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Mental health

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Original poster

How did you find the courage to go to the doctor for help?

20 replies

Disenchantegg3 · 09/04/2009 19:36

I've needed to for years but can't.

Its gotten to a very, very bad point.

I would never hurt myself because of my babies but if itn weren't for them I don't know where I would be.

Trouble is there are SO many things wrong with me, I could easily list 12 now without stopping, that where do you begin?

OP posts:

ConnorTraceptive · 09/04/2009 19:55

Well, the first time round I was at the DR's every five minutes for all sorts of minor ailments. In the end she said to me "Connor I don't think this is a physical problem is it?"

Cue tears and a long chat which basically led to me getting the help I needed.

This time round I avoided seeing the dr for a while an then made an appointment and was honest from the start.

Taking a written list might be a good start.

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 09/04/2009 19:57

Thanks CT, I would probably need a long list though.

I'm worried because my husband is on a high dose of ADS and goes for counselling, would they be concerned about the DCs because we may both end up on them?

The kids are fine BTW, I do TRY to keep it together for them.

OP posts:

Dumbledoresgirl · 09/04/2009 20:04

I don't know. I reached a point of desperation - twice - which led to me seeking help. Unfortunately though, I got nowhere, but maybe I didn't push enough.

I would recommend writing down a list of things you feel are important or you want help with. It may clarify what you want to prioritise so you can mention the main things first. Many of the things in your list are probably related to each other. You may or may not see that but the GP probably will.

Then you need to make an appointment, perhaps when you are feeling relatively strong, and make yourself go when the time comes.

Take the list if you feel you need it as a prompt.

Don't worry about your children here. Just because your dh is in counselling and on ADs and you might need the same treatment too in no way means you are incapable parents. The ADs are supposed to make your life cope-able with, not render you incapable of looking after children.

Would it help to talk about any of your issues here?

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 09/04/2009 20:08

Thanks DG,

I don't know, I seem to off load alot here. This place is part of the problem, Ive been her almost 5 years and don't have anything to show for it, that might sound daft but its the only line to other adults I have and in the whole 5 years Ive never made a 'friend' here or in real life, I have my husband and my mum (and maybe my sisters to a littler extent), thats it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 09/04/2009 20:09

And posting here, 80% of the time makes me feel worse.

OP posts:

Dumbledoresgirl · 09/04/2009 20:12

Well we are sisters together then as I have been here 5 years too - just over in my case I think. Have you name changed at all? Might I have known you by another name once?

Do you want to make friends here? Is that a source of disappointment to you? It seems to me that some people enjoy coming here for the anonimity and don't really want to make friends with people here, while still being perfectly friendly iyswim.

Claire2009 · 09/04/2009 20:13

Would you be comfortable with writing it down, everything you feel you need to say, then going to see the doctor and talk about it as much as you can and if you break down hand him the list?

I went when I knew I wasnt 'right' mentally, I had pnd and went to the doctors and spoke a little, maybe 2 mins then broke down...I explained my feelings while crying but she was v v good and understood everything.

That was part of my depression, inability to cope.

I have posted on parenting forums (this is the 2nd I use) for 3yrs or so now and I have nothing to show for it, who does? They are for support/to chat to other Parents ...

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 09/04/2009 20:14

I was Kitty_lette for years.

I would like to have RL friends, but it makes me even more sad that I can't even manage to make 'pretend' friends either.

OP posts:

Claire2009 · 09/04/2009 20:17

How old are your LO's?

BuckBuckMcFate · 09/04/2009 20:19

I realised I needed help when I posted on here that I was feeling low but I was worried about seeking help in case my DC were taken away from me (I wasn't a danger to them, just the way my mind was working at the time)

I had some lovely responses and then someone said that it was the saddest thing they had ever read on here and it really gave me the kick up the arse I needed to go to the Drs.

I was prescribed AD's, (which I no longer take) and I haven't looked back since.

I took a break from MN (Very Hard!) and concentrated on my RL for a while. I have since made 2 really good friends though playgroup, the AD's helped me show the real me to people and I just clicked with these 2 friends.

Do you feel like you are shouldering a lot/protecting your DH because of his own problems and not looking after your own?

Dumbledoresgirl · 09/04/2009 20:19

Yes of course I know your former name.

I am not the best person to advise about making friends as I find it hard to do it myself. I have made a couple of friends from MN but the friendships developed off board rather than here.

I don't want to jump the gun here, but as you posted in mental health I presume you think you might be depressed maybe? That can seriously affect your ability to make friends. Maybe the visit to the GP would indirectly help you in other areas of your life too?

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 09/04/2009 20:24

DG, I know Im depressed.

I think Ive been depressed on and off for at least 3 years.

This is the worst it has been.

I am becoming people-phobic.

I won't leave the house after dark, not even with DH.

I'm scared of strangers.

I have no confidence.

I hate my apperance.

Thats just a few things, the others are actually worse

I Want to get a job.

I want to work at my local surestart centre but Im scared to ask. I would love it there.

I honestly think that would help me so much.

Its a familiar place so I would be 'ok' there, I don't think I could work anywhere else thoguh.

OP posts:

OlaMamas · 09/04/2009 20:25

Just spotted your post Disenchant and just wanted to say I took the plunge this evening after knowing I was not right for probably the last 3 years. Made an appointment last week (earliest I could get in) have nearly cancelled umpteen times didn't think I'd get there but I did. Not sure how coherant I was as tried to open my mouth and just cried but the result was I've come away with citalopram. Feel slightly better for having done it as have thought about nothing else since making the appointment. Dr told me just admitting you know you need help and asking for it is the first step on the road to recovery. You know yourself if you need help and a number of mn's gave me the courage to go through with it. Good luck

FlyMeToDunoon · 09/04/2009 21:33

Oh Dis I am so sorry you are feeling this way.
I was looking through the Mental health bit, hoping to have the courage to start a thread.

I feel similar to you.

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 10/04/2009 20:21

Hi dunoon

Sorry you feel like me, its shit huh?

I'm trying to sort myself out a bit before going to GP, trying to shorten my list a little

OP posts:

FlyMeToDunoon · 10/04/2009 20:33

Hi.
Thing is I feel a bit better today-have more energy and oppressive thought are further away but have no idea why or what made it so bad for the last 2 weeks.
I know these feelings are always there and I should deal with them but it's only when I get really down that I consider it.
Hope you find a way to feel better.

RaspberryBlower · 10/04/2009 20:39

Disenchanted - you seem really overwhelmed by everything.

Everything you have described are symptoms of your depression and it'll be most likely to get better if you go and ask for help and treatment.

Some GP's are more helpful than others - mine has been really helpful.

I think you should try to think of one thing you would like to achieve and then the small steps you need to take to reach that goal.

One thing at a time.

For instance, you want to work at Surestart and you know this will help you. So, could you phone them and ask them to send you anything they have about volunteering with them? This isn't committing yourself to anything and volunteering could be a way in to paid work if you did decide to do it.

flightattendant19 · 10/04/2009 20:39

I had to because I couldn't keep going to work, had to get a sick note so had to admit it

Maybe write a list of everythning and hand it over

GP is likely to do a test on you anyway, PHQ-9 it's called, scores your depression out of 20 something and they will go from there. They see it all the time, don't worry.

Original poster

Disenchantegg3 · 10/04/2009 20:40

Thats really odd because i feel really rather good today too.

Maybe cause ive been out shopping today??

I duno, makes me feel like i was over reacting last night ... but i know ill feel the same way again soon.

OP posts:

flightattendant19 · 10/04/2009 20:42

It does come and go, it's Ok

That's normal

Glad you're feeling Ok-er today x

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