I have my appointment with the psychiatrist on Friday

[WigWamBam]

And I'm terrified and just need to off-load.

My GP has referred me because he says he can't change my medication (I'm on 40mg Citalopram)without referral to a psychiatrist, but from what he tells me now, the psychiatrist won't really want to see me because they're not really interested in straightforward depression. They are only seeing me because they have to (new guidelines on one particular medication) and not because they feel that they can help me. That's made me feel really wonderful about wasting the psychiatrist's time just for a change of meds that the GP isn't able to do.

I was hoping for a good, positive session with the psych but with my GP saying this, I can't see it happening now. To add insult to injury, dh was going to be coming with me for a bit of moral support, but he forgot and has now arranged a business trip for Friday.

I was feeling really positive about this, as I've been waiting for a couple of months for this appointment, but now I feel I'm just going round in circles. If the psychiatrist isn't going to want to help me, who will?

I feel as if I'm just going round in circles

[hub2dee]

I'm sure if you find the right person you would be able to talk to them.

And after a while you could tell them that they don't need to talk slowly, only loudly.



Yeah, the meds are scary.

But it's not as scary as count-the-pills is it ?

That's really scary.

Yes, you've had no problems with the pills you're on, but you're still not where you want to be - 'headwise' yet are you ? Maybe these new pills might enable you to get to a better place ?

I hope so. Although I know that on a hot day like today hiding under a nice damp stone sounds like fun !



BTW - forgot to post a big LOL @ Abit Titmuss comment.

[WigWamBam]

No, it's not as scary as count-the-pills. That was scary, you're right. I'm doing better than that now, at least, but again you're right that my head still isn't in the right place (it must be soooo satisfying to be right all the time ... ).

I just don't do very well in social/talking situations. I also tend to gloss over things and pretend that everything's fine because it's easier than owning up to the truth, which isn't a good thing sometimes. I can do it here because I can think about what I'm saying, and I can't see you looking at me and thinking I'm a weirdo.

[Evesmama]

you just said how i think honey...your not alone

[Sax]

i am keeping up with your thread WWB but I've not had the best weekend (to put it mildly). Good God girl, we sound alike - all the anxieties, self doubt, self conscious, not good talking (OK writing Iykwim) and even down to partially deaf (i'm getting a hearing aid soon!!!!). I can only empathise and say I hear LOL everything you are saying and just say you are not alone! I've tried to stay a little quiet on this thread cos of my own feelings this weekend but I felt having read your last couple of posts that I must just say I do empathise!

[hub2dee]

WWB - the way I see it is if YOU were READING someone else's posts on MN, I am only posting what YOU would be suggesting.

I've seen you offer support and advice to others.

You're sensible. It's just it's easier to see it in others than in ourselves. That's all.

Perhaps you've skimmed through some of my chats with huggy, but I'd say the same to you... there's no point skimming and glossing over, and hiding and de-emphasising stuff that isn't right / went wrong / could have been different in the past. So often, looking that stuff in the eye, talking about it, maybe dealing with it or sorting it out will have incredible benefits in the 'present' that we all live in IYSWIM.

BTW - I don't look at you and see weirdo. I look at you and think 'person who loves plants' and 'gives great punctuation' (as well as all the dozens of little snippets of WWB I've formed in my head from all our chats).

So, Toadie, keep your head up, push forward with those darn testing appointments, and stay hopeful for good results from the new meds.

[WigWamBam]

Oh, I know. It's easy when it's someone else; it's just hard to see the wood for the trees when it's your own head that needs sorting out.

"looking that stuff in the eye, talking about it, maybe dealing with it or sorting it out" is easier said than done though. Many times I've thought I've worked through things from the "past" (it's a foreign country; they do things differently there) only to find, like I did on Friday, that I haven't and they're just waiting there to bite me on the nose. How many times do you have to face up to this stuff before it's not frightening any more?

I'm flattered that I give "great punctuation". It's good to know I can get at least something right

[hub2dee]

Shouldn't there be a full stop after the last word, or does an emoticon have both winky / smiley and sentence termination characteristics ?



Yes, it is easier said than done, but I get the impression you've never been through stuff with a counsellor / psychotherapist - only with yourself, your family / friends or dh (sorry if I'm talking pants).

Re: how many times ? No idea. As many as it takes ? 22 ? Once with a 'big click' ?



I'm off to bed. Night.

[WigWamBam]

Nitpicker . See, that just looks silly.

No, never with a counsellor, just me and dh, but I still thought that it was dead and buried.

[HappyHuggy]

Hello

Just checking you're ok

[WigWamBam]

I am now ... after the mad panic to get dd to A&E to have a pea removed from her nose.

She obviously gets her sane and sensible nature from me

[hub2dee]

More like this.

That looks OK.

Sorry, but had to big LOL @ dd and the pea.

[WigWamBam]

But when you use a full stop it's the end of the sentence, so then the smiley is in the wrong place

I can assure you that dd and the pea wasn't funny at the time; especially as it was the second time she'd done it and had been warned the first time that it wasn't the most sensible thing to do. You have all this joy to come ...

[Sax]

WWB, I'm sure the pea thing was pretty hairy at the time but you two are making me laugh with your punctuation discussion - I am trying to keep up with you WWB because you are being given some sound advice from various sources!

[hub2dee]

What about Spanish style ?

Yes, I am sure life is about to become very... erm.... 'interesting'

[WigWamBam]

Yes, I know, Sax, and I appreciate it greatly. I haven't emailed you yet because you're obviously having a hard time at the moment and don't need me adding to that, but I will do so at some point.

[WigWamBam]

Just keep her away from peas until she's, oooh, about 34, Hub

[HappyHuggy]

hello

You seem a bit brighter today?

[Sax]

WigWamBam - I'm Ok and sorry to offer you the chance to email and then have a complete meltdown myself. However - the offer is there, feel free anytime, I am so much better being objective to others and tbh I'm on the positive attitude front from now on and hopefully I can make it last. It helps me forget my stresses if I hear others anyway becasue I am so much better being there for others than asking for help. Not very good at that. I see your point that you don't want to, and thats entirely up to you, but I would welcome you to and I'm not so down that I couldn't chat to you and give you a sounding board. Feel free at anytime! (sorry Hub, my punctuation and spelling is shit)

[hub2dee]

Rather good for a sax player.



No wonder mum and dad only started letting me eat peas last year, eh.

[WigWamBam]

Clarinet players have the best punctuation, obviously

It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to you, Sax, just thought you probably didn't need me adding to your burdens at the moment! I'll talk soon, though.

[Sax]

Whenever WWB, I understand you have to feel comfortable to anyway the offer will still stand if and when. No worries.

[Sax]

How's life today WigWamBam?

[HappyHuggy]

Hello

How are you today?

[WigWamBam]

I feel crap. I've been joking on other threads tonight, and all the while all I want to do is curl up in the corner and cry. The blackness is descending again, I can feel the clouds gathering and I hate the way it makes me feel. I feel useless and worthless, my poor dd is stuck with this crap, useless mother and I hate it. And now I sound self-pitying and whinging as well.

[Sax]

WWb, I'm here, do you want ot talk?