Benedict Cumberbatch says 'men need fixing'

[ErrolTheDragon]

In the Times today

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/society-needs-to-address-toxic-masculinity-benedict-cumberbatch-says-fz2vvqhgl?shareToken=87738e3f9768b2b2d595bafdf7e31559

Amusingly enough the comments seem to be NAMALT which I thought proved his point that SMALT and the others should do something about it rather than just say NAMALT.

I haven't looked at the comments, but that's entirely predictable. I tend to think decent blokes know that if the cap doesn't fit then they don't need to wear it - so the only people emitting NAMALT wails are more liable to be those who it could fit.

He doesn't say 'men need fixing', which implies that they're broken someone and therefore unable to behave properly. He says they need to fix their behaviour.

I'll blame the headline writer of the app version for the thread title.
Yes, 'fixing their behaviour' is a more accurate quote and a better phrase.

Well, he is saying what we all know, and his comments about the childish reaction of NAMALT are totally accurate.

I wonder how many famous men will publicly agree and discuss this? Probably very few, sadly.

I don't really want men to be like him though. He is a bit of a wet lettuce tbh.

What do you want me to be like then?

@Samedaysameshit

What do you want me to be like then?

Are you Benedict himself?

Men need to speak out, even if you don't fancy them

Women have been talking about this for decades. But the men that need to listen, dont listen to women.

Good on BC for speaking out. Men need to speak up about this too in the hope that other men will listen.

Bit of a shame that a man who speaks up for women is described as a wet lettuce. Rather have a "man's man", would you?

Good on him.

@RedDeadRoach

Bit of a shame that a man who speaks up for women is described as a wet lettuce. Rather have a "man's man", would you?

Well, yes I prefer 'manly' men. What's wrong with that? Being masculine doesn't automatically mean abusive/violent etc.

I think we would have more success trying to be accepting of all types of men rather than shunning some, which is likely to make them more disenfranchised and hostile to society.

The suicide rate for men is 3x that for women. Keeping up the ‘man’s man’ front - not showing ‘weakness’ - prevents men from admitting they need help and getting the support they need.

yes, good for him
I'm sure he's devastated that some women don't fancy him
same as I'm devastated some men think I don't make enough effort to be attractive to them

I think we would have more success trying to be accepting of all types of men rather than shunning some,

Not sure what you mean by 'all types of men'. There are some whose behaviour is absolutely not acceptable - so if they want to be accepted then the onus is on them to change.

@EightWheelGirl

I don't really want men to be like him though. He is a bit of a wet lettuce tbh.

He doesn’t owe you manly sexiness you know.

Good on him for this.

The comments are weird. He’s getting criticism from people who haven’t noticed the links between men having to maintain some kind of uber manly stiff upper lip/ lack of self awareness/ lack of empathy with male violence AND poor mental health.

I think we would have more success trying to be accepting of all types of men rather than shunning some, which is likely to make them more disenfranchised and hostile to society says the person calling a man who is actually publicly calling our toxic masculinity a wet lettuce. Where does that stand with accepting all types of men?

The comments section is so depressing. Jesus. There's no sorting this mess out. Good on the guy for trying though.

There used to be a poster on here called

BendyDickComeInMySnatch

always call him that now

Irrelevant I know

Don't call men wet lettuces. Least he's trying to speak up

I'm not totally convinced the stiff upper lip stuff is really responsible for the issues men have with mental health.

Anyway, I don't know that I think statements like that are useful. Some men need to stop being asses. Some women have to stop being asses. Assholes need to stop being asses.

I can't do anything about female assholes and I don't want people to put that on my shoulders and I suspect nice men feel equally unable to do much about male assholes. What's Benedict doing about it, other than making statements like this?

@LobsterNapkin

I'm not totally convinced the stiff upper lip stuff is really responsible for the issues men have with mental health.

Anyway, I don't know that I think statements like that are useful. Some men need to stop being asses. Some women have to stop being asses. Assholes need to stop being asses.

I can't do anything about female assholes and I don't want people to put that on my shoulders and I suspect nice men feel equally unable to do much about male assholes. What's Benedict doing about it, other than making statements like this?

Exactly.

Pushing the idea that manly men are somehow broken and need to be fixed just sounds like he got one too many dead arms on the school bus and holds a grudge. The message needs to be that it's ok to express your feelings as a man, not that you're broken if you're a traditionally manly bloke.

There's a reason why they often use boxers and other manly men in the adverts about male mental health, and they have the right idea IMO. That you can be a traditional man and still express your emotions.

He wasn't criticising 'manly men'.