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Original poster

A question about long term depression

99 replies

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:29

Maybe it is just because I am feeling really low at the moment, lots going on and it getting to me a lot, but does there come a point where if ADs haven't worked to make one not feel crap, that one has to accept this is how one is and that is that?

I have been saying since I was 15 that I was depressed but only officially was dx after my first baby was born at 29.

I feel like I want to run away.

I feel like I want to go back to happier times.

I feel like I want out but also really don't.

Seeing GP on Tuesday as a regular check but feel he doesn't understand anymore.

I am sick of being like this. I am sure people are sick of reading about me. If I knew it was going to be like this forever maybe I would just have to find a way to live.

OP posts:
Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 01/02/2009 09:57

I may have missed the answer but can ADs work for a time and then stop working?

OP posts:
fizzbuzz · 01/02/2009 09:59

I believe certain a's are ore effective against treatment resistnt dpression than others.

I think the ones used are amitriptiline, clomiprimine or venlafaxin. I think you need to see a psych rather than just your gp.

My gp put me on medcation that did not suit me at all

MrsSeanBean · 01/02/2009 10:01

Sorry, don't know the answer to that one Enableme. Good point though. Maybe someone else will have had experience of this.

mysterymoniker · 01/02/2009 11:08

there was talk of 'prozac poop out' a few years ago wasn't there? don't know if it applied to all SSRIs or if it was even real, might be worth a Google

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 01/02/2009 13:11

Am just wondering if I don't get any joy with the GP on Tuesday whether I need to tell him I am going to see someone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 01/02/2009 17:00

My hamster had to be put to sleep about an hour ago. I know it isn't huge in the great scheme of things but I loved him and he was a real character. I also feel it is my fault. I let things get to me too much and feel like it is one thing after another. It was a hamster fgs but I feel so sad.

How do you learn to not sweat the small stuff or whatever the phrase is?

When my kids are ill I am great but day to day I am a rubbish mother.

OP posts:
yellowvan · 01/02/2009 17:24

The prozac stopping working thing nis because the seratonin level has topped out. Prozac works because there is too much seratonin being taken back up usually, leaving not enough in the system. Reducing dose can make them work again. The same thing happens with St Johns Wort.

The Buddist-influenced therapy is called ACT. Acceptence and commitment therapy. It is a supposed 3rd gen cbt. It is pretty much cbt, but instead of "stopping" your thoughts you are "noticing" them, and there are techniques to "diffuse" them, like repeating till they are meaningless. It sets goals in terms of living "by your own values". Idon't fancy it personally

Ditanny, I love what you said about feelings. What a great description, I'd never thought of them as communication before.

Hope everyone on here gets the peace and support they need. x

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 02/02/2009 08:36

Probably being really thick but does it meant the tablets have stopped working because I have been on them so long?

OP posts:
mileniwmffalcon · 02/02/2009 11:00

nab, following on from what ditanny said, i have a copy of a book that came highly recommended to me, called "healing through the dark emotions", the author is a psychotherapist. here's from the blurb on hte back:

"... it's the avoidance and denial of the dark emotions that results in the escalating psychological disorders of our time: depression, anxiety, addiction... she shows us how to trust the wisdom of the dark emotions to guide, heal and transform our lives and our world."

i haven't actually read it, so i can't comment on it, although at a glance it looks like pretty dense reading - which is probably why i haven't read it yet!

i'd be happy to lend it to you if you feel it might help. you should be able to cat me your address, unless namechanging messes that up. or you can email me at puppydavies at gmail dot com (i'm usually puppydavies on here).

in answer to your previous question about the doctor, if you want to make an appt with another doc at the practice you don't have to say anything to your current gp. so sorry about your hamster - it's often the small things that really knock me sideways when i'm down.

yellowvan · 02/02/2009 11:00

It's apparently called "prozac poop-out", and some drs think reducing the dose will help (because the body's regulation of seratonin, and also dopermine, needs resetting),

some will increase the dose (but then you will poop out again at the higher dose),

some will give you another med to "augment" and take with the prozac,

and some will change meds altogether, so you end up doing 6 months on each type.

I don't think anyone really knows the full effect of prozac etc on ALL the receptors in the brain, so even with the best available evidence base, there will be some trial and error.Hope your gp can help.

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 02/02/2009 11:02

I am on citalopram and he increased by dose to get me through Christmas.

OP posts:
peanutbrittle · 02/02/2009 15:41

gosh eNAB i really feel for you. I suffer with depression too an dhave done on and off ever since I can remember although only admitted it to myself about 18 mths ago. Am on citalopram too and also had them upped just before Xmas. Forgot to take them a couple of times this month and feeling a bit low today (are we twins? )

anyway - I saw someone earlier mentioned new ways to approach depression linked to buddhist thought - I'm currently spending quite a lot of time looking into buddhism (went for my first meditation session last week in fact) and it's mostly been stimulated by this book. It's been written by four experts in various fields including psychoanalysis, psychiatry and mindfullness as a way of reducing stress and I must say I have found it fairly revolutionary. The way it encourages you to think about depression is so novel (to most westerners) and "freeing" almost. My older brother suffers from bi-polar and he has been using mindful techniques for the past few years to great effect. There is a meditation CD at the back of the book and they lead you through an 8 week practice too. Some of us on the daily meditation thread are planning to do it together sometime soon.

But, as someone said earlier, is not the best thing to take on when in the throes of a depressive episode.

The technique itself is called (I think) mindfullness based cognitive therapy (MBCT) for depression and is practised in US and less so in UK. I am going to ask my GP if any chance of getting it on NHS but don't feel hugely hopeful.

big {{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 02/02/2009 16:40

Wouldn't mind a sister.

OP posts:
Original poster
eNABlemetobebetter · 02/02/2009 16:41

I read something the other day about meditation and would be interested in doing it.

OP posts:
mileniwmffalcon · 02/02/2009 17:11

there are some free guided meditations here - satipanya.org.uk which i've found incredibly useful. i've tried a few different meditation techniques and for me this is the easiest. he has a lovely voice too, i could listen to him all day there are loads of talks on there too which i like to listen to as i fall asleep (stops my brain running in circles and keeping me awake).

naswm · 04/02/2009 19:26

I had intended to come back to this thread the other day and then somethin happened and I didnt, sorry.

How are you NAB?

Have another of these - www.ursine.com.au/Images/2BearsHug.gif

nas
x

NAB09 · 08/02/2009 15:33

Feel a bit all over the place.

When I was small, something really bad happened to me and it still effects me today. Sometimes I realise I am not thinking about anything and then that pops into my head. Sometimes I make me self think and read about related things to try and water down the effect but it doesn't work. It is kind of the same over the ex. I am starting to feel with him now. He has admitted he is giving me mixed messages as his head is mixed messages but there are ways and means of doing things. We were making plans to talk then nothing. I have always been an idiot over him. Putting up with all sorts from him but never did from anyone else. I think because I have been so depressed this has been a bigger deal than it might have been.

I just feel so sad. We could have been such great mates and now I feel like a right idiot.

I have been on the tablet dose for a few days and just want to get back to some sort of calmness and get motivated as the house is a mess.

MitchyInge · 08/02/2009 17:41

you will move past this and feel so much better, be so much more in control of your own mind

the meds will hopefully get you to a place where you'll realise that you do have a choice about what you do and don't think about - things will rear their heads from time to time but you are in control of how you respond to them, how much airtime you are willing to give them

depression feeds on itself, it wants to propagate and enlarge itself by dragging your mind into the darkest places but as your meds begin to get the better of it you realise you don't have to be its passenger

NAB09 · 08/02/2009 17:58

Last week I knew it was a bad idea to email him. I knew that it wasn't fair on Dh but I still did it. What the hell is wrong with me? My DH is the best thing that has ever happened to me and yet I seem to be acting like an idiot who didn't know any better.

I guess one thing at a time.

I feel so sad as he was really supportive about some things and then he has a change of mind and just drops me.

NAB09 · 08/02/2009 17:59

So, when things come into my head that I don't want to think about, how do you get rid of them?

MitchyInge · 08/02/2009 18:03

maybe it's like embarking on a plan of healthy eating - people slip up and eat too much but the advice is always to forgive and move on, or keep an eye on the overall trend which is hopefully moving in a healthy direction rather than getting bogged down on the odd detail here and there

you're human, you need to allow yourself to be so and accept that sometimes you will do things that you will later regret - concentrate on all the things you are proud of, things you are doing that you are pleased with

try to forgive yourself and judge your actions the way you would if it was someone you cared about, you would never be so harsh

SulliedYouth · 08/02/2009 18:06

I hope you dont think this is really stupid but when I have that and cant switch it off I spell out words over and over again and it really does help. e.g T H E T H E T H E or I spell my entire address.

MitchyInge · 08/02/2009 18:28

I think you will find it easier as your depression improves, hopefully in response to the meds, you learn to say 'ok fine, that happened but it has gone - here is what remains' and choose to dwell on the positives

it's not easy but nothing that is worth having ever is, is it?

NAB09 · 08/02/2009 18:53

No.

I don't know what is worse, me checking for emails, checking and there isn't any or checking and there is.

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