Sexism and teenage boys - what do they think?

Tricky.

Sexism starts v young and is essentially indoctrinated by peers society and often family.

I had a boy refuse a plate with food on because it had some pink on it. When he was like 5. His mum who I know really well said well what can you do. Can you change it?

Small example.

What you need to do, and is within your control is to talk to your daughter.

What makes boys and men all over the world and through history be arseholes to women and girls? See them as lesser? Get angry when they don't comply even to trivial things? That's a huge topic.

Just let her

Know that most blokes are lovely but a significant minority are areseholes.

That it's not about them. It's about showing off to their mates. About some kind of hierarchy bollocks.

To listen to her instincts and follow them.

And that if get back in the kitchen is the worst heard then actually that's pretty lucky.

All you can do is try to forewarn. Give them outs for if they need them. And let them know that this sort of shit is not about them at all. It's about male hierarchy and ego.

It's shit obv. Realistically that's all you can do though.

I couldn't get annoyed about a "make me a sandwich" comment from a teenage lad tbh. People use different insults for each sex (e.g. saying a guy 'must have a small cock' etc) and teenagers haven't yet reached that stage where society has drilled into them that you must ignore the differences between the sexes in order to be PC.

Also, it doesn't help that the partner who gives up work and lives on their partner's wealth always seems to be female. It may not be the norm, but it's almost never the man that becomes a kept husband.

If it was always dad in the kitchen and doing the housework this stereotype wouldn't exist!

Well you're entitled to your opinion obv.

Good news is in some parts of the world at the mo women are being put out of their jobs and back in the kitchen :)

Sage Schools Alliance have a Factsheet on sexism in secondary schools. You could share this with your school. Everyday sexism needs to be called out but all the teachers need to be on board and realise the importance of it having consequences. Girls need to be encouraged to report it too.
www.google.com/amp/s/safeschoolsallianceuk.net/resources-2/factsheets/%3famp

Let clothes be clothes have done a report on sexism with schools uniforms, which I also sent my school. They were really grateful and are using some of it for training days.
www.letclothesbeclothes.co.uk/girls-school-uniform-report-2021

We've had 25 years of trying to protect kids from anything like this that may cause offence and it has in my opinion done massive harm.

When did we decide to teach children that words were in fact just as bad as sticks and stones?

If she were my child I'd personally be trying to equip her with a few retorts to put him back in his box and remind her its just (a poor) attempt at humour.

No we haven't had 25 years of trying to protect kids from anything that might cause offence. Unless you've been living under a rock you'd know that sexism and sexual assault is rife in British schools and has not been effectively addressed at all.

Thankfully in some areas we have made some small progress. When I was at school terms of racist abuse were common and rarely challenged. Now it's definitely less acceptable and teachers generally address it. Homophobic abuse is generally less well addressed. Sexism and open misogyny toward women and girls is still seen as just boys being boys by many. As per the previous poster. Girls should not have to put up with this kind of behaviour and boys should most definitely know or find out that it has serious consequences.

You can also make it clear to your DD that boys who say this kind of misogynistic crap are likely masking their own inadequacies and/or have been socialised into it by their parents/family who view it as acceptable attempts at humour.

I dunno tbh.

I do find it odd that young people are so much more terribly offended nowadays despite society being much more PC. Yes, we should absolutely challenge bullying etc but I also think too many kids seem not to have been taught to stand up for themselves. These are sadly the sort of people that will get walked all over in the real world.

I think teenagers say a lot of things they don't believe, and believe a lot of things they won't believe in 10 years.

Excellent report by Let Clothes be Clothes. I will share it with local schools. Thanks for the link.

Confused How can the sane post say people are too easily offended they need to stand up for themselves

If they were not offended they wouldn't need to be taught how best to respond and stand up for themselves


Cones across as victim blaming ... you are too easily offended

... and you should just be nasty back , is that really what we want to reach kids ?

I don’t agree with the comments saying that it’s a mild insult so get over it.

It’s about the entitlement that young men feel to women because they weaponising the sexism of the past to put girls down.

Yes it’s all just a joke but isn’t that the point? Would white people feel it’s ok to jokingly tell their black friends to go back to the ghetto/plantation?

What happened in Plymouth?

@AssassinatedBeauty You've taken two entirely separate issues of sexual assault and hurt feelings. It's you who must be living under a rock if you think sexual assault isnt treated very seriously in schools indeed.

As a parent if you do not feel a school has dealt with an issue satisfactorily you should approach the school governors, local authority or even police.

Kids being offended is a very separate thing, we're not doing any of them any favours by pretending hurtful words are the same thing as actual attacks/assaults.

We're setting them up for a massive fall when the enter the world of work and adult life with this nonsense.

Kids being offended is a very separate thing, we're not doing any of them any favours by pretending hurtful words are the same thing as actual attacks/assaults.

We're setting them up for a massive fall when the enter the world of work and adult life with this nonsense.

This is pretty much what I was getting at.

@Lessthanaballpark Yes as a matter of fact, there are lots of (mainly male) work places where people who know each other well can still joke about things like this. Dark humour is how a lot of people deal with difficult topics like racism etc.

God, what a depressing thread. It's no wonder that sexism is still a problem in schools, the kids get it from somewhere.

I have had lots of discussions about this with my 16yo dd. It seems that some boys go out of their way to wind up the girls with outrageously sexist comments. Presumably they think it's funny and don't really care how offensive they're being. Then the majority are just unaware or at least pretend to be. Don't say sexist crap but keep their heads down and avoid challenging it. And then there are a few who do genuinely care and want to learn.

A bit like society as a whole, I guess. Depressingly, we don't seem to have moved on as much as I thought we would have done by now. Change is extremely slow...

Ah, I fear you have missed the point, @CBUK2K2, in the throes of your indignation. But thanks for your passion on this subject of protecting girls from harm in secondary schools.

So we should tell our kids not to be offended by sexist statements because they need to get used to them before they go into the world of work?

Have I misunderstood what you're saying?

@ChaneySays Baroness Fox did an interesting interview a few years ago where she spoke about doing two presentation in two different schools.

One was related to the depiction of the prophet Mohamed and I cant remember the second. But she'd been very shocked at just how upset some pupils became just by discussing ideas they didn't like.

These are the same kids tuning universities in to monocultures of thought and opinion.

@AlexaShutUp Unless you know some magic way of ensuring these young people will never be subject to any form of difficult, stressful or unpleasant situation it seems they'd be better served in learning to deal with adversity than trying to hide them from it.

There generally isn't a teacher to go and tell in the real world and as much as some seem to want to you cant ban anything that isn't 100% aligned with your beliefs.

@AssassinatedBeauty I think its you that's missed the point, you're the one randomly making assertions about sexual assault in an entirety unrelated context.

[quote CBUK2K2]@AlexaShutUp Unless you know some magic way of ensuring these young people will never be subject to any form of difficult, stressful or unpleasant situation it seems they'd be better served in learning to deal with adversity than trying to hide them from it.

There generally isn't a teacher to go and tell in the real world and as much as some seem to want to you cant ban anything that isn't 100% aligned with your beliefs.[/quote]
This.

The inconvenient truth is that you can't police the whole of society. There will always be arseholes, so you can either get yourself bent out of shape and give them the reaction they seek, or you can learn to get on with your life.

I'm not condoning such behaviour, but the main thing IMO is that people know themselves what's right and wrong. If other individuals want to make poor decisions let them, unless we're talking literal violence (and I mean physical, not literal violence of the literary kind).