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Original poster

a drug addict has just moved in with me help...

167 replies

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 18:28

a VERY regular but have namechanged.

A relative has moved in (300 miles away from his friends and influences) and is attempting to withdraw from heroine, following the NHS 3 year programme in 10 days.

We've had the violence (towards things, not me) and the shouting, but now we are onto severe stomach cramps, talking nonsense and asking every 5 minutes what the time is. Next dose of meth due at midnight.

I have dragged him to a sympathetic phamacist who has sold him some pills to relax his stomach, but obviously can't give him anything else without a prescription.

Can anyone offer any suggestions of anything else either I or he can do to help?

OP posts:
flightoftheeasterbunyip · 17/04/2009 19:35

Yes Frankly which is why I am concerned

These people are telling you things that might not be correct

Although they mean well

Hope you mean you have had lots of support, rather than useful information. Had I known you wished for support I'd have given it. But only in the sense I already have, really, which is that I think you should give it up for your good and his.

Again though I'm no expert.

lou33 · 17/04/2009 19:36

faq, struggling but hanging in there so far, thank goodness

thanks for asking

FAQinglovely · 17/04/2009 19:37

that's good

(and for what it's worth when Lou's friend was going through the initial stages I had goosebumps for her too)

Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 19:42

Thanks noddy, but I think his use of this and other substances has made him crazy paranoid and he wouldn't trust anyone else. Councelling isn't really 'our thing' in our family. We're far to awkward and difficult and would end up rowing with any councellor.

We are all better and going into ourselves to deal with problems although I'm not saying that is a good thing.

He has plans, and he has removed himself from his friends, network and his usual routine. This isn't the whole thing I know but I do believe it is a massive step for him.

He's out atm, investigating a local gym!? At least I hope that's what he is doing. He wants to keep walking apparently, but finds it difficult to cross roads because stepping off the pavement causes the cramps, but nevertheless he thinks walking is good and tbh it is a relief not to have to listen to the nonsense and obsessive wierdness.

If the info on those sites is correct he is going into the worst of it right now, so we have about 24 hours of hell and things might improve.

OP posts:
Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 19:47

flight - I've had support yes, I've had information and pointers to websites. I am aware that I cannot take the information given here as professional advice, but I wouldn't have even thought of 'Frank' myself.

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LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 17/04/2009 19:47

he is going cold turkey off heroin but is out investigating a local gym

and using illegal methadone

with no medical supervision, support or input

you could have a dead body on your hands

this is frightening

noddyholder · 17/04/2009 19:50

My brother did it that way.Went to another country and left his old life behiond but he;s not happy but is drug free

noddyholder · 17/04/2009 19:50

Funny enough my brother jopined a gym too!

pottycock · 17/04/2009 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 19:52

I didn't say I wasn't frightened, just trying to make the best of what I can.

If it helps anyone feel better, he's been through this before and got himself clean for two years this exact same way. I guess that's why he thinks he can do it.

OP posts:
pottycock · 17/04/2009 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 17/04/2009 19:55

but he got clean and relapsed, so surely that would indicate he needs more help and support>

i thikn what you are doing is motivated by the right thing, but i would not be prepared to help soemone to withdraw from heroin on illegal methadone, with no medical support

ilovemydogandMrObama · 17/04/2009 20:12

Sounds like he's at the anxious/agitated stage.

My mom (a GP) has supervised heroin withdrawals, but think the ones she oversaw were over several weeks. Seem to remember her telling me there is a point where they hit absolute rock bottom, and once that stage is over, the road to recovery is easier. It's like going from a false high to a false low and then crawling back.

You sound as if you have the road map, so perhaps finding out where he's at would be useful for you?

Obviously gradual would be better, but some people can't do this.

But if he does turn really nasty, and some heroin addicts can flip suddenly, then please don't feel as if you're a failure for getting help.

Of course as an addictive personality, he will need to replace heroin addiction for another. In the scheme of things, a gym addition is hardly detrimental

Hope it goes well....

Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 20:18

I think the problem lulu is that he has to choose the support. Either hcps or being able to drive and the new life he is hoping that will bring him. He can't have both.

I agree that now isn't necessarily the best time for him to be out alone though. Will see if I can find him.

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Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 20:29

He's back, complaining of stomache pains and buzzing head, taken tablets the pharmacist gave him for IBS and gone to bed (although doesn't expect to sleep).

He says if his cramps get any worse he's going to a&e, otherwise he reckons his goal is 3pm tomorrow.

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Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 20:40

sorry forgot to thank dozymare

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LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 17/04/2009 20:48

good luck to both of you

Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 20:58

thank you. I'll try to make sure I post an update when/if we get through this

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solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 17/04/2009 21:03

I wish you luck and TBH when I was younger and childfree I can sort of see myself having at least considered doing what you are doing (had it been necessary, have never had a friend with heroin addiction at least not to my knowledge). But you are taking a hell of a risk on both your own behalf and his. The illegal methadone is what worries me the most because it could be anything - and if he dies because of it, or from other complications of the withdrawal you will face criminal charges.

Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 17/04/2009 21:16

thanks solid, the methadone is only illegal because you can't buy it. it is from a good source apparently (i know i know - whatever THAT means), and it was obtained legally, just not for him.

i'm happy with what we are doing, but i can't easily see an alternative that would help him. The ONLY thing i appear to be doing except for worry and listen to his odd chatter, is give him a bed. I cant see chucking him out improving things, or calling the police or ambulance, especially as hes come so far.

i read the suff on 'enabling', and i guess i am in poening my house, but he really is doing it himself so far. he's been going on and on about his life being shit because of his addiction. he's like a broken record and very determined.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 17/04/2009 21:51

The buzzing head is normal they usually stop their thoughts with heroin without it the brain goes the otherway and is overactive often rambling nonsense but it does get better.Good luck you are very generous I don't think I could cope with it again x

Original poster
FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 18/04/2009 14:21

Last night was horrible, about 2 lots of 30mins sleep for both of us, but it seems to have paid off.

He is very rough atm, but more coherent and can even face a shower now.

OP posts:
pottycock · 18/04/2009 14:23

Hang in there and take care.

flightoftheeasterbunyip · 18/04/2009 15:34

I really hope this guy is aware of how much he is asking of you. I'm struggling to think of anything he could do to repay your efforts...seems an awfully big ask.

Take care.

QuantitativeMeasure · 18/04/2009 15:49

How many days has he been like this?

He has probably 'reached' the worse tbh.

Willow- Withdrawal from Alcohol is deadly- far worse than withdrawal from any other substance.

Hope he is ok- my brother was a heroin addict for many years and finally managed to get clean with help from a great CARAT worker in prison.
Its realy admirable tht you are willing to help him. Heroin addiction is a fucking miserable existence.