my beautiful, clever, fintastic 10 year old keeps talking about suicide. Am heartbroken.

[ErnestTheBavarian]

How the f do I handle it when a just turneed 10 year old talks repestedly about suicide.

See your GP, straight away.

I'm sorry Ernest.

cathcat's right, btw.

Have no idea how you handle it, but feel so sorry for you. Is she already having treatment, or is this a new thing?

fuck I am in pieces. We just had a parent's evening. Even the frosty arsed head teacher was saying how wonderful he is, he is so clever and good looking and kind and gentle and fun to be with. Everyone constantly completemts us on how lovely he is, and he really is. It breaks my hearts. How, at such a young age, living with 2 parents and 3 siblngs who love him so much, how can he feel so bad that he even feels sad, never ind suicide. My God, the pain and fear is overwhelming.
he is 10 ffs

My God, how frightening for you. Has something happened to trigger this?

GP definetly

also he could phone childline - they are experienced with suicidal children

well, the fact he has mentioned it over and over again for over a year makes me really worry it's serous. The trigger has been his nanny's death - my mil. She was really wonderful and she has left an un-fillably huge gap in our lives. Then he started worrying I and his daddy would die, then he started being frightened he would die, now it seems to have moved on to being frightened he will die or indeed is better iff if he dies.

I can't say how terrified I feel now tonight.

We are not in UK so all these forms of help seem so far out of my reach. No child line. Have so many concerns with other dc, feel so freaked out and overwhelmed now with the needs of my boys

My DS4 (he is 12) talked about taking his own life at school in June this year. I was so gobsmacked and sad. Two of my four sons have died - one with heart problems as a baby and one little lad who was knocked down by a lorry and killed when he was almost 8.

We are a very open family and discuss stuff like this. My much loved DS4 is very, very clever but he is socially very shy and he is (like me) overweight Some boys in his year have been calling him 'fat, gay boy' and it had really, really got to him.

He now has a mentor at school who he enjoys talking to. He only mentioned it once and school rang me. I felt a total failure as a Mum. We are both 'getting there' wherever the hell 'there' is.

Please go and see your GP - that is so very sad. Massive hugs and love to you and your DS xxxxxx

Just found this - hope it helps

He sounds very sensitive and these thoughts are overwhelming him, yes? I'm sure he can be refer to the child mental health teams (I think they are called CALMS or CAHMS) and talk this over with someone trained to deal with these anxieties. I'm sorry this is happening to you all.

sorry just seen you are not in UK. I'm sure you can be referred to specialists through a doctor though.

Oh poor baby - his Nan dying is the trigger. Poor, poor lad. I can remember my Grandad dying when I was 14 and I thought the World would end that night. I noticed that you can email childline.

Sorry I said she earlier - stupid assumption.

How long ago did his nanny die? Is this the first time he's really come across death? My DS was coming up 5 when my aunt and uncle (a married couple) died quite suddenly within 3 months of one another. He wasn't particularly close to them but had happened to spent a lot of time with them not long before their deaths.

The reason I mention this is that the process he went through sounds similar to your son - worried that we would die, then saying he was frightened about dying himself. He never got as far as saying he wanted to die, but he really obsessed about it for several months, to the point that we were quite worried about him. Then he seemed to just grow out of it. He's 7 now, and only mentions death in a very matter-of-fact way.

So sorry for you, and hope you can get professional help with this x

I have no other advice than to reiterate the above about seeing GP or similar.

As you are abroad would your son benefit from emailing childline perhaps?

mil died 2 years ago. It seems to very slowly, gradually e getting worse. he has had so much upheaval since then to deal with. I hoped in the last few months the dust had started to settle. And tonight we had a brilliant parents evening. We praised him and his brother we were so delighted. So him coming up 2 hours after bedtime, clearly after being crying for a long time, feel heart brken and very scared.

Im not suprised you feel the way you do. Have a look at the Childline link I put on. It looks really good - and also says you can email them. You could email them as the parent - I once rang them when my DS1 was grieving for his brothers and in a dark awful place. Sending my love and thoughts to all of you xx

Childline also have online chat service for under 18s

Oh Ernest this is so sad.

I have to go to bed - will check on here in the morning. Take care xxxx

Does this site help?

PAPYRUS

I'd just like to say that it is great that he feels he can talk to you, i think that you have the first 'step' there

Thanks littleducks, I appreciate that. You're right, I should at least be grateful he has come to me with his worries. He worries so much, h apologises constantls. He is devastated if he gets a C not an A. He puts so much pressure on himself,

With any family meet he is so down that his nanny is not there. So very often he worries I will die or even the cat will die, so I think he thinks it will be easier if he dies.