my beautiful, clever, fintastic 10 year old keeps talking about suicide. Am heartbroken.

[ErnestTheBavarian]

How the f do I handle it when a just turneed 10 year old talks repestedly about suicide.

WHat a lot of support

You know, I am really lucky to have you lot to help me, in the absence of rl friends. I honestly don't know if I would have thought to go to the doctors if it weren't for you. As it is, GOOD NEWS alert - I cannot believe it. The doctor gave me a list of Psychotherapists and told me to work my way through it to try and get an appointment. He warned me it could take 3 to 6 months till we got a slot. Obviously that was Friday lunch time, so I couldn't phone till this morning. Left a bunch of messages.

Well one just got back to me, my preferred one as he's a man, thought it would do ds good to talk to a man - he can fit us in this Friday - some only 1 week between seeking help and having 1st appointment. Really hope it helps.

Could do with tips on working out how to organise our afternoons so that I can physically tire him out, as I think that would help, but our afternoon routine, with 4 kids is chaotic Am sure that will help.

Can't thank you enough.

luckyblackcat and cocolepew, sorry you've had similar problems. coco, are you getting help and support? LBC, we would def get a rescue dog if it happens ( - I think the fence is going to be the sticking point, will prob have to wait till we move again in 2 years.) I sort of see your point on taking him to choose it, BUT, I am really concerned as he's so sensitive it will upset him too much to leave behind all the other dogs who aren't chosen. He is so sensitive and particularly about animals - he became vegetarian about 3 months ago and has been very strict ( ie won't even eat jelly sweets, and will chose to go without), all down to himself.

That's great!

I'm taking DD to her 1st appointment next Monday, it's an assessment to see how to help her best (I think!)

She has a genetic condition that can cause anxiety at puberty and have managed to get an appointment at the Genentic Clinic on Thursday. They probably can't help but I want it in her notes.

Good luck I'll be thinking of you all .

Ernest, didn't know you were having so much worry with ds1. I think alot could be the moveas you said he was so happy back in Switzerland and then all the changes.

Well done for sorting the appointments out, I'm going to get the ball rolling for dd soon and I'm so worried about explaining everything in another language.

Did you enjoy your trip to UK?

Hi ad,

To answer your Q from other thread, I phoned kinderarzt and started asking for appt, she did the usual what for etc, and I was struggling to explain, so she started listing symptoms, Bauchweh...? Fieber...? etc,, so i just said no, not physical, he was very very sad and I was worried and I thought it was now at the point he needed help, and she gave me an appt for in 2 hours time. He was off school that day, so no prob for us.

He has 1st psychotherapy appt this pm (gulp) and we have a family beratung appt for next week. Very impressed with everyone so far & the speed of service. Sounds like your jobsworth was a bit of a cow SOrry you're having probs also w. dd? Wanna mail me?

Hope your appointment is helpful today, ernest

xx

My DD was at the hospital yesterday, she has a medical condition that causes tumours. I knew the genetics people wanted to see her to check if her problems were being caused by a brain tumour but couldn't face up to it. Thankfully they think she is in the clear, so hopefully her therapy can help her.

I'm thinking of you and your DS. I hope it goes well.

hi, just brief updeate. Appt was ok - was basically ds talking for most of time explaining stuff, answering Q, v. little input from me. Next week would be totally different as just ds & THE MAN. Spoilt slightly by him imo answering my finaly Q quite abruptly & rudely (I hadn't said anything, but ds in car, asked, was it just me mummy or was he really rude to you?' so not just my imagination.

That has put a neg. point in my mind but dh just dismissed it, so guess am also trying to. Other problem is it's at 5 till 5.50 on Friday night, in centre of town, so dark and rush hour traffic, and not sure what to do with other 3 dc. I asked how long the therapy generally lasted . 10 weeks, 15 weeks etc and he said maybe 60!!!! OMG. I know ds got problems, but seriously going to struggle with the logisitcal side. The rude answer to my Q ( I asked btw if he had any tips for helping ds's insomnia and he really snapped about therapy needing time, no instant answers blah blah but really rudely. Wasn't asking for instant answer, just tip eg glass of warm milk before bed.

Anyway, we'll see.

Oh, and adding to logistical problems, ds has said he doesn't want to go alone, so unsure how to deal with it/him.

ErnestTheBavarian, Hi I just wanted to add my best wishes to you and your family esp your ds. I struggled for nearly five years with a teenage daughter with mental health problems and it can be a very lonely place to be. Dd is stable now and life is more in balance for her. The future looks much brighter than it has for a long time. The hardest thing for me was accepting that I couldn't actually make things better for her (and my goodness I tried everything).

I have nothing to add to the good advice you've been given. If (given time) ds doesn't gel with the psychologist look for a new one. In my experience the relationship between the psychologist and the client is fundamental to the outcomes.

Best wishes to you and others on this thread struggling with similar situations.

Oh Ernest mixed feelings then? My DD had said before that she wouldn't speak if I wasn't there and was assured it was up to her. We're going tomorrow morning. My stomach is in knots, I'll keep you informed. We were told it should be a short burst of therapy, are you paying for yours?

I don't know what you think about 'alternative' types of medicine but cranial oestopathy can help children with insomnia. this website has helped us a lot, especially the personal mixer.

This is my Christmas name by the way

DD had her assessment today, the team have a meeting on Thursday to decide what, and who, is the best way to treat. I asked what she'll be getting but they were a bit tight lipped. I did get "probably a bit CBTish" only because I asked if that's what she'll get. They did say that they thought it would be 5 weeks because it is more or less a specific thing that upsets her.

How did your dd feel about it?

I don't know whether this will help at all, but just to say that when I was a child, I developed an overwhelming fear of death. I could not sleep alone, I could not bear thinking about it. I cannot explain how overwhelming the fear was and the worst of it is, there is nothing anyone can do to rationalise it - there will come a point when you and those you love will be no more.

The fear became so bad that I used to envy those that were already dead as they did not have to go through the fear and the pain anymore - it had already happened to them.

I wanted to die. It was no reflection on how happy I was otherwise in my life, it was just an inability to continue dealing with the all consuming fear.

I don't know if this might be where your son is coming from. Actually the only thing that helped in the end was to talk openly with my grandmother about death and she explained that your views to it change as you age and you cease to fear it as much.

We still haven't heard from the Centre regarding treatment, DD has has an awful couple of days. We are going to see a CBT therapist privately on Thursday.