A question about long term depression

[eNABlemetobebetter]

Maybe it is just because I am feeling really low at the moment, lots going on and it getting to me a lot, but does there come a point where if ADs haven't worked to make one not feel crap, that one has to accept this is how one is and that is that?

I have been saying since I was 15 that I was depressed but only officially was dx after my first baby was born at 29.

I feel like I want to run away.

I feel like I want to go back to happier times.

I feel like I want out but also really don't.

Seeing GP on Tuesday as a regular check but feel he doesn't understand anymore.

I am sick of being like this. I am sure people are sick of reading about me. If I knew it was going to be like this forever maybe I would just have to find a way to live.

sorry that took a while for me to type thread moved on a little in mean time...

Do you exersice?

I know you have heard it many times before and i dont want to sound patronising but it raelly helps.
It helps me everytime i feel low.

Good luck on tuesday

I am on citalopram. Had really bad side effects when I started (mainly awful dreams) and am permanently exhausted but they did help for a while.

I have seen different counsellors but none seemed to get what I was trying to say or could understand what I had been through.

I recently bought a book on CBT but haven't even had chance to open it yet.

Funnily enough I read something on meditation the other day and thought it might help.

Am sat here in teas. DH has gone for the kids and I just want to run away.

I'm a lazy cow not a highly active person, but when I saw the community psych team they gave me a 'prescription' for a gym. Exercise is definitely helpful but often the last thing you feel like doing when depressed.

I don't exercise but last week I went on my bike and really enjoyed it.

I want to do it more but it was always raining last week and there never seems enough time to go while the kids are in school and playschool as there's so much to do in the house.

I know DH would rather I went on my bike every day and left the housework.

I think you need to see a proper mental health professional, didn't know long term conditions like this could be managed in primary care - maybe once you are up and running with some decent treatment you could be discharged back to the GP if you want?

Sorry you are feeling like this

Have you tried a different AD, different types work for different people.

I have suffered from depression on and off for a long time, and the only thing that worked for me was a talking therapy. This was available at my GPs but was limited. In the end I paid for private therapy. It seemed a big outlay at the time, but it was worth it as it dealt with a lot of my problems and I often think back and refer to the techniques now.

Could you try a different GP (at the same practice)? You may get on better with them; if not you could always go back to the other one.

You are not alone, and I am sure will find support on here, so please do keep posting, no-one will get sick of you, well I won't anyway, as I have felt the same.

What do you mean and how do I go about it?

Thank you MRSSB

tears again

PS I understand reluctance to open up and talk about stuff, but I did; I just let rip and thought stuff it, I am paying her, I'll give her the full monty and I'm glad I did. I know how difficult it is though.

I used to sense them getting frustrated with me and once they started looking at the clock, I couldn't be bothered anymore.

Yes it is awful when they clock watch. They do need to keep to time obviously, but there are senstitive ways of managing the time element. If you sensed frustration, I'd say they were a poor counsellor! Keep trying, try others, if you feel it would help. You will eventualluy find one who 'clicks' with you. I think CBT would be worth pursuing too.

And remember, you can come on MN any time, there are loads of lovely caring people here who won't get frustrated because they have been through it.

Obviously I don't know you NAB, but it sounds to me as if you're too low at the moment to talk to a therapist/counsellor - I find that when I am at my lowest I can't communicate my feelings to anyone. Ironically you (one) might have to feel a little better to be able to open up to a counsellor/therapist and trust that the process will help you.

My feeling is that you need some different meds - if you can't talk to your GP, perhaps there is a community psychiatric team in your area that you or your DH could phone? This is what happened to me. I couldn't get to the GP so my mum rang the psych team and they came out to see me at home and made some recommendations to my GP. Worth a thought?

Definitely.

I think my Dh wants to help me but he gets annoyed when I don't take my meds. I used to have them on the side and took them as soon as I saw them. Then DS2 started coming down and eating things from the cupboard so I had to put them op high. Now they are away I forget about them and if DH doesn't get me a drink I am too busy sorting out the kids so rememeber anything for me. Now there is a post it stuck to the cupboard. I have probably missed a couple of days this month but not enough to effect me like this.

I feel like I want to go back to being a teenager again. I find life so hard.

There is a woefully long waiting list in my area (or was) to access the NHS mental health services. That was why I ended up paying for my therapy. They basically said this is what you need but we can't provide it at the moment. Awful.

I know I need to make the GP see how low I am but I don't know how too. I have told him I have felt suicidal but wouldn't do it because of the kids so sent me out with another prescription and a note to see him in a month. I normally see him every 3 months but only because he has to when on long term meds.

OP, please try a different GP. The GP you are seeing sounds very ineffective.

or ask your DH to ring your community psychiatric team (the number should be in the phone book or look at the NHS website)

I will see him again on Tuesday since the appt is made but if he can't help I will go elsewhere. Can't bear the thought of the kids hating me for not getting this sorted.

yep community mental health team definitely worth a try. i saw mine via a referral from gp.

i'm with your dh - get out on that bike. looking after yourself as a high priority, instead of putting your own wellbeing last like we're trained to do, is essential when dealing with depression ime.

your gp sounds shite. seriously see if you can change that appointment for someone else in the practice.

I just want to sleep the years away until I am better.

Feel like going for a walk but it is dark and if DH comes back with the kids and I am not here he will panic.

I just feel at going to see him and telling him yet again I have been really bad.

er ... how have you "been very bad"?

You forgot your meds twice in the last month - it's not as if you're just not bothering to take them.

You do need to make sure you take them regularly in future though!