Anyone around to help calm me down? Or just chat?

[twoisplenty]

I am shaking rather badly, since 11pm. Now it's 2.30pm. I am so scared. I have to face scary stuff with the counsellor tomorrow.

Just feeling very un-brave.

Hi there... I'll be around for a while.
Can I help?

Oh thank you. Just nice to talk at a silly time of day. It's the early hours that are the worst.

I am tired, but wide awake. Does that make any sense?

I have had a good night out, but since back, the shakes haven taken over. Not sure how to get by tomorrow, with the children all day, then the counsellor at 5.30pm.

Just taken a tablet (from the gp) to calm me down. Hope they work fast.

Are you ok?

Hi, thanks for replying to my post. Just read your other thread about seeing the counsellor tomorrow. I've had counselling myself before for anxiety issues so totally understand you not being able to sleep the night before.

Speaking to the counsellor about it will help, even if its tough going for a while.

Sorry I'm not much help, can't think straight with tiredness!

I'm in the Pacific Time Zone, it's only 6:45 pm here.
I also just replied to iwould's post, looks like we're the only ones up right now.

Is the counselor helping you?

The counsellor is really lovely, and yes, she is definitely helping. Well, except she has set me off on destructive behaviour, but i'm sure it's temporary whilst I am working through it. Not pleasant, and I am wondering where I shall get the strength from tomorrow with the children.

I have decided to ring a friend in the morning, see if she can visit in the afternoon to pass the time and have some company.

Is your ear easing, iwouldgoouttonight?

The pain is still there but MN is taking my mind of it a bit, thank you.

Good idea for you to have some company tomorrow and help with the children.

Good. I had horrible PND and anxiety after DS's birth. There were days when I couldn't bear to be alone. I was always so grateful for girlfriends who came and spent time with me and didn't expect me to be stellar company.

I'm multitasking - making a curry for dinner at the same time as talking to you.

By "destructive behaviour", you mean...? Very bad things or less-bad like overeating?

Not eating at all (used to have anorexia). Revisiting those painful times, I am afraid. Scared my children will notice I'm not joining them for meals.

I only started getting bad 2 days ago, so I'm sure it's temporary.

I used to have body image issues and issues with food. Very stressful times still make my stomach close up so I can't eat.

What makes the fear lessen for you?

I have calmed down a bit. Tablet is working I think, as well as the company. Thank you Jacksmama and iwouldgoouttonight.

I shall try and get some sleep. Thanks again.

Glad you're feeling a bit calmer - hope you manage to get some sleep.

Ok. I'll be around for a while if you can't sleep.
Night night.
(((HUG))) for tomorrow.

hope you're asleep now twoisplenty but I can offer some hopeful info if you like - sometimes when we are working through stuff, for it to work the best, we sort of go backwards through our experiences until we reach the point where we were whole and healthy. I always used to describe it like peeling the layers off an onion: when you are born, you are like the tiny germinal centre in the middle of an onion - all your experiences after that create a new layer of the onion, so the only way to get back successfully is to peel each layer away.
This can have the unfortunate effect of revisiting the symptoms of the experience (as you are finding) but it is like the ghost of the experience - it doesn't have the same impact and usually fades after a few days.

Good luck with your counsellor and I hope my onion theory has helped a bit!

Well get back to it would you??
I should stop MNing get back to cooking curry.

Thanks. Well I didn't sleep much, just 20 minutes here and there. But I feel a bit calmer now I am up and about. Things always feel worse in the night.

Thanks for the onion theory. It does make sense in that I was thinking this was a temporary nasty throwback to years ago. It's a shock to be in this position, but counselling I think brings the worst out in you, before you can clear the rubbish away, and find a healthy person inside.

I am ready to hear what my counsellor says, because I can't face going on like this.

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. If I have the time difference right you'll be going to your appointment at 9:30 am my time - will be thinking of you and mentally holding your hand.
You can do it.

(((HUG)))

Oh, Jacksmama, it all went wrong...

The counsellor cancelled this afternoon. She offered an appointment next week, but I explained that I feel anxious and ill, so she promised to meet within the next 48 hours.

I was really upset about it, but I have calmed down now. Fortunately my friend was with me today, and she helped me a lot.

Thanks for the messages. I shall let you know how I get on, on my other thread "I am frightened to talk to my counsellor about this" (or something like that!) on the mental health pages.

Oh crumbs!!! for you - what a rollercoaster. Now you've got to get all worked up for whenever your next appointment is. Gah.
I'll pop over to your other thread.