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Mental health

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Original poster

Think I'm going to have a termination :(

66 replies

pigletpants · 13/02/2009 10:48

Found out this morning that I am pg. Dh and I got a bit carried away just the once and stupidly I assumed it would be alright and decided to go on the mini pill to avoid taking any chances again. My periods are irregular and I am still breastfeeding, so thought it would be ok.

It wasn't and I got a positive test this morning.

I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old. Am due to go back to work full time and can't afford childcare for 3.

Things were just looking up, we are saving for a deposit on a house. We're in a tiny 2 bed rented house at the moment.

I'm devastated. Please be gentle with me.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 15/02/2009 09:33

Oh how frustrating. I guess there is the chance you were pregnant when you tested but you've had an early miscarriage. Fingers crossed x

clarabell16 · 15/02/2009 10:35

Having my fingers crossed for you, two negative tests sound good. Heres hoping you dont have to make that hard decision xx

Original poster

pigletpants · 15/02/2009 21:57

If I am pregnant we have decided to have the baby. Am still very worried about how it will work out.

We won't get any tax credits and childcare will cost a fortune! We're going to try to buy a house before baby is born and I have to take 8 weeks mat leave, which will be tough.

Am also going to learn to drive...

OP posts:

mrsdisorganised · 15/02/2009 22:07

Sounds like you've made your mind up then....!
You can get through anything if you want too....
We're here as a support if you want. Good luck with everything xx

Original poster

pigletpants · 15/02/2009 22:23

Thanks for the support. The messages here really meant a lot when I was in a difficult place.

It will be hard, I don't doubt it. But we'll get through it.

OP posts:

MamaG · 17/02/2009 10:59

When will you know whether you are or not, though? Hope you're ok

Original poster

pigletpants · 18/02/2009 19:08

I definitely am. Have done three digital tests now that all say 'pregnant.' I still feel in shock, but now I have thought about it, it seems more possible.

Don't think, legally, my boss can withdraw the offer of returning fulltime cos of this, but am going to keep it to myself for a while.

OP posts:

mrsdisorganised · 18/02/2009 21:16

Hope you're ok Pigletpants. x

MamaG · 19/02/2009 10:46

Hope you're ok. Ring the CAB or ACAS to find out your rights re employment so you're sure.

Start a thread saying you are pg with unexpected third baby and just see the responses you get! I am thrilled that my third is here, as are NBG, fiofio and many others

FAQinglovely · 19/02/2009 10:50

glad to hear you're feeling more positive - as MamaG says - start a thread about being pg with an unplanned 3rd - I'll be there too

FioFio · 19/02/2009 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

swiftyknickers · 19/02/2009 15:13

I had one in january. i am fine. You need to do whats best for your family...

lou031205 · 19/02/2009 15:20

Glad to hear your DH is supporting you. Is this an appropriate time to say congratulations, now that you have decided to keep the baby? Take care of yourself.

Original poster

pigletpants · 19/02/2009 19:53

Thanks for the congratulations, Lou .

I do think this baby is meant to be now. I actually feel the moment the egg implanted, although I hoped it wasn't true. I had a pain on one side, like ovulation pain but more severe and I googled implantation pain to see if it could be that. It obviously was, wasn't it!

So even though I'm very newly pregnant and it wasn't planned, it feels as though I've known about it from the very beginning and it is what is meant to be.

I had a termination 8 years ago, when I was young and without a stable home or relationship. I bitterly regretted it and it caused me much anguish afterwards. Now my situation is so different, so I feel now that the initial shock has worn off that I can do this.

We won't get any tax credits at all when I am back full time as we will be (just) over the threshold. That sounds like a lot of money, but isn't really when you are paying three lots of childcare. But it is only for a year and then dd1 starts school anyway.

Have decided the pram, buggy board, sling combo will be useful.

Still having moments of panic as I find having two dds hard enough! Dreading telling the family, but going to keep it to ourselves for a while to let ourselves get used to the idea.

OP posts:

lou031205 · 19/02/2009 20:23

pigletpants, I didn't post on this thread before because I am firmly in the anti camp, so didn't really want to heap more anguish on your head. I am so, so glad you have been able to think and consider your options. Parenthood is so hard because it is so worth it, hey?

Original poster

pigletpants · 19/02/2009 22:06

Thanks for the support, Lou.

OP posts:

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