Depression support thread!!!

[spookycharlotte121]

Just thought this might be useful as there seem to be lots of people who have depression on here. We could check in with oneanother and help each other through the bad days.

not sure if this has been done before but I thought it might be helpful.

Hi everyone just wanted to say am going on holiday for a couple of weeks tomorrow, long booked and i don't want to deprive DS of his hols so am reluctantly still going. Things are not great with DH at the moment but we shall see if we can build some bridges and have a chilled time, and who knows by the time I get back may be starting to feel the AD benefits. I too dropped in to my local women's centre today on the advice of my doctor, as their waiting lists are shorter than for the CPN.

Will check back in when I get home and in the meantime hope you all keep chatting and supporting each other.

Have a good holiday LateShift, if you see this.

How is everyone today?

Took 10mg citalopram yesterday, will take another 10mg today before going up to 20mg.
Felt slightly nauseous and a bit spaced out at work. And the clenched jaw and yawning.

Hello everyone, can I join you? I have very long term depression and anxiety which has just spiraled out of control since having dd 17mo ago.

I had an assesment for CBT yesterday and have been accepted for treatment but as I was leaving they said the wait list was a year. I was pinning so much on it and I feel the bottom has dropped out of my world. I really don't know how to carry on.

Despite hating them and having had a really bad time on them before I think I am going to go to the GP today to ask for AD's. I am so scared I hate taking any pills, but I can't carry on like this for the sake os my dp and the dcs.

I have cried so much I can hardly see, I just feel so shit.

Where the Wild - sorry you are feeling so terrible this morning. Hopefully you will feel slightly better as the day goes on, that is often the way.

Try and see if you can get to the GP today. I can understand your reluctance to take tablets, but if they help you cope its worth it.

Hang in there. You can get your life back.

WhereTWTW, it is really disappointing to have to wait so long for CBT.
Hope you're feeling better - as LightShines says mornings can be the worst time.

Let us know how you get on at the GP.

Thanks both for your concern. Am thinking this thread might be a very good idea, I have always avoided things like this as I kind of use mn as a place where I can pretend to be something I am not, ie normal, happy etc, but it's really nice to see that there are others in the same boat.

I saw the GP, she is very nice and very sympathetic, but was hugely unwilling to prescribe the ADs, she says she is very anti them anyway and even more so as I am still breasfeeding, even though dd is 17mo and only has 1 or 2 feeds a day, she says she may still experience side effects, plus I have read through them all and I suffer from health anxiety and I know I'm going to feel incredibly panicky if I take them.

FouxDFF they are citalopram, which you are a few others on here seem to be taking how are you getting on with them?

Sorry this is so rambling I just don't know what to do, to take or not to take? I feel stuck between a roack and a hard place, I can't carry on like this, but I feel quite scared of taking the drugs which apears to be my only option.

Nice as your GP was, being sympathetic is not going to help you get better! If she was unwilling to prescribe anti-depressants, what other suggestions did she have to help you get beyond living day-to-day in a miserable and distressed state?

Has she actually given you a prescription, though?

Sorry, didn't make that very clear, she did give me a prescription, for citalopram, and I have the tablets.

I am just worried about actually taking them, because of the side effects, both for me and my dd.

I tried to talk to my mum about it as she has suffered from depression in the past, but she just got cross and said she would be furious if I took the tablets and risked 'poisioning' her gd. She says I am being selfish.

WTWTW - I am exclusively BF my 10 week old and am on Sertraline and my DS does not show any signs of suffering as a result. I think it is better for my DC if I am not irritable, weepy, etc so I don't think it is selfish to take ADs, and it's sad that your mum said that to you.

WTWTW - I breastfed 3 children, to a year, 16 months and 2 years, while on Sertraline (and some of that time was on an inpatient dose, though I wasn't in hospital).

Your mother is being ridiculous, and tbh she doesn't have to know if you are taking anything, you don't have to tell her.

Citalopram is one of the "gentler" anti-d's and will not harm you or your baby at all. Your mother's emotive language about "poison" etc suggests she is more of a problem than a help!!

Hope you can get the help you need. As I said, my kids had the anti-ds in breastmilk, but were fine, are not 5, 7 and 9 and brilliant children!

Can someone advise me please?
I have been on Mirtazipine for 8 days now, and the side effects seem to have just got worse each day.

I feel like a total zombie most of the time, totally drugged and sedated- worse as each day passes.I can't concentrate or focus on anything, can hardly string a sentence togeteher. I feel completely dis-associated from life. Yet, despite this I feel no less depressed, if anythinhg worse because I feel as if I have absolutely no control over anything at the momen, which i n itself is depressing. Luckily, I have the chance to stay with a close friend for a few days, (while my son's dad looks after my son) not ideal for loads of reasons but I got to the point yesterday when I felt I couldn't cope on my own anymore. Today while i was out with my friend (she suggested we go for a a walk) I had a panic attack, felt scared/ frightened/ almost suicidal and had an overwhelming desire to be taken to a hospital where i might feel safer. She got me back home, and I had a lie down/sleep and now I feel much calmer and very sad rather than depressed/desperate.I also feel less sedated at this point in time. It seems there is some correllation between when I get a huge rush of the drug sweeping over me pysiaclly when I feel totally zonked-out & the feeling of feer/panic I had earlier today.

What should I do? Carry on with the Mirz or stop? Anyone else had a similar experience.
Anyone else had experience of this?

I had a similar experience with citalopram, but the fear/panic came on the second day, and was so extreme I stopped taking them after that.
I felt instantly much better in all ways after stopping, because I felt "in control" again as if I could function. Being that I am a control freak, I hate that "out of control feeling".
Is it possible ADs don't agree with me?
I am on waiting list for counselling/psychotherapy, but need help now.

Don't know what to do!

What to do?

Can someone advise me please?
I have been on Mirtazipine for 8 days now, and the side effects seem to have just got worse each day.

I feel like a total zombie most of the time, totally drugged and sedated- worse as each day passes.I can't concentrate or focus on anything, can hardly string a sentence togeteher. I feel completely dis-associated from life. Yet, despite this I feel no less depressed, if anythinhg worse because I feel as if I have absolutely no control over anything at the momen, which i n itself is depressing. Luckily, I have the chance to stay with a close friend for a few days, (while my son's dad looks after my son) not ideal for loads of reasons but I got to the point yesterday when I felt I couldn't cope on my own anymore. Today while i was out with my friend (she suggested we go for a a walk) I had a panic attack, felt scared/ frightened/ almost suicidal and had an overwhelming desire to be taken to a hospital where i might feel safer. She got me back home, and I had a lie down/sleep and now I feel much calmer and very sad rather than depressed/desperate.I also feel less sedated at this point in time. It seems there is some correllation between when I get a huge rush of the drug sweeping over me pysiaclly when I feel totally zonked-out & the feeling of feer/panic I had earlier today.

What should I do? Carry on with the Mirz or stop? Anyone else had a similar experience that can shed some light.

I had a similar experience with citalopram, but the fear/panic came on the second day, and was so extreme I stopped taking them after that.
I felt instantly much better in all ways after stopping, because I felt "in control" again as if I could function. Being that I am a control freak, I hate that "out of control feeling".
Is it possible ADs don't agree with me?
I am on waiting list for counselling/psychotherapy, but need help now.

Don't know what to do!
Shall I take a night off and see how I feel tomorrow?

Can someone advise me please?
I have been on Mirtazipine for 8 days now, and the side effects seem to have just got worse each day.

I feel like a total zombie most of the time, totally drugged and sedated- worse as each day passes.I can't concentrate or focus on anything, can hardly string a sentence togeteher. I feel completely dis-associated from life. Yet, despite this I feel no less depressed, if anythinhg worse because I feel as if I have absolutely no control over anything at the momen, which i n itself is depressing. Luckily, I have the chance to stay with a close friend for a few days, (while my son's dad looks after my son) not ideal for loads of reasons but I got to the point yesterday when I felt I couldn't cope on my own anymore. Today while i was out with my friend (she suggested we go for a a walk) I had a panic attack, felt scared/ frightened/ almost suicidal and had an overwhelming desire to be taken to a hospital where i might feel safer. She got me back home, and I had a lie down/sleep and now I feel much calmer and very sad rather than depressed/desperate.I also feel less sedated at this point in time. It seems there is some correllation between when I get a huge rush of the drug sweeping over me pysiaclly when I feel totally zonked-out & the feeling of feer/panic I had earlier today.

What should I do? Carry on with the Mirz or stop? Anyone else had a similar experience that can shed some light.

I had a similar experience with citalopram, but the fear/panic came on the second day, and was so extreme I stopped taking them after that.
I felt instantly much better in all ways after stopping, because I felt "in control" again as if I could function. Being that I am a control freak, I hate that "out of control feeling".
Is it possible ADs don't agree with me?
I am on waiting list for counselling/psychotherapy, but need help now.

Don't know what to do!
Shall I take a night off and see how I feel tomorrow?

Sorry for posting 3 times.
Just shows how out of control I am!

Faigle - I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, I've no experience of your medication, but if you're really feeling so bad you probably need to go back to your GP. Maybe you just need a slighly lower dose? Or maybe SSRIs just don't agree with you...

Maybe someone else will be along who has had Mirtazapine will be able to tell you if it's worth sticking with.

WTWTW - only a couple of days into Citalopram, but doing okay so far. Been a bit groggy/spaced out at work, but not too bad.

I don't think it was very fair of your mum to say that. If it wasn't safe for your dd, then the doctor wouldn't have given them to you.

It's a difficult decision for you, I know.

Faigle - some people just don't get on with SSRIs (I know I didn't agree with several until someone tried me an Sertraline which did suit me.

faigle- i felt terrible for the first 8 days on ADs (Sertraline). I was shaking, sweating, really anxious, spaced out,....But am now 2 weeks in and feeling better than I have for a long while. Worth seeing your GP to see whether you would be best changing or carrying on with your medication.

Ok, I have a few words of hope! I am now on my 3rd month of Citalipram and the side effects have gone. I still feel numb, but lets face it, numb is better than what I was feeling! But I have noticed something else.

I can't cry.

I know I shouldn't be complaining about that,but I just don't find anything sad anymore. I don't find anything at all emotional. But like I said, if the choice is between feeling numb or walking out on my family, then I would rather feel numb. But rest assured, in my experience, the horrid side effects DO go. No more horrific nightmares!

hi, hope everyone is doing ok.

I have had a few good days. Have been out of the house which seems to really help with my moods. I find when Im good im sky high and when im bad im rock bottom.... kindof from one extreem to another. Im hoping that maybe these few good days will carry on.... that maybe Im getting control back of my life.

Exercise has helped too.

I still suffer from bad tiredness and awful nightmares though.

Im on citalopram.... the side effects lasted 2 months for me and i didnt feel they worked untill about 4 months in however this is apparently not very common.

Im glad I started this thread. I dont feel so abnormal know im not alone. Were all in this together and we can get through it.

WTWTA- Dont listen to your mum. give the ad's a chance. like others have said they wont harm your baby.

Crikey - took 20mg instead of 10mg today -
I'm shaking like a leaf! Dinner might need to be something that doesn't involve chopping

Morning all.

Faigle that sounds horrible and tbh is one of the reasons I am so scared of taking the ads inthe first place.

Thanks for the advice from those who have taken ads and bf. It is comforting but this morning the pills are still untouched in a drawer, I had a horrible evening, but feel a bit calmer today. I really want to get through this without drugs, just not sure if I can.

FouxDFF Hope the shaking improves, but the image of you chopping did make me .

SpookyCharlotte thanks for starting this, if we all keep up with it I think it might be helpful, really nice to know you are not alone.

Hi everybody

I don't know if it would help anybody to know there is a good medical research website called 'what the doctors don't tell you', it isn't as controversial as it sounds it just has on there details of info on various conditions and other strategies for coping.

I didn't check out depression on there as I get on quite well with lofepramine so am not worried like that. However it could be worth checking it especially if people are worried about taking their citalopram.

It is called wddty.com and may be well worth checking out.

Good luck to anyone who researches, let us know how you get on!

I didn't take my AD last night, and today though still a bit "sedated/out of it" I don't feel quite as bad as yesterday.
I went out for a while and felt strange/a bit panicky at times- but nothing compared to yesterdays's episode.

I phoned my GP who suggested I have a rest from them until Monday and see how I feel by then when we can review the situation.

My gut feeling is that ADs don't suit me- but there's that part of me that thinks if I can just get through this terrible start it might lead to feeling much better.

Problem is my depression is caused by a series of very stressful events that have taken place over the last few years, and no ADs can take those away....what I really need is the strength of mind and motivation to work through all that has happened and try to accept what can't be changed and change what can.At the moment just getting up is a struggle, let alone dealing with major emotional upheavals.

Any one tried St John's Wort?

Morning all.

FouxDFF How are you feeling now on the higher dose,are the side effects any better today?

Faigle glad to hear you had a slightly better day, I've never tried St John's Wort, but I tink some people rate it very highly, I would talk it over with you gp though.

I feel awful this morning, so panicky, I just don't know what to do with myself, have that horrible urge to just run away, though I know it's from myself and I know it's not possible.

Maing it much worse it that it's ds's birthday this weekend and I have a party and a day out to get through, I just don't know how I am going to manage it, plus I just feel so sad that it's going to be a struggle and not a celebration, I feel like I am missing them growing up and I hate it.