Dental phobia - I HAVE to go, and am getting anxious already

[naswm]

I wont bore you with the history, but I am dental phobic. I have never maintained my dental treatment, that is, I go for years without visiting, then do go and often dont complete the necessary work.

Well today I lost part of a back filling, which was a root canal from last summer.

I know I have to go. It doenst hurt, at the moment, but I know I need to make an appointment. (I had two long appointments in the diary for January which I cancelled because I couldnt do it).

I dont know why I am writing this really. I dont want sympathy. I dont feel sorry for myself. But I am just so scared about going. I have never taken my DSs to the dentist, for which I am deeply ashamed, and I need to overcome this huge hurdle for their sake, if not my own.

oh god naswm - I was about to start a similar post.

My teeth are a bloody mess. I don't go for years on end and then also have treatment started and don't finish it.

I've probably got the shittest teeth on MN, they're awful. I have teeth where fillings have fallen out and then the teeth broken (not all of that my fault - some down to a dodgy dentist who I saw as sa teenager - I later discovered he was struck off as his "qualifications" were fake......), I have teeth which have been removed and then I should have gone back to get the roots removed and haven't.

Also have 2 wisdom teeth coming through at the moment they are causing me agony - one of them I know needs sorting as a few years back I had an x-ray done and the dentist said because of the size of my mouth, and the angle the tooth was sitting at it was going to cause me problems - well now it is.

But I just can't bring myself to make that appointment. I'm ashamed of the state of my teeth and the last time I went she cleaned my teeth properly with that horrible thing and it was agony (again my own fault for not looking after them properly) but she was awful and said "well if you looked after them properly it wouldn't hurt so much now". I'd rather suffer the toothache and pain and discomfort than go.

Just the thought of sitting in that chair makes me feel sick.

Thankfully DH is willing to take the DS's to the dentist (and has) so I know their teeth are ok - but mine - well they're awful.

Also should have had a brace fitted in my late teens but after plucking up the courage to go to numerous appointment where I was told "need to wait for that last adult tooth to come through" I bottled out and they're all uneven and I have 4 "vampire" teeth .

Me too I haven't been the dentist for ..............19 years I know I need to sort myself out because I will have to take dd soon

Its having metal in my mouth I can't stand the thought of - makes me teeth go on edge just thinking about it ........

OMG I could have written your post FAQ.

I hate my teeth, hate my fear of the dentist, and refuse to smile showing teeth!

I have got an appointment booked for easter hols - its a family appointment, so they will do DH, the girls and then me once DH has taken the kids out - no way will i let them see me so scared.

I clamp my mouth shut so many times. I went for the first time last year in years, and I ended up having a tooth removed under sedation because I was too terrified to have it done properly. I went through with it, but have refused to go back for the fillings i need.

Im starting to get issues again with the teeth that need fillings, so dreading the next appointment.... arghhhh why are they such horrible places! I would rather pop neurofen for a week to get rid of the pain than make an emergancy appointment!

I know I should make an appointment - but makes it worse that the wisdom tooth that the dentist predicted would give me problems is coming thorugh in such a small space and at such an angle opening my mouth wide hurts - I just wish they could knock me out to take out the wisdom teeth (which I'm sure at least one of which will need removing - it's at a horrible angle - pushing into the other already weak/shit teeth - and rubbing against the inside of my jaw when I eat ) and while I'm knocked out sort out all the other cr*p in one go........but I know that won't happen so I just don't go

and even more stupid is that really "now" is the time I should take the chance to get it done - being on IS means my dental treatment is free...........I know that the amount of work I need done is going to be out of my budget once I'm working again so sort of feel I'm throwing away my only chance to be able to smile properly and like what I see in the mirror

Thats really the only reason i have started going again, because its free.

I really couldnt afford to pay to have it sorted, and could think of a lot of other stuff to spend the £20 check up / £50 filling charges on.

Just do it! Noone likes going to the dentist - just went myself today to be told some ancient fillings need a bit of maintenance. Not looking forward to it, but will have it done because better to have some preventative work than wait until I'm in agony. I don't know how old you are, but I know the roots (forgive the pun) of my fear lie in the 1970s unanaesthetised dentistry I remember as a child. It's not like that today - that's why you should definitely try to avoid letting your phobia pass on to your little boy.

Lillian - we're not talking about "not liking" it - we're talking about feeling sick just at the thought of going. The fear that makes you pop painkillers for a few days until the pain wears off rather than go and get it sorted, the issue of having broken teeth with fillings that have fallen out that you leave like that because the sheer thought of going scares you - there are lots of things I don't like , but I put up with, there are 2 things I am phobic of - dentists and wasps.

Both produce reactions in me like nothing else.

Thankfully my DS's think my wasp phobia is funny - and DH takes them to the dentist "because he lives closer" so they don't have to see me scared.

Why not ask the dentist about conscious sedation? A small mask is placed over your nose while the dentist works. You will be aware but not consciously aware and you won't feel a thing. It's like gas and air when you have a baby.

I'm in the same boat. I need to go and won't. It is a genuine phobia.

This is a helpful forum and lists dental phobic friendly dentists.
www.dentalfearcentral.org/

I'd try to find a dentist who is on the list above. Would you consider sedation? That makes a huge difference apparently as you won't really know or care what they do to you?

I'm about to take my own advice and join the forum I posted a link to.There have been several success stories.

I know that sedation, even i.v sedation, and I also have a needle phobia, is the only thing that will get me through an appointment.

non listed in Northamptonshire that I can see .

Post on the forum FAQ and ask for a reccomendation in your area from another dental phobic.

I managed to go last year. My dentist was so lovely and didn't make any mention of the lenghth of time it had been (about 9 years or so) which was a huge help. Now I just have to get on the phone and book my checkup....

But I think I'll manage it this time, due to it being ds's checkup too.

The weird thing is, I don't even have a fear of the instruments, pain, anything like that. Just a fear of being told there's something wrong with my teeth. I think it's down to my childhood dentist who would shout at you if you needed any treatment.

I haven't been flossing and so that's at the back of my mind putting me off, but I WILL phone this week.

I don't know how far Nottingham is from you but this is listed in one of the forums. Though it looks as though it's private but does have dental payment plans.
www.impressions-dental-care.co.uk/nervous.html

And someone has recommended their dentist also in Nottingham.

Mr Brian Snape, BDS

Mapperley Dental Care

431 Woodborough Road,

Mapperley

Nottingham

NG3 5FF

Tel: 0115 9605282

He's very good with nervous patients like me, and I recommend him without hesitation.

OK naswm, I am going to be quite stern here. I knew about your dental phobia, obviously, and I know it is going to be hard for you to make an appointment to get this filling looked at. I can tell you that getting a filling replaced need not involve the same amount of intrusive treatment that it took to put it there in the first place, but I can't guarantee that, and anyway, I know you find any experience at the dentist very hard.

I was going to suggest getting someone to make the appointment for you, but I suspect that would not provide you with the push to attend that it might in some others, especially as you said you cancelled some appointments in January.

So I am not sure what to say to get you into the dentist's chair but I want to say, in no uncertain terms, that I am horrified that you have never taken the dses for a check up. That is not like you at all, to be so careless with their health and well-being. If you do not take them, they may not ever see a dentist until they are 16 and by then, you may have already caused a great deal of damage to their teeth and gums. They then may need horrendous work done and may in turn become as dental phobic as you.

We always say we would not want to inflict our own insecurities on our children, so please don't inflict this one on yours. A great part of any child's dental check up is about normalising the experience of the dentist so they do not grow up scared to go. If you really cannot face taking them yourself, please arrange it so dh can take them or even a friend, and you can wait outside. Hopefully, if you take them now, there will be no damage to their teeth or gums and they will quite enjoy the experience (mine like the ride in the chair, and the younger ones like the stickers they get at the end) and you will slowly begin to realise that visits to the dentist need not be something to fear (at least, your children might). Please think about this.

Nottingham is about 70 miles away - and I don't drive - nor do I think I'd be able to afford their payment plans.

Will post on the forums later to see if anyone knows of a more local one

Oh and sorry to all you dental phobics out there. I did not read the whole thread before posting. I did not mean that all of you should "just go" and get it over with. I do understand all about phobias being ruled by one myself. And I know all about naswm's phobia, even the reasons behind it which has nothing very much to do with the pain so I am not sure sedation would help, although I know naswm has had similar help to get her through earlier appointments.

I was purely speaking to naswm and thinking of the health of her dses.

Hope you can find someone nearer FAQ.

I used to feel the same, I have always avoided the dentist. Then at christmas, when the dentist was on holiday, I got an abcess on my wisdom tooth. it was my own fault, I knew I needed to do something about that tooth, most of it had broken off, but I just buried my head in the sand.

It was the worst pain of my life, far worse than childbirth, seriously. When I finally got to the dentist, she said she'd have to take it out. I was terrified. I closed my eyes while she injected the local anaesthetic, it was uncomfortable, but only lasted 15 seconds (I was counting). We chatted for a few minutes, then I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and visualised myself on a sunny mountainside in tuscany. I was aware of a bit of rooting around, no pain whatsoever. 30 seconds later, she said "all done". I couldn't believe it was out. Since then I've been back for fillings ( I had never had a filling, it was so much easier than I thought)

I need to go to an oral surgeon to have 2 more wisdom teeth removed, my dentist has recommended one who she says is very gentle and careful. I asked about having it done under general, but she says it's better to be awake, that I could have a valium before if I feel I need one.

What I would recommend is asking everyone you know what their dentist is like, until you find a kind understanding dentist, and tell them exactly how you feel, about how stressed, sick, etc the thought of the treatment makes you feel. An experienced dentist will be used to dealing with anxious patients, and will help you through it all.

Overcoming my fear of the dentist has really empowered me, I feel much better about myself, that I was able to deal with the experience.

And going to the dentist is no-where near as bad as an abcess on your tooth

My phobia is so bad I even found it difficult to click on this thread

Yep that was me. i went FIFTEEN years without going after trauma and because of massive phobia.

Then... i had my front tooth knocked out (well worse than that but wont give you the details).

i HAD to go... and i had to keep going.

now, and i cannot believe it, all i have to do is lay down in the chair and hang on to my ring (special from my dad) and i can get through it.

its not nice but i can do it, i dont have nightmares/anxieties anymore about it.

i seriously think you need to go, go again, and keep going.

tell your dentist too that you are really scared, mine was so amazingly sympathetic (and he seemed very matter of fact before i talked to him about it) that it made such a difference.

before i sorted this out i used have terrible dreams about my teeth falling out, used to put up with pain, sharp bits in my mouth, the taste of rotting teeth...

I know abscesses are awful - had a tooth removed a few years ago because of one. It was bloody awful, the whole thing before and during after (had dry socket).

Even hearing drills etc on the TV or radio make me feel sick.