its all too much to cope with.

[spookycharlotte121]

Have had enough...... cant deal with life anymore. Im too tired. Typed out a massive thing explaing exactly how i feel but it got deleted.

Im feel so useless and pathetic at the moment and I hate myself.

Oh spookycharlotte I'm sorry i don't know your history. Have you felt like this for a long time? Do you have very young children, could you be suffering from PND? Sorry, these are such clumsy questions I just didn't want you to go unanswered. Is there a RL friend you could call? Take care.

If you don't have anyone in RL to talk to maybe you could ring the Samaritans. Their number is 08457 90 90 90. Their website is here

Im on citalopram. dd is 1 on monday and ds will be 2 the following week. they have both taken all theur clothes off and are running round nkid and i dont have the energy to sort it. Everyone in rl are busy..... think everyone is fed up of me.

you need a soft place to fall at the moment, someone who can protect you and comfort you until you are strong enough again. There is no shame in this.
Call Sane or the samaritans or a protective maternal figure,auntie, neighbour or friend, we all need this sometimes and now you do. You are not pathetic and i gaurentee that everyone who writes here has hated thwemselves at some point.

my mum has been really good to me but she is away and i dot want to call her. it will only stress and worry her that she isnt close enough to do anything to help. dont really have anyone else. well no one that really cares about the whole depression..... spose my mum has been through it too so she understands.

Spooky, don't worry about sorting the nakedness out - let them run around like that for a bit and you have a cup of tea.

I know it sometimes feels like no-one cares, or that no-one is there for you, but that's part of the depression.
I agree about the Samaritans - sometimes it's very refreshing and stress-relieving to have a cry down the phone to someone that you never have to answer to or see.

I have to agree nakedness is good - my two are often naked infact - they currently are.

Are you receing any help other than the AD's?

I suffered massivly after my two (15 month gap), so understand. You may need to lower your expectations of yourself and also ask for some help.

Maybe homestart - I have a volenteer and she is wonderful, also ask your GP about talking theraphys.

dd is dressed now. she is quite perceptive.... when ever i feel low she always gets clinngy and does silly things like sucking my toes to try and make me smile. no help other than the ad's. iasked for counciling but nothing ever came of it.

feel a bit ashamed about getting in touch with homestart.... feel like i should be able to cope. I have the 2 most wonderful and amazing children and I feel like im such a let down to them.

Your GP could probably put you in touch with counsellors who have less of a waiting list. Mine gave me a list of 3 or 4 where the payment was on a sliding scale and voluntary- starting from about 5 pounds a session I think. They could fit me inthe same week, rather than having to wait the 6 weeks on the NHS

I have been meaning to call the gp for weeks but along with getting an eye test done and fixing the car its still on my to do list...... theres so much going on atm and i feel like im about to crack up.

just wish i was normal and happy.

Than make it at the top of the to do list
Everything else can wait. It really is so important to look after yourself when it's just you with the dc

lol thing is other things cant wait. Im doing a show garden at the NEC and its taken over my life. It will all be over with next weekend and I cant wait. It was fun to take part in but has driven me mad. Instead of spending the day with dd on her 1st birthday on monday im going to be stuck in birmigham on a building site...... whoop whoop!
I spose it would only take a phone call.... will try and do it on my lunch break on monday.

Homestart are there for people like you and me. I swallowed my pride and rang. It gives me two hours where I can bake, play, iron or whatever. I can do things with just one whist our wonderful lady looks after the other one.

Oh spookycharlotte I know how it feels when you feel you just have too much to deak with and cnat face any of it.I just want to back up with what some of the others have said. Make ringing your gp a priority. YOU are worth it, you deserve to be well, and you must look after yourself. Right now you are not well, and you need to speak to your GP to discuss the best way for you to get better! Let all your standards slip. If your Dc are naked so what? It is summer, they will be warm so no harm. If they have days when they stay in their PJs all day if you're not going out then so what? If they are happy and fed then that is all that matters. Dont be afraid to let them watch dvds or tv if that helps. Take up ANY and ALL offers of help.
And just want to agree with themadhouse about homestart. I rang them up a couple of weeks agao in the middle of a really bad week. I am not the sort of person to normally ask for help from anyone, and felt like you about homestart - but I swallowed my pride and rang ( had heard good things about them from tmh) and it was sush a good move! I actually broke down in tears on the phine, and the co-ordinator came round straight way to see me - she was lovely. I now have a wonderful volunteer who comes for a couple of hours once a week, who DD4(aged 3)and ds2 (15 months) love and its so helpful having someone else there . Please think about ringing them - that is what theyre there for.
Look after yourself, and keep posting here...even if just to get it out.

blimey ...obviously having one of my "cant type at all" moments...sorry about that but you get the idea!

We've met on other threads Charlotte.

I cannot recommend HomeStart highly enough. They are fabulous, please call them x x

Whereabouts are you, Spooky? Wouldn't it be great if one of us was near you?

SC, i have no words of wisdom but wanted to tell you that you're not the only one who is feeling like this at the moment x

Im in bristol.

Have had a really shit few days.

It was dd's first birtday yesterday and instead of getting to spend the day with her and ds I went up to the NEC to work on the show garden only to be told by one of the people on my uni course that I havent been pulling my weight and that I should have been spending more time up there. I have literally made myself ill with what I have done for that stupid fucking garden and missed my daughters birthday in the process but it still wasnt enough. Had a little party this evening for her tonight and my sister and niece came over. I had made her a castle cake..... it looked shite but tasted quite nice.

just not coping very well at the moment. Missing exp..... want to get away from life and start a fresh. yesterday was so bad that the whole way back from the NEC i just kept thinking about crashing the car..... the only thing that stopped me was worrying that if i survived i would have a bashed up car.

Im going to try and go to the doctors tomorrow and might even go to the opticians as my eyes are rediculously bad. hopefully getting out of the house might help too.

i will take a look at sure start and try and pluck up the courage to call them..... just another thing to feel a failure about.

sorry for constantly moaning but I the only person who really understands in rl is my mum and she has been so good to me recently.... I dont feel like i can possibly put anymore pressure on her.