I am waking out on my family in the morning and heartbroken...

[babyalfie]

I had to put it down here as cannot cope anymore at all. I am not that depressed but feel in a state.

The situation is... I ahve three children 17, 15 and 8. I broke up with the girls father when they were babies but they still have a fab relationship. The little ones dad is still around and often see him. For the past 2 years though I met a man that I thought I loved, infact I did love and he sold his house on the intention of moving intogtehr. However after about 10 months down theline my son cannot get on with his son and to be honest although I have tried I do not like the boy. H eis 10 and all he want to be is a chav, everthing he likes is different to my values and expectations so we decided to not move intogther. Well to cut a long story short I am pregnant 13 weeks and i have not told any of my family as they would hate it and i mean that as they hate the son and resent my ex. My ex however has started with athritats and is now housebaound and his sister has been to my house saying she is going to screw me for every penny and she knows about the baby... hence I am leaving in the morning. I love my kids so much but have to this. I am going to try and get a termination and find a hostel to live in. I have wrote everything out fro my sons dad as going to let him move in the family house and look after the kids. I also have a poorly daughter but know he will love them and care for them. I ahve wrote all the number etc to contact so everything can be transfered into his name. Does anybody know if I could get the mortgage transfered or not in a short period or am I best just leaving it in my name.

Dont know posting on her to be honest but needed to get it off my had as heartbroken.

sorry am confused - why do you need an amnio?

please dont leave your kids they need their mum

babyalfie, coping with everything you have to must be hard. I am not surprised you felt like running away and think you are a brave loving woman with a lot to give. It may not be the best time for a relationship now, that doesn't mean you will never find one though and it will have a better chance when things are calmer.

babyalfie, you need to concentrate on your own little world right now and leave you ex to deal with his, I am so glad you had a positive experience with the scan. You should be so proud of coming back from the brink,you did that not mnet. keep strong.

babyalfie - you sound like such a strong person- you really are being stretched to the limit at the moment, but you are actually dealing with it very well. Don't forget that the pg hormones mean emotionally you will be all over the place too!

Re Your ex's reaction about the baby- please don't read too much into this. He has just been hospitalised, diagnosed with a serious debiliting chronic condition. He is probably trying to withdraw from you because he doesn't want you to feel responsible for him or beholden to him. His son's behaviour probably has a lot to do with the fathers illness- he is still only 10, and is probably very confused and upset at the moment, with the unknown living situation, and his father's long-term health.

Just dealing with your daughter's illness would be more than enough for most people, so please give yourself a break- you obviously care deeply about your DC, and they need you more than anyone else.
You sound like a lovely, loving mum, and I wish you the best of luck.

Hello there perhaps I should move now to another board... I am feeling a lot more posotive than yesterday and today I went to see the solicter and he said the most he could do was take me to court by which time I would have had his child and then he would have a legal responsabilty to keep that child so he basically would not get anything but I myself once working would want to give him somthing back as he is a lovely lovely man. I still love him very much but know we cannot work out as lost all trust in him. I now no longer can trust him as to what I tell him. Anyway feel much better and going to tackle all my problems as they come...

as response to why i need an anmio it is my age i am 38 and would want to make sure the baby is ok as with one poorly child I dont know I would cope with another.

Again thanks so so much for all your support. I appreciate it and cannot thank you ladies enough... I am off not to collect y eldest daughter.

oh is there an age where they recommend you have an amnio then? didn't realise that. i thought it was only if something came up on the blood tests they offered an amnio.

well it is partly my age but my mother had a child that died of a rare disorder and my brother died at 32 of cystic fibrosis so I like to be sure. I normally have a cvs but she said she can do a full dna or something along those lines etc...

Glad everything went OK today, but getting back to your daughter, it will be very difficult for you to handle your pregnancy while she is having mood swings brought on by her diabetes - are you getting any help on that front?

Hi there she sees a psychologist once a week but she has been doing this for 10 months and to be honest it is not getting any better. I have tried everything and no longer no what to do.... we went to clinic today and her blood sugars were hi on her finger pricker metre and he long term blood which reads what her blood sugars ahve been doing the past three months were unreadbale. she is clerly very unwell and will be ringing the nurses up in private in the morning as to what we can do.

Thanks

hi babyalfie - glad you sound so much more positive now and that you have been reassured about the money etc. hope the amnio goes well and the results turn out all right for you.

I hope you manage to get your daughter into some short term residential clinic because I think is might be what you need for her - I doubt she will like it much but they do keep a good watch on them and make sure they eat properly and take all their meds properly (not that you don't of course! but you have other things to do as well) - but it will certainly be better for all of you if you get some respite.

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