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Original poster

I have been urgently referred to mental health team but not sure I will make it that far.

54 replies

ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 07:23

I have eating disorder/depression/self harm problems. Also admitted to doctor that I get suicidal, but wouldn't do anything because of the children.

i don't know how long I will have to wait for help.

Mentally, I can't take much more.
Physically I can't take much more, I am making myself ill and I don't know how to stop.

OP posts:
SniffyHock · 07/03/2009 07:26

I don't know how to help you but I want you to know that someone is listening. Do you have any support? Your DH/parents/friends? I presume you are already on anti-depresseants? What are your triggers for feeling so low?

I'm sorry you are so

justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 07:27

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Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 07:29

I can't do anything NOW I have to hide this from dp and family.

i have friends on the internet

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Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 07:30

not on anti-depressants, didn't want to take them

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Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 07:42

I want to put the rest of my life on pause so I can collapse and get help.
But I have to carry on and pretend I am fine.
I am too tired.

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justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 07:45

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justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 07:45

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justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 07:46

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Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 07:51

Well I'm not going to do myself in. That is coping. But I hate it.

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justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 07:56

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Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 08:05

I don't know anything about it.

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justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 08:12

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paddingtonbore · 07/03/2009 08:13

sorry things are so bad, but well done for reaching out for help.

you can go to A&E at any time, and access psychiatric liaison service. you don't need to be already on the books, IYKWIM. From there you can been seen, have your medication reviewed, and be referred on to a Crisis Team if needed. Please do this if you feel you cannot cope.

Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 08:14

thanks

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BBBee · 07/03/2009 10:00

okay - i understand that you are trying to keep it together for your family by 'carrying on' but youhave said here yourself that you can't take much more. exactly who are you running yourself into the ground for? is it better to admit to them and some others in RL that this is going on and cause temporary dischord and chaos or let it run and run with you putting on this glorious coping front?

i think you know that this coping mechanism you have set up that protects other people is not sustainable long term and it might be best to look at it with a cold outside stare and see what would actually be best.

best wishes.

lucylue · 07/03/2009 10:04

i think ad's are good abitwrong.

electra · 07/03/2009 10:09

It's very difficult when you have a mental health problem and you are not under the care of a psychiatrist. What you really need is someone to call when you feel you can't cope. It's hell when all you want is to escape from your own head and this is a hard thing to understand for someone who hasn't experienced it.

I resisted medication but have come to feel over time that my life is easier when I use it if I need to. I'm not saying you should by the way. I think it all depends on what you uncover about the nature of your illness and what you come to understand about how it affects you.

I am sorry you are in this situation, and do understand what you are going through. I also have a problem with self harm when I am unwell and while I was floating in limbo, having been prescribed ADs by the GP I was in my worst state ever - because mental health problems are complex and require support networks for you. And because in my case ADs weren't actually appropriate for me.

Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 19:37

Thank you everybody.

I am not feeling quite so desperately bad now but still worried about how long I will have to wait.

This morning I was all ready to turn up at A&E and gibber and beg for help. But I had told dp I wouldn't be out long so I did the shopping and went home.

I find it hard to combine the reality that is my practical life with the reality of what is going on inside me.

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electra · 07/03/2009 19:41

'I find it hard to combine the reality that is my practical life with the reality of what is going on inside me.'

I really identify with this and think it's probably typical. Does your dh understand? It really helps when you have people around you who support you.

CrushWithEyeliner · 07/03/2009 19:42

It must be really hard to hide all of this from your DH

Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 19:43

Ha no I tell him nothing. He is a dp without the d.

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Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 19:44

Yes it is all quite up-screwing!

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electra · 07/03/2009 19:47

I'm sorry to hear that, ABitWrong. My husband didn't understand either which is sadly one of the reasons we are no longer together, I think. How about your family / friends?

GossipMonger · 07/03/2009 19:47

Just read this ABitWrong and wondered if your (not so D) P is the cause of your problems.

It doesnt sound right that you cannot or wont share with him what is wrong. Do you have problems in the relationship?

Can you talk about it with us or someone in RL?

Original poster
ABitWrong · 07/03/2009 20:05

Problems, yes. Am just biding my time.

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