Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Dental phobia - I HAVE to go, and am getting anxious already

63 replies

naswm · 30/03/2009 17:59

I wont bore you with the history, but I am dental phobic. I have never maintained my dental treatment, that is, I go for years without visiting, then do go and often dont complete the necessary work.

Well today I lost part of a back filling, which was a root canal from last summer.

I know I have to go. It doenst hurt, at the moment, but I know I need to make an appointment. (I had two long appointments in the diary for January which I cancelled because I couldnt do it).

I dont know why I am writing this really. I dont want sympathy. I dont feel sorry for myself. But I am just so scared about going. I have never taken my DSs to the dentist, for which I am deeply ashamed, and I need to overcome this huge hurdle for their sake, if not my own.

OP posts:

Buda · 01/04/2009 06:04

Oh God naswm. You poor thing. What a bastard. Well done for having the courage to admit it on here. That can't have been easy.

Original poster

naswm · 02/04/2009 10:48

Thansk Buda, I am regretting coming back to MN now. I seem to have bared my soul a bit too much here this week and am now feeling very vulnerable and more alone than ever. I nfact I just want to curl up and cry somewhere, except I dont know how to cry

OP posts:

Buda · 02/04/2009 13:59

Oh bless. I hadn't seen you around for a while but I do remember you from some time ago.

You know what it's like here - people often just post without thinking. And quite often people just really do not have experience of situations like yours and just don't know what to say. Most people are very well meaning and do care. It is a difficult scenario really. Because you are 'anonymous' you bare your soul and mostly people respond well but also because you and they are anonymous things sometimes come across wrong or people are harsh.

You sound like you need a big hug.

Have you ever cried about any of it?

Original poster

naswm · 02/04/2009 15:40

Thans for the hug Buda. I have not been upset by anyone on here, I am only feeling vulnerable because of the things I have said.

No, I dont cry. Although I did once ((allegedly) cry on the phone to DG, but I have no recollection of it I am so repressed that I do not recognise feelings becaseu they have spent all my life being upressed.

I am having a very unproductive day today. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I so wish I could. I know it has to come out. Maybe if someone was horrible to me it might work.

Oh, and my tooth is 'sore' so my anxiety is buiulding

Sorry for going on. Just realsied this is the wrong thread, sorryu

OP posts:

Buda · 02/04/2009 16:19

Hi there. Glad you haven't been upset by anyone on here.

I can understand why you feel vulnerable but I think being so open shows your strength not vulnerability. It might not feel that way for a while though. Hiding it away sort of makes it YOUR dirty little secret but it's not. It's your abuser's dirty little secret. It's what happened to you but not in any way your fault. I think that being open about it where you can may mean that you take control back. I obv don't necessarily mean that you need to tell all and sundry (unless you want to!) but standing up tall and acknowledging that you were a victim but that now you are stronger may make you feel stronger IYSWIM.

Do movies make you cry at all? I find that if I need a good cry about something I watch a guaranteed weepie and although I start by crying about the movie I end up just have a good cry. Which is always good for us I think. Has your therapist said anything about not being able to cry?

Sorry your tooth is hurting again. That will just cause more stress I know.

Original poster

naswm · 02/04/2009 16:26

thansk for your wise words buda.

I dont even cry over movies, but I feel like I could tonight. WI wonder what I could watch. dh is out....

The not crying thing is a more or less constant in my therpay - becayse it is the crux of my repression. I just need to 'let go' but after 38 years of holding it in, my subconscious has a firm grip on it

OP posts:

Buda · 02/04/2009 16:51

I wish I was wise!

Steel Magnolias always makes me cry. I sobbed buckets over it once.

The subconcious is a powerful thing. Maybe you are not ready to let it all go just yet?

Original poster

naswm · 02/04/2009 19:32

I dont know buda, I desperately want to, but it seems what I want, and what happens are not necessarily the same thing

OP posts:

Buda · 03/04/2009 15:57

I really wish I had a magic wand or knew how to help or what to say.

Original poster

naswm · 03/04/2009 22:04

Thannks for posting Buda. Your kindness has helped me. I am going away tomorrow and am trying not to think about the dreaded tooth issue...

OP posts:

discoball · 23/05/2009 12:49

Just thought I'd tell you my story, so that maybe you could try something similar? I was a dental phobic for many years and then I got an abcess, the pain was the worst pain ever, I had a raging temperature and was almost delirious with pain. I was relieved to get to the dentist and I had so much done in the way of drilling, injections, and so on, that I think it as a case of nothing worse can now happen!! When I went back for a check-up a couple of weeks later, I phoned the receptionist beforehand and asked if I could have an extra 10 mins appt just to explain to the dentist my worries. I told him that I was ashamed of my teeth and that it was a mixture of pain/embarrassment/etc that was stopping me from going to the dentist regularly and he told me a) I've seen worse (!) and b) he would draw up a plan of action and prioritise it and I could pick and choose when to have it done and how to pay for it. Well, I've had (gradually) all my silver fillings replaced with white ones, my missing tooth replaced and now look after my teeth religiously!! I know it is expensive, but I went every 4 weeks for 2 years to get it done!! Just think - the days of dodgy dentists are long gone, there are sedation techniques available (I had it and it was great!), so go for it - you will not regret it. PS My son's teeth are great, because I was adamant that he would have a good set and not be like me!!! Good luck.

dentagram · 23/04/2021 16:09

Dental phobia is a state of irresistible fear of dental manipulations, the emergence of lasting negative emotions at any reminder of dental disease, dental office, possible interventions and more.

This phobia is not congenital, but acquired, and there are certain prerequisites for its formation. Previous experiences, especially in childhood, as well as communication with the dentist have a special influence. Procedures in such patients should be short and painless.
Source : dentagama.com/

HPFA · 23/04/2021 18:35

Just to say - of course it's a good idea to take your children and encourage them to see it's not a big deal.

BUT I did all that and while I wouldn't say my daughter (16) is phobic she still finds it hard and had quite a few problems getting through her orthodontic treatment - you could see the incredible relief on the technician's face as she removed the braces and knew she wasn't going to have to deal with her again.

I'm not sure how good she'll be about going to the dentist when she's too old to be nagged into it.

Flip

1 2 3