#tradwife

[HangingOver]

Behold!

www.instagram.com/reel/CosDY4RDOM7/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I think I threw up in my mouth.

@viques I understand what you are saying but divorce would never come into my calculations. If you're worrying about "what if we get divorced" then I'd question the marriage in its entirety.

I understand that that will sound naive to some, but we are both from families where divorce is a rarity.

Yeah it looks like role play. None of it seems authentic, she looks like she's wearing a costume. Did she instigate it or her husband? Attention seeking maybe but hard to care about.

Two words: Daddy issues.

@Dacadactyl - Did your husband look good for you? Did he ever do anything house related?

I saw a good video on social media about a woman talking about being a SAHP. She said he worked out of the house 9-5 and she worked in the house 9-5 - looking after the kids/house but as soon as he came home everything became 50:50. Why should he be allowed to relax after his job but her job be 24/7? A good perspective I thought.

@Dacadactyl

So you think it's OK for wen to be subservient as long as the individuals are happy?

Fuck that

That is not an ideal anyine should be promoting

@ChilliBandit yes he always looked good but his job would require that anyway.

I understand the perspective of the woman you speak of and if I had my time again maybe I would've changed the set up to reflect what she said because looking after kids FT is tough going and a job in itself, for sure.

HOWEVER, we are all products of our environments and both of us were kids of SAHMs who never worked outside the home again after they had kids. So, when we went to marriage preparation classes, we discussed all of this and agreed on what would happen. On the whole, both of us were happy with it and it worked well. Since I started PT work, we have split the household chores more, without issue.

@Dacadactyl

If you wanted a sahp why didn't he do it?

That's choice feminism.

Ultimately many women make choices that don't benefit other women/feminism. That's normal, because these choices don't exist within a vacuum.

Being a tradwife giving up your independence and putting yourself in a difficult position, as well as essentially upholding the patriarchy is pretty anti-feminist and it's okay to admit that.

Not subservient TO MEN, subservient to HER HUSBAND, if they are both happy with it. There is a difference between men on the whole and your own husband as I see it.

In the context of a respectful relationship, i have no problem with traditional roles.

I've been sick in bed in pjs for 11 weeks now with HG. My DH has been my carer and is now the main care giver to our kids until I'm well enough for him to return to work.
These women always worry me, what happens when they're sick? Does DH just fuck them off?

There has been a real increase in these “tradwives” along with the homesteading women who have lots of children and spend all day filming videos of them pickling and preserving produce. I agree these women are doing it for the attention and for the views and are unlikely to be properly living this lifestyle, but the fact they are promoting it as some sort of ideal is really disturbing.

Who, my husband?

I wouldn't want my husband to be a SAHP, although he has said he would've been happy to SAH with them.

The reasons why I wouldn't have wanted him to do it are:

He's quieter and less outgoing than I am

He wouldn't have taken the kids to all the playgroups etc I did because he's not as sociable

I wanted the kids to be out and about a lot at various activities

I felt I would be able to advocate better for my kids in situations where another kid snatched stuff off them or hit them, just by my nature

I see it as the man's role to earn the money and the woman's role to SAH.

They're the reasons.

I am not very keen on the very childlike voice she puts on to accompany her submissive role. It comes across as false.

I genuinely don’t understand how people who don’t have a skill to teach others go online to influence, sure if you have a skill to market like make up or fashion or housework tips or PT but trying to influence others based on just your lifestyle comes across as lacking any self awareness to me. It just seems narcissistic.

I think for a lot of these ‘trad wives’ and their husbands it is a fetishised situation. Which is, I don’t think, any better.

I mean, you do you, but I don’t like promotion of the removal of women’s equality.

@Dacadactyl

No wonder you're OK with women being subservient to men then.

Bleugh

This makes no sense. Feminism is about equality for women which by extension would result in both men or women be able to fulfil roles which are currently gendered. That includes staying at home and raising children.

This argument actually plays right into the trad wife's hands. And I know a lot about the trad wife movement. They believe that they need to hold antifeminist positions because according to them, feminism directly means that women aren't "allowed" to be "feminine" and to them, being feminine is presenting in a "ladylike" manner, and fulfilling the traditional (in patriarchal societies) role of women.

Luckily this is not a huge movement in the UK (at least publicly), but it is a growing trend in the US and probably other places with a white dominant population. It is rooted in ultra conservative views and has strong ties to white supremacy. If you would like to sample more mainstream Tradwife content, I would recommend looking at Youtube channels like Mrs Midwest and Abby Shapiro (sorry if these have already been mentioned).

@CandlelightGlow

Choice being a by product of feminism doesn't mean that's what feminism is about

I see it as the man's role to earn the money and the woman's role to SAH.

Cool. You don't really need to be posting on a feminist board then though, do ya?

No, not to MEN. To their HUSBAND, should they CHOOSE to be. The important parts (and the important distinctions) are capitalised.

@Dacadactyl - we are all products of our environment, it doesn’t mean that we have to carry on as our parents did. I find it very troubling you see no issue with someone being subservient to their husband. Being a SAHM isn’t in itself subservient. It’s harder work than most jobs I’d wager. Why is there a need to be subservient? My husband works less hours than me and does more childcare, should he be subservient to me?

What is equality if not equal opportunities in society? It's not a by product, it's literally the main goal 🤔

Husbands are men.

It being a choice doesn't make it OK

@CandlelightGlow - I can’t help but laugh at Abby Shapiro. She talks a lot about being “classic” and what “dressing classic” looks like. I think she means classy but either way it just looks and sounds ridiculous.

Sorry but I will absolutely not by into the type of feminism that most trends among women in their late teens and 20's where the sole goal of feminism is to be a #bossbabe.

Feminism is about female equality and abolishment of patriarchal societal roles which limit women (and by extension men) in all areas of society including health care, the work place, etc. It is a very privileged and narrow perspective which would summise that feminism is solely about getting women out of the home. For a lot women that will happen, but it's not a prerequisite to considering yourself a feminist nor it is it an essential end goal of feminism.

Anyway I've said my piece on the trad wife movement.

Oh my gosh yes "Classically Abby" I can't help cringing!!

The other issue with the tradwife movement is it is rooted in a position of extreme privilege - the privilege of not actually having to worry about depending on your husband should he turn out to be an abusive twat, but pretending you are anyway so you can flutter your eyelashes on camera and talk about knitting doilies and keeping house. Boak.