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Feminism: chat

Benedict Cumberbatch says 'men need fixing'

110 replies
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IntemperateSpirits · 25/11/2021 16:59

Amusingly enough the comments seem to be NAMALT which I thought proved his point that SMALT and the others should do something about it rather than just say NAMALT.

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ErrolTheDragon · 25/11/2021 17:04

I haven't looked at the comments, but that's entirely predictable. I tend to think decent blokes know that if the cap doesn't fit then they don't need to wear it - so the only people emitting NAMALT wails are more liable to be those who it could fit.

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UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 25/11/2021 17:05

He doesn't say 'men need fixing', which implies that they're broken someone and therefore unable to behave properly. He says they need to fix their behaviour.

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ErrolTheDragon · 25/11/2021 17:10

I'll blame the headline writer of the app version for the thread title.
Yes, 'fixing their behaviour' is a more accurate quote and a better phrase.

Benedict Cumberbatch says 'men need fixing'
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AssassinatedBeauty · 25/11/2021 17:23

Well, he is saying what we all know, and his comments about the childish reaction of NAMALT are totally accurate.

I wonder how many famous men will publicly agree and discuss this? Probably very few, sadly.

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EightWheelGirl · 25/11/2021 20:30

I don't really want men to be like him though. He is a bit of a wet lettuce tbh.

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Samedaysameshit · 26/11/2021 18:11

What do you want me to be like then?

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EightWheelGirl · 26/11/2021 18:53

@Samedaysameshit

What do you want me to be like then?

Are you Benedict himself?
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rumred · 26/11/2021 19:33

Men need to speak out, even if you don't fancy them

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/11/2021 19:34

Women have been talking about this for decades. But the men that need to listen, dont listen to women.

Good on BC for speaking out. Men need to speak up about this too in the hope that other men will listen.

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RedDeadRoach · 26/11/2021 19:37

Bit of a shame that a man who speaks up for women is described as a wet lettuce. Rather have a "man's man", would you?

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CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 26/11/2021 19:41

Good on him.

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EightWheelGirl · 26/11/2021 21:04

@RedDeadRoach

Bit of a shame that a man who speaks up for women is described as a wet lettuce. Rather have a "man's man", would you?

Well, yes I prefer 'manly' men. What's wrong with that? Being masculine doesn't automatically mean abusive/violent etc.

I think we would have more success trying to be accepting of all types of men rather than shunning some, which is likely to make them more disenfranchised and hostile to society.
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Carboncheque · 26/11/2021 21:11

The suicide rate for men is 3x that for women. Keeping up the ‘man’s man’ front - not showing ‘weakness’ - prevents men from admitting they need help and getting the support they need.

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StillWeRise · 26/11/2021 23:29

yes, good for him
I'm sure he's devastated that some women don't fancy him Hmm
same as I'm devastated some men think I don't make enough effort to be attractive to them

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ErrolTheDragon · 26/11/2021 23:36

I think we would have more success trying to be accepting of all types of men rather than shunning some,

Not sure what you mean by 'all types of men'. There are some whose behaviour is absolutely not acceptable - so if they want to be accepted then the onus is on them to change.

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TheMarzipanDildo · 26/11/2021 23:38

@EightWheelGirl

I don't really want men to be like him though. He is a bit of a wet lettuce tbh.

He doesn’t owe you manly sexiness you know.

Good on him for this.
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TheMarzipanDildo · 26/11/2021 23:44

The comments are weird. He’s getting criticism from people who haven’t noticed the links between men having to maintain some kind of uber manly stiff upper lip/ lack of self awareness/ lack of empathy with male violence AND poor mental health.

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SleepingStandingUp · 26/11/2021 23:44

I think we would have more success trying to be accepting of all types of men rather than shunning some, which is likely to make them more disenfranchised and hostile to society says the person calling a man who is actually publicly calling our toxic masculinity a wet lettuce. Where does that stand with accepting all types of men?

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Lostgirl78 · 26/11/2021 23:52

The comments section is so depressing. Jesus. There's no sorting this mess out. Good on the guy for trying though.

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AppleBottomedJeans · 27/11/2021 00:00

There used to be a poster on here called

BendyDickComeInMySnatch

always call him that now Grin

Irrelevant I know Blush

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Lifewith · 27/11/2021 00:06

Don't call men wet lettuces. Least he's trying to speak up

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LobsterNapkin · 27/11/2021 00:59

I'm not totally convinced the stiff upper lip stuff is really responsible for the issues men have with mental health.

Anyway, I don't know that I think statements like that are useful. Some men need to stop being asses. Some women have to stop being asses. Assholes need to stop being asses.

I can't do anything about female assholes and I don't want people to put that on my shoulders and I suspect nice men feel equally unable to do much about male assholes. What's Benedict doing about it, other than making statements like this?

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EightWheelGirl · 27/11/2021 01:09

@LobsterNapkin

I'm not totally convinced the stiff upper lip stuff is really responsible for the issues men have with mental health.

Anyway, I don't know that I think statements like that are useful. Some men need to stop being asses. Some women have to stop being asses. Assholes need to stop being asses.

I can't do anything about female assholes and I don't want people to put that on my shoulders and I suspect nice men feel equally unable to do much about male assholes. What's Benedict doing about it, other than making statements like this?

Exactly.

Pushing the idea that manly men are somehow broken and need to be fixed just sounds like he got one too many dead arms on the school bus and holds a grudge. The message needs to be that it's ok to express your feelings as a man, not that you're broken if you're a traditionally manly bloke.

There's a reason why they often use boxers and other manly men in the adverts about male mental health, and they have the right idea IMO. That you can be a traditional man and still express your emotions.
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ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2021 01:17

He wasn't criticising 'manly men'.Hmm

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