Pregnant NYC Bike "Karen" was the victim, not the agressor

[littleripper]

Trial by social media for a pregnant woman who cried when a man tried to steal the bike she's hired is tried and hung by social media, and put on unpaid leave from her job, with no evidence or investigation:

https://www.bicycling.com/news/a43920956/pregnant-nyc-karen-on-video-trying-to-steal-a-black-mans-citi-bike/

https://news.yahoo.com/receipts-show-hospital-worker-accused-170920174.html

It turns out she had paid for the bike and he has no evidence he paid. But he is not the subject of the internets wrath, no consequences for him.

I hope she takes her employers to court and wins a massive settlement. Surreal levels of misogyny and hatred directed to a pregnant healthcare worker who did nothing wrong at all.

Will this ever be recognised for what it is?

That is just not true. There are not 'very few women' doing that. And the word deliberate is very troubling in this context. Just as unconscious bias is. By our white privilege, we KNOW. It is easier to pretend we don't. It is easier to pretend is all accidental and unconscious and woe is me.

That does not change the impact is has on non white women.

I haven't been around this particular board much. And I am yet again overwhelmed by my naivety. I assumed (white privilege alert) that women who called themselves feminists were people who were for equality and inclusion, in general. Again, I have seen how much more I have to learn.

Of course feminists want inclusion and equality for all women, but one group of women saying that another group use their emotions as weapons (and the inference being that this is a lot of white women) and that they are as much of a threat as men, isn't very feminist on my view.

One article? That doesn't really constitute informing oneself. There are countless articles,, book and podcasts, by academics, journalists and other contributors. It also requires you to step out of your comfort zone and try to see why someone might see the world differently.

This is exactly why normalising or excusing the humiliation of any woman harms all women. (I'm not suggesting that the men who confronted the nurse were humiliating her: it was social media that did that.)

Misogynistic bullies and abusers don't confine themselves to one set of women: we are all targets.

I certainly think there are women who will cry to win an argument and it's manipulative behaviour. But I think the people who do this would always do it, regardless of who they were arguing with. I just think it's not right to imply this is a white woman trait, as if millions of whites women are doing this to get one over on black women.

People see the world based on their personal experience. And they are inclined to make judgments based on that. Doesn't mean those judgments are fair or reasonable or objectively sound.

Not all violence is physical. Whether you agree with the word violent or not, black women suffer greatly in these situations.

What definition of violence are you using? The dictionary definition of violence is very clear that it involves physical force or actions.

Something can be deeply harmful without being violent. I’m not disputing that black women can be harmed by it but that doesn’t make it “violence”.

The word violence has a specific meaning. A lot of actual violence is being justified now by young people on the basis that embarrassing or upsetting someone with words actually constitutes “violating” someone and that therefore a violent response is justified because words can be violence too. It’s dangerous and teenagers and young adults are being injured and in some cases dying in the violent confrontations that result.

Apart from the fact that there is sufficient evidence out there to corroborate black women's experiences. Like I said, with a few exceptions, we see you, and know exactly what you are -gatekeepers, not allies.

Not every definituon is in the dictionary. There are enough resources by researchers, charities, and parties use. That you are hung up on the word not the effect of the behaviour is quite telling. Let's move the focus away from the way feminism betrays women of colour and focus on young people. Distract, deny... Same old tactics.

I’m happy to discuss the impact of such behaviour. I agree it can be very harmful. In my job, I’ve seen white girls turn on the waterworks to get themselves out of trouble or to shift blame onto black girls when they are very clearly in the wrong. I’ve seen detentions cancelled for a white girl because her parents called in and emphasised what a “nice girl” she is and how upset she is about the detention whilst the black girls involved in the same incident sat their detention because their parents didn’t call and complain. And I suspect that is partly because they are wary of being perceived as “aggressive” or painted as intimidating if they make a fuss. It’s a problem.

I just don’t think that calling it violence is helpful. The examples above are clearly not in the same category of behaviour as the behaviour of the boys who punched one of our girls in the head, knocked her to the floor and then kicked her whilst she was on the ground.
Or the boys who broke the jaw of a teenage girl from a nearby school, or the ones who punched a girl at another school so hard in the face that she smacked her head against a bus shelter.

@Socrateswasrightaboutvoting I don't doubt that those women have had negative experiences and have encountered manipulative people, who will do whatever it takes to win an argument. But I do take exception to the notion this is a tactic white women routinely employ to oppress you. I just don't believe that most women weaponise tears to win arguments, whoever they are in dispute with.

This.

I can't believe women who are feminists would post that white women are as much a threat to them as men are. Or that the woman in this video looks the type to weaponise her tears.

In any scenario, my first response is to believe the woman. To me, that's feminist. Are all women right, do all women always do the right thing, are all men always in the wrong? No, of course not. But my first response is to believe the woman. But apparently, if the woman is white and the group arguing with her are young black males, I should assume she's lying and they're the victims. No, I believe the woman.

Minimising women's experience , telling them that what you believe is more feminist than what they experience is anti-feminist and misogynist.

Telling other women that you hold the key to what's acceptable, feminist and misogynistic is entitled, to put it mildly. Not caring about what they're saying to you but more about what you believe should be important is arrogant. Telling women that anything they say is misogynistic but you can choose what you call misogynistic, is ridiculous.

Playing semantics and being deliberately obtuse to deflect from the issue is both cowardly and passive aggressive at the same time.

We can play this game all day.

But this is par for the course.

I can't talk to people who twist like this. You have said, repeatedly, that the woman here is at fault. With no evidence that this particular woman did anything wrong. I believe the woman, not because she is white, but because she is the woman.

You have said, repeatedly, that the woman here is at fault.
You must be mistaking me for someone else, if I'm being generous.

I can't talk to people who twist like this.
The irony.
Me neither.

I believe the woman, not because she is white, but because she is the woman.

I can't do this. I believe what I see. A woman is as capable of being at fault as much as a man. I don't have blind or biased belief in people.

If you're capable of believing her just because she's a woman, I'll safely assume you're capable of believing her over a black person, just because she's white. The same concept of bias you've just admitted to.

The discussion on this thread is a bit futile imo. You either believe that you can judge a person’s guilt in a situation based on the colour of their skin (in some cases on this thread without even checking the basic facts of the situation eg who was or was not on the bike), or you don’t.

All the arguments about what is and isn’t feminism are beside the point.

I guess I believe the person who seems most convincing.

so the Central Park dog walking woman who wailed and called the police on the black birdwatching guy…..I never believed her. And yes she did turn the fake crying on and off like a tap. It was obvious from the video. She exaggerated what was happening to the police with the intent of getting them there asap to protect her.

however the nurse in this video seems very genuine. Both in the actual video and then backed up by her email receipts.

That you don't find call it violence helpful is hardly surprising. You recognise the weaponised white tears of the girls at your school. You recognised how they are used to punish black girls, you acknowledge disparity in power and the stereotypes at play, but is just a problem. Curious, do you feel complicit?

If you're capable of believing her just because she's a woman, I'll safely assume you're capable of believing her over a black person, just because she's white. The same concept of bias you've just admitted to.

That is ridiculous. Before any evidence to the contrary I'll believe the woman being the victim not the aggressor, absolutely. Men are the aggressors in the overwhelming majority of aggressive acts, that's easily proved. A lone woman is ridiculously unlikely to try to steal a bike from a group of men. Your assumptions here are pretty clear.

Some white women are adept at using this tactic, many white women by refusing to acknowledge the different experience of women of colour enable this behaviour. Feel free to take exception and just keep on enabling the oppression of black feminists. There is a reason that black women need a safe space from white women and it isn't sisterhood.

If any teacher is seeing a pupil cry to shift blame for their own wrongdoing, then that teacher has a duty to put a stop to it. And if they they can prove a child's behaviour is deserving of detention, then parental phone calls should have no influence on school behaviour policy.
And if the parents of the wronged girls aren't talking to school and advocating for their children, that's a parenting failure.

When my sister was a teen, she was accused of bullying - the other girl cried and my sister was blamed. I think it's fair to say that people instinctively feel sorry for the crying party. Then when my parents asked for evidence to support why the school were wholeheartedly taking one girls word over another, when the teacher (and no one else) had seen any bullying, the school were forced to investigate and it transpired the accusing girl wasn't being truthful. Some girls do turn on the waterworks but they would be like this regardless of who they encounter. And in school id think black kids are as capable as white ones of doing this because individuals, People aren't an homogeneous mass with shared characteristics resulting from their skin colour.

This happens to black people every day. Your points is?

Its not a parenting failure its a recognition of the structural and systemic racism, where you know you will come off worse, even when you are in the right.