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Mental health

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Original poster

A question about long term depression

99 replies

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:29

Maybe it is just because I am feeling really low at the moment, lots going on and it getting to me a lot, but does there come a point where if ADs haven't worked to make one not feel crap, that one has to accept this is how one is and that is that?

I have been saying since I was 15 that I was depressed but only officially was dx after my first baby was born at 29.

I feel like I want to run away.

I feel like I want to go back to happier times.

I feel like I want out but also really don't.

Seeing GP on Tuesday as a regular check but feel he doesn't understand anymore.

I am sick of being like this. I am sure people are sick of reading about me. If I knew it was going to be like this forever maybe I would just have to find a way to live.

OP posts:

Molesworth · 31/01/2009 16:33

I haven't got an answer NAB, but just want to lend my support as a fellow lifelong depressive. I don't think you do have to accept feeling awful as a way of life - if the ADs aren't working then your doctor might be able to try you on some different meds. Have you asked about counselling or psychotherapy?

I've had bouts of depression every few years since I hit puberty. Not currently on any medication for this, but I do need to see my GP about it too.

MadamDeathstare · 31/01/2009 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:35

Have been on these particular AD's for 2 1/2 years with variation in the dose when necessary.

Counselling hasn't helped me in the past. I can't say what I really want to say and I just want to be on my own.

Thanks for the support.

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 31/01/2009 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:38

The week before my period is due I used to get one day where I was really bad tempered and it took a while to realise it was linked to my period. I am due on Tuesday and last week and the week before I was just so and low all the time.

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 31/01/2009 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Molesworth · 31/01/2009 16:41

MadameDS, I too wondered if it could be linked to hormones because mine started with the onset of puberty too. Also I had a mirena coil fitted at the beginning of 2004 and then had the longest and worst bout of depression I've ever experienced, which has lifted since having the coil removed last June. If the depression is linked to some sort of hormone imbalance, perhaps it's hormone therapy we need, not anti-depressants!

naswm · 31/01/2009 16:41

{{{{{{{{NAB}}}}}}}}}}}}

There is lots I want to post, but am literally about to go and put the tea on.. I will come back to this though

Have another {{{{HUG}}}} from me

nas
x

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:41

I agree. I can't talk the chemical inbalance away but I also know I have depression because of my life experiences and I don't want to talk about those.

OP posts:

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:41

I so needed that hug naswm.

OP posts:

naswm · 31/01/2009 16:43

for NAB thesunnah.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/hug.jpg

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 16:55

Thank you.
Have sent it to DH to print off at work so I can stick it on my wall for when I feel blue.

Thank you

OP posts:

piratecat · 31/01/2009 17:04

2 1/2 yrs way too long to be on meds that aren't helping you nab, esp when you have tried different doses.

i was on seroxat for 2 yrs, and i can say I lost 2 yrs of my life, feeling depressed, and worse, yet i though that must just be 'it', that was my life.

Until another gp took my of it and put me on Prozac. That's the one that gets me thru.

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:07

I can't even remember if I have had a break in that time, not much of one if I have. The GP has said he thinks I will be on them long term but I know secretly he thinks once DS2 goes to school I will be all better (thinks I should get a job) and that I will be able to come off them.

I am worse atm than I have ever been. I can't bare the noise of the kids, being here, the house being a mess, being lonely, being me.

OP posts:

piratecat · 31/01/2009 17:10

I that gp seriously considers that's all there is to depression, i would get anew one tbh.

when i first got diagnosed when i was about 20, he just said to me 'oh, you have been to college, you are a designer, there is no reaosn for you to be depressed'

the comment your gp has said resonates.

i wil be on mine for the rest of my life, thats just how it is with my brain. It's taken me yrs to accept, but life was hell and not worth enduring when i fought against being on them.
x

Molesworth · 31/01/2009 17:13

Did your GP actually say that NAB? How do you know he 'secretly' thinks that?

Having said that, I had an unsympathetic GP four years ago and she really put me off asking for help, so if you don't feel comfortable or supported by your doctor, don't hesitate to see someone different.

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:13

I don't mind being on them for ever. I would rather not be depressed, obviously, but I have to hope that being on them is better than not being.

I might get DH to come with me.

I would feel strange seeing another GP. Would feel like I don't trust the other one.

I am bored with hearing myself feel like this, so goodness knows everyone must be bored of reading it.

OP posts:

mysterymoniker · 31/01/2009 17:13

have you had a referral to a psychiatrist?

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:14

He said ages ago about being on them until DS2 went to school and he keeps saying things will be easier when he does, so I am expecting him to want to take me off them. I am on a higher dose atm after difficulties over Xmas and I actually feel worse than when I was on the lower dose albeit then, I hadn't had the Xmas upset.

OP posts:

piratecat · 31/01/2009 17:15

but it's about you.

if the other doc is not helping you, you must change.?

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:15

I have recently had a psychiatirct report done for something else, GP has read it, and thinks it is a fair report. Then put it away.

OP posts:

Molesworth · 31/01/2009 17:15

Good idea to take DH with you to the GP and do tell him that your meds aren't helping.

Original poster

eNABlemetobebetter · 31/01/2009 17:16

Will see what happens on Tuesday but I can't go on like this. It isn't fair on my Dh and DCs.

OP posts:

mileniwmffalcon · 31/01/2009 17:19

i would look at changing your meds - if you're on an ssri (the more modern family that include things like prozac) you could try one of the older ones like a tricyclic, my standard ones are those type and they're very effective for me.

is seeing a different gp an option? or asking for a referral to a psych? what type of counseling did you try? there are different types, although not all will be available on nhs in every area. all worth trying. it sounds trite but have you tried any self help books?

are you able to look after yourself physically with changes to diet or exercise? (i realise that having the time/budget/motivation for these can be difficult).

personally i find yoga and meditation useful (although i would say more in terms of staving off depression rather than lifting it once it's set in). i've heard of a new style of therapy that takes influences from buddhist philosophy - will google it for you in a minute.

there are lots of things that are worth trying, but many of them are long term rather than short term - you need to find the right meds for that, then hopefully the rest can follow.

take care.

IdrisTheDragon · 31/01/2009 17:19

I have long term depression which has basically been there on and off since I was 17 (am 33 now). HAve had a few major depressive incidents and have been on ADs almost all of the past 4 years.

I have been cutting down since about September I think (with GPs support) and think I may be able to stop taking them one day. I had CBT in April and May/June and although only had a few sessions, they have really helped me to "reprogramme" how I react to things.

I think I will always have a tendency to depression, but can hopefully manage it.

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