I can't take it anymore

[mama2boyz]

Things are getting too much for me.
I've been on Ads since DS1 was 10mo - he is now 3.5years old and I now have another DS 14mo.

I am so exhausted
I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel
I have gone up 4 dress sizes and i feel like an ugly, disgusting mamouth
Last year I lost 2.5st on Slimming World but I stopped and it's all come back on. Would have been too expensive to carry on as what kept me going were expensive diet yogurts and SW HiFi bars.

I'm tired of breastfeeding, not sleeping, being so huge that clothes in the shops are limited, fed up of not being able to go shopping/having a coffee/browsing in a bookshop by myself.

I love my kids more than anything in the world but I feel that I am not good enough to be their mum and that they would be better off being adopted.

Is there ANYTHING I can do to compensate for being woken 4 times a night? Please tell me!

Will I ever feel like a woman again?
Will this depression ever go?

[smellen]

Hope you get some more support over the weekend. WHen you are less exhausted you may feel more positive. And when it all seems to get on top of you, tackling one small thing can make you feel like you are not drowning under it all. Take care.

[mama2boyz]

Last night, DS cried more but he only woke up
At 1am he spent about 30min crying/fussing in my arms with me rocking him/singing/telling him he'd be OK but then HE SLEPT THRU UNTIL 7am!!!

And even then he was sleeping but his brother woke him accidentally.

This has given me so much hope!

[alicecrail]

I'm so glad you had a better night, I'm sure once the sleeping is sorted everything else will fall into place x

[smellen]

Glad to hear your LO had a longer stretch. Things will get easier - you have to keep telling yourself that. Hope you have a better night tonight.

[frumpygrumpy]

Darling, how wonderful to see you smile. Don't stop posting xxx.

[mama2boyz]

Last night was even better: he slept from 11:30pm to 6am!

[frumpygrumpy]

result! And how are you feeling?

[mama2boyz]

Last night wasn't too good but then again my mood has taken a turn for the worst so I think the boys have picked up on that and are very unsettled.

I just need to get myself sorted somehow.

[frumpygrumpy]

FWIW, people always say "the baby will pick up on your stress" and I always think what a pile of shit

Children are hard work and some days you feel stronger and therefore you can take it all on the chin. Some days you can't and we mothers blame ourselves for that. IT'S NOT YOU. You are dealing with many different issues here but you are not to blame for any of it. You are trying to wade through it and find a way forward. You are brave and courageous and a strong, loving mother for that.

[smellen]

How's it going? It is hard to be positive when you're not getting good stretches of sleep, so keep looking back at the encouragement you have on this thread - and good luck!