not realy down....just feeling very anxious

[Titania]

Don't know why. Feel all panicky...Was going to go to town with the kids today but DHs (pain in the ) aunty has decided she wants to come round but instead of ringing me directly, she asked my MIL to pass on a message that she would be coming. I have tried ringing and texting her to say that it's not convienient but I can't get hold of her and she's got no answerphone!!! I really don't need to see her today. I still feel drained from my councelling session yesterday. DS2 has got one on him...woke up in a foud mood and throwing a the bottles and food that I offer him all on the floor. The other 2 are being good though......

So why do I feel so anxious???

Titania, phone up MIL and ask her to pass on the message that you'd promised the kids a treat in town, they're all excited about it and you can't go back on your word. Leave the onus on her to get the message through - explain that you've tried your hardest.

The best thing IMHO you can possibly do is get out of the house - not to look at the same 4 walls and entertain someone to boot. Get the kids ready as soon as you can and get out of the house before she arrives - you've passed the message on to MIL so your conscience is clear

the train isn't til 11 though and she tends to turn up around 9.......

Go and look at some trains then - anything - where she won't see you. God, I hate it when people impose themselves on you without a thought that you might still have a bit of life of your own left ......

and i have already told MIL when she told me about the aunty wanting to come

Your MIL script this am:

Hi, I'm really sorry but I can't let the children down. I've just told them we won't be able to go into town and they're so upset. I really don't think that I can let them down now. I've tried getting in touch with X but can't. Do you think you could keep trying for me (I've phoned, texted) but can't get through. I'd love to see her though - get her to give me a ring tonight and we'll arrange something.

well i managed to get hold of the aunty....she said she would come another day. She was going to bring a load of the family with her!!! thanks for telling me like!!! I told her I had arranged to go into town on this day for ages and that if she wants to come another time then thats fine as ong as she rings me first....She didn't sound very happy about it as it wasn't at her convienience......feel bad about upsetting her now.

Titania - if she is silly enough to invite herself down without checking you first, she should expect it may not be convenient! Don't feel bad about cancelling - you were well within your rights. Perhaps next time she will think twice about imposing on you.

Re the feeling anxious - I wonder if it is just due to you going through counselling yesterday. I know it can be very traumatic for the first little while, and nerve wracking. You will probably have to come to terms with it over the next few days - don't worry about it, you are coping very well these days and becoming stronger - this shows just with you taking the steps to deal with your problems. Wish I could chat to you today but am at work all day. But will catch up with you tomorrow hopefully. Enjoy today without the aunt! Text me anytime today though. xxx

titania, dont feel bad, it will do you the world of good getting out for a bit and would have been a nitemare running around after kids and feeding the 5000!
get yourself out and have a nice day, like i keep telling myself..stop worrying about what other people think', they have no right to impose themselves onto you and if they dont'get' that, then do it to her one day, with grumpy kids in tow, see how she likes it

Titania, have a fab day!

thanks everyone. i dont really want to go out but at the same time I don't really want to stay in....