought process is life is easier because they think everything in life is about having sex?

When these men have sex with the easy mode women and they pregnant and become the main carer of their child and household and juggle childcare and working or have to put their career on hold whilst they carry on do they still think about that “easy mode”? I doubt it.

Sadly, most men have ZERO respect for the work of keeping a home and raising children. They think stay at home mothers and housewives just sit around all day playing with babies or watching television. The phrase "woman's work" is a pejorative for a reason, throughout history, society has looked down on women.

But today, in the West (I'm in the US), is the best time in all of history to be a woman. It's not perfect, no. But the internet has given a megaphone to those with an axe to grind, and the noise coming from the men who hate women is very, very loud, but it is still a minority. Men today, especially Generation X (my generation) and later, recognize that women are, in fact, human beings. Not livestock or pets, but actual people with brains and souls and ideas that matter.

I'm frustrated and angry at the rise of Jordan Peterson, Matt Walsh, Michael Knowles, Nick Frietas, Andrew Tate, Kevin Samuels, etc. Those men who loathe women, hold us in contempt and view us as property, and believe that we cannot have a good society unless women LOSE. Our humiliation and degradation is apparently their recipe for utopia. 🙄 But they are a minority. Most men are sane, normal people, not these frothing, bitter man children still angry that the head cheerleader wouldn't date them.