What are your experiences?....need some advise

[reflection]

Ok. My sister in law has battled for years with depression. She has successfully managed it and lived a happy life for the last few years. In that time she has got married and she and her husband wanted to start a family. So, she came off her medication and they tried for a baby. She is now pregnant. Nine weeks. At this moment in time she is feeling very low and exhausted. She is tearful and lacking in motivation. Is this ok? A book she is reading says that at 12-14 weeks her mood should improve. She is worried that the depression is returning. Is this the case? Is there any one out there that has concieved under similar circumstances? I wish I could help her more. I don't know what to say to help her feel better. I am worried. Please give me your comments...

IME it's normal to feel low and exhausted, especially in the first trimester. I have a history of depression too, and suffered horrible ante-natal depression with my first pregnancy, but was fine with my second, and I didn't suffer PND with either of them! Your SIL's worries are understandable - she would probably benefit from sharing her concerns with other mums (put her onto mumsnet perhaps?)

This is really hard for her. It does sound fairly normal for first-trimester but she is probably terrified that everything will come back. What kind of care is she getting? Because I had a history of mental illness I asked for special monitoring and received EXCELLENT doctor and midwife care during my pregnancy and afterwards. I felt really supported and felt that I had medical professionals waiting in the wings if I decided I needed medication or treatment. As it happened, I came through the pregnancy and birth fine, but I'm sure that the care I received made a big difference.

I know this isn't what you are asking, but I'd try to encourage her to talk to her midwife or doctor about it and perhaps arrange regular care (my doctor asked me to see him every 6 weeks).

This is the conversation that I had with her today. I have given her this site address and tried to tell her that she is not alone. I am going to see her later and I will tell her about you spacedonkey. Morning paper I have also suggested that she go back to her doctor to get some reasurrence that this is all normal and I also thought that it would be a good idea for someone from the outside to monitor her..? I did suggest a diary but as her moticvation is low she feels that she may not keep it up. Maybe her husband could do it as a log of her moods so that they can recognise the good days...if only depression could be fixed. Her brother my DH is just getting through a severe bout of depression. So I am trying to get as much advise as possible. Thank you for your reply I want to be able to tell her that it is going to be ok...one day at a time.

Hi - like the other posters, I agree that the first trimester is knackering - for me was definitely the hardest physically, and when you are probably most concerned about risk of m/c. I suppose what I wonder is whether she came off the ADs because she wanted to try for a baby, rather than because she felt 100% ready. Like everyone else, I think it is wise for your SIL to keep an eye on how she is doing, and have regular appointments with mw/doctor etc. It is possible to take ADs during PG, but probably isn't a decision that the docs would take lightly; they might be more keen on her trying out counselling and other lifestyle type measures as a first choice. It all really depends on the balance between the symptoms/effect on her quality v life v any notional risk to the baby of taking ADs whilst PG. I had a previous history of OCD/Depression and did end up needing treatment during PG - started Prozac at 30 weeks, and arranged CBT with a psychologist privately.

MTS. Her depression was being managed at the lowest drug level poss and she believed that this would be the right time. She is very worried that the meds might harm her baby.

Maybe it to early to tell if this id depression or normal feelings. But she says that these are very long weeks. Lots to tell her though. Can now give her real reassurence that she is not alone.

It's great to hear of other peoples experiences. Helps me to cope with trying to help SIL and DH. How did you find CBT. Just looking into it for DH. Wonder if when he is stable it would be a good thing to do..