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Original poster

I have been urgently referred to mental health team but not sure I will make it that far.

54 replies

ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 07:23

I have eating disorder/depression/self harm problems. Also admitted to doctor that I get suicidal, but wouldn't do anything because of the children.

i don't know how long I will have to wait for help.

Mentally, I can't take much more.
Physically I can't take much more, I am making myself ill and I don't know how to stop.

OP posts:
Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 20:06

I have some very sweet friends, but they live mostly in the computer.

OP posts:
GossipMonger · 07/03/2009 20:28

do you need practical help on leaving him?

I realise you are answering in short sentences so as to not give much away.

Is your P the cause of your MH problems?

Sibh · 07/03/2009 20:44

ABitWrong - so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. If the chance to sit and talk with someone would help, you can call in to your local Samaritans branch too (you could call ahead to see if they have set times for this though most branches will offer this help all day). It might just help to bridge the gap between now and the more formal help kicking in.

Of all the things going on, what's the hardest thing to deal with at the moment? I hope you don't mind me asking, and I appreciate it might not be easy or possible to answer that here.

Take care.

Original poster
ABitWrong · 08/03/2009 07:03

I think practical action has to come later GM.

Sibh, I have been in touch with Samaritans by email. I didn't know you could actually go and see them. I might be a bit cowardly for that.

I think I have passed this latest crisis point, thank goodness. The hardest thing , I don't know, it's hard to say.
I am in a bad way physically which makes everything so much harder. The eating problems are extreme. I get very little time to myself and after an intense few days everything builds up in my head until I feel I can't cope.
I am resigned to the fact that I have at least a week to wait until I am seen. I was pinning my hopes on the start of this week but I would have heard by now. The waiting is very hard.

OP posts:
Sibh · 08/03/2009 13:54

It's good to hear that you feel the crisis has passed, but it sounds like it it still going to be very hard to get through the waiting.

When you feel bad physically, and you don't have much time for yourself it can be so hard to cope.

You know, you don't sound cowardly at all-you are using all the resources you have to get through a really difficult time, and you've taken the step of reaching out for help. That takes a great deal of courage I think.

How has the rest of today gone for you?

Original poster
ABitWrong · 09/03/2009 03:55

Yes, the waiting is hard. I am not good at waiting at the best of times.
Physically I'm not in a good way and that is worrying me.

OP posts:
SuperBunny · 09/03/2009 04:26

Oh, abitwrong, I have only just seen this.

Can't be arsed to namechange but I had a few threads like this when I was, um, struggling

I am glad the desperation has passed and I hope you are able to make it through the week without being too hard on yourself. I think getting through a crisis is a really big thing - it's not easy to do so, you should be proud of yourself.

brightongirldownunder · 09/03/2009 04:46

Hey I didn't realise you were still on this thread.
You're much tougher than you think
And you have lots of friends who care for you (even if we have never met)
Stay strong. You'll have good days and bad days, but as soon as you can get that appointment let them know exactly how you are feeling and what you are doing. Don't hold anything back.
We're all behind you.

SuperBunny · 09/03/2009 04:58

She's right you know, Abit - you are stronger than you think. And we are all here for you.

Original poster
ABitWrong · 09/03/2009 05:40

Thanks

OP posts:
Sibh · 10/03/2009 20:40

How are things going as the week goes on ABitWrong? Our support is still here when you need it ...

Is there any progress on getting formal help too?

Original poster
ABitWrong · 10/03/2009 21:03

Thank you Sibh.

I am still waiting in limbo and very up and down.

I got stuck in the car yesterday, I just sort of froze and my legs wouldn't work at all, I couldn't even open the door. After half an hour I phoned a very dear friend and asked her to talk to me for a bit, which she very sweetly did, and after a bit I was able to move. Have kept feling panicky since then though.

I think I am not very good at this waiting business

OP posts:
Sibh · 11/03/2009 01:03

That must have been frightening ABitWrong.

You had the strength to ask for help again though and it's good to know your friend was there for you.

Would you feel able to tell your GP about what happened as a way of getting through to him or her how bad things are?

Your body tried to force you to call for urgent help, in a way, so it might help to tell that to the 'official' people who can help you move forward.

Keep talking to us too.
Take care.

brightongirldownunder · 11/03/2009 04:35

You know where to find me ABW. Please let me know how you are.

SuperBunny · 11/03/2009 05:41

How scary, ABW.I am so glad you were able to call someone and that you had such a great friend to talk to you.

xxx

Sibh · 13/03/2009 10:16

Has any official help kicked in yet ABitWrong?

Original poster
ABitWrong · 13/03/2009 16:37

No

OP posts:
SibhaShillelaghUnderYourArm · 13/03/2009 17:14

Oh, that is bad news.
How are you feeling today?
We're still here listening you know, and thinking about how you're getting on.

mollyroger · 13/03/2009 17:27

ABW, I just want to echo what others have said and say (without nagging) you really should consider ADs (unless your gp has explicitly said you shouldn't for some reason...)
You are Not Well. ADs will almost certainly help you feel Better. Or at least not as in so much pain. Does that make sense?
I know you are anti tablets. But if you had a migraine and drinking herbal tea and lying down in a dark place did not work, would you not, at some point consider taking a paracetamol....?

You know I am here. I cannot carry you over this hard path. But I can walk alongside you every step of the way. xxxxx

Original poster
ABitWrong · 13/03/2009 21:13

Oh it was so bad earlier, so very bad, I thought I was going to have another weekend like last weekend.
But now I am almost high on it. I wonder if I will go hyper, I do sometimes. I feel quite whizzy.

OP posts:
SibhaShillelaghUnderYourArm · 14/03/2009 10:33

ABitWrong - is there anyone there who can help you to access help? The friend you called on the other day, perhaps? As mollyroger says, you are not well and it is putting huge pressure on you to try to manage alone.

Sorry you had such a bad start to the day.

brightongirldownunder · 14/03/2009 11:21

Please get in touch ABW. You know where I am and the inlaws have gone so I'm free to talk. You mustn't feel alone.

SuperBunny · 14/03/2009 13:10

Hoping today is a little better ABW.

I am worried about the amount of time you have waited for help. Would it be worth calling the surgery to tell them just how urgent this is?

Original poster
ABitWrong · 15/03/2009 00:59

The friend I called the other day is the best friend in the world, but she doesn't live near me

Thank you all for your concern.

I am going back to GP this week to be weighed, so shall see what happens.

OP posts:
brightongirldownunder · 15/03/2009 10:47

Thats great news about having a friend to confide in. It doesn't matter how far away she is, just good to be able to chat in RL. Does she know everything?