Cot death worries

[laura325630]

Not sure if this is in the right place? I often sit cuddling my 6 week old dd at night crying as I am so worried about cot death. Is there anything I can do to stop this as it really isnt doing me any good. It takes me about an hour to calm myself down and sleep. Thanks.

if your baby was a reasonable birthweight - you do not drink smoke or co sleep it really is NOT a big worry

please try not to dwell on this a and let it blight this special time

put the baby feet to foot on her back and the chances are really very very very slim of anything untoward happeneing

I understand your worries but if you look at the facts etc you can relax x

Poor you!

Is this your 1st baby?

I was constantly waking DS1 up to check he was still breathing, (the poor little thing!)

Do you have a monitor with a sensor that goes under the baby? They weren't around when DS1 was little, but if they were I would have got one.

If you do everything your HV advises, the risk of cot death is increadibley, increadibly small.

It's normal to be worried, but not normal to be crying every night and not settling lo down to sleep. You really should speak to HV or Gp about your worries.

I know that when my dd was born I worried about EVERYTHING. Every time the news was on something dreadful had happened. The world seemed like a such a scary place all of a sudden and I felt powerless to protect dd from it.

This is just "mummy" stuff - it gets easier over time but never goes away entirely. The risk of cot death if you follow the guidelines is soooo small. I completely understand your worries but if your fears start to affect your day to day life (as my hv put it) then you should seek reassurance.

I used to worry about this too. It is very rare, and if you follow all the guidelines about sleeping etc it's even rarer. If you have any extra worries like a family history of it, talk to your health visitor and she/he will be able to tell you about monitors etc.
Good luck.

Thanks everyone, I will speak to my hv next week x

I went through this very badly - DS is nearly 7 months and if I wake up before he does, I can't go back to sleep until I've checked his breathing.

I know this sounds a terrible way of dealing with it, but rather than worry about "what if", I almost resigned myself to the fact that it would happen, and when I put him down to bed it often felt like it was the last time I'd be doing it. It wasn't a conscious way of dealing with it, but it worked as a coping strategy, and a bizarre side effect was that every time he did wake up safe and sound I felt so happy about it.

I went through this with dd2 - I have 4 girls now but only ever went through it with her. I was put onto antidepressants as for me, it was because I had severe PND but as the others have said you might find it gets easier for you as you settle into motherhood.
Please do ask for some advice from the HV - I got to the state where I actually couldnt' sleep and sat with my hand on her chest for hours.
take care and I hope you are able to gain the reassurance you need
SS xx

Why don't you co-sleep for a while? Or 5 years in my case

I would love to co-sleep with her as dp sleeps downstairs as its too hot upstairs! I am a very heavy sleeper though and worry that I will roll onto her. I have been looking at the slumbernests you can get. Any ideas if these are worth having?

Hi.

Is this your first child. I had my first child in February (Katie) and lack of sleep resulted in PND and anxiety. Please talk to your HV.

I used to worry also. It's such a shock to suddenly be responsible for the most precious thing in your world. Speak to your HV on Monday - she will have heard this so many times she won't think anything of it, but will hopefully be able to give you some peace of mind.

i co-slept but with no husband.

just me on one side and baby on the other of a king sized bed and baby in grobag, no other blankets or pillows. no smoking or drinking as was on ADs.

i had PND and part of that is incredible anxiety over things like cot death. like you, i couldn't get to sleep.

i'd dream all this horrible stuff.

i have antenatal depression now and again, i have irrational worries about many things as part of it.

please speak to your HV or GP if you are having trouble sleeping because of your worries.

Getting a movement/sound monitor has been incredibly reassuring for me with Dd. I didn't have one with Ds and worried constantly about him, watching for his breathing, prodding him etc.

Your baby's sleeping area and your baby should not be too warm either. If your partner finds it too warm then perhaps it's too warm for baby too? They also sleep much better in cooler rooms.

I often played out morbid scenarios in my head, cot death, childhood cancer, what if I died in a car crash? etc. And it would reduce me to tears. But I think most new mothers do this, it helps us to work things out in our heads. It's rather like children having nightmares, once you've told them that you stop a dalek by throwing your coat over it's head, they can handle it!

But you shouldn't be in tears every night. A 6 week old baby is depriving you of enough sleep without this extra worry. Are you getting any rest during the day? And give your HV a ring and talk it through, that's what they're for.

You poor thing. I do the same - DD is six months old and if she is sleeping quietly I cannot help myself stroking her hand or face until she stirs.

I think it just comes with the territory of new mum, but the motion sensor should help ease your mind. The Angel one is very good.

I remember being so anxious with DS - could barely sleep some nights myself for fear of something 'awful' happening and used to get up and check numerous times - the anxiety really made the first few months very difficult. All I can suggest as others have done is talk to your HV/GP and follow all the latest advice - remember it is very very rare. I know I haven't offered anything new that others haven't said already bit just wanted you to know that you are not alone in having these fears.

I had this too, after a scary incident with my dd when she was 9 weeks (she was fine just gave me a fright and its related to a genetic condition she has) I still worry a lot and have had threads like this myself so can really sympathise. I also got a sensor monitor, against the advice of her paediatriian who said that it would ive false alarms and make me even more jumpy. It did give a couple of them when she rolled off the mat thing but it really helped me because I could look at the little light that flashes ewith every breath instead of getting up every time I woke to check her breathing which sometimes made me worse as when they are tiny its hard to see that they are breathing sometimes. Anyway, as my DD has got older I have got better but still use the monitor and still get nights where I can only think of worst case scenarios. I suppose I am only saying what others have really but do talk to your HV or someone else you trust and you may find that ptting your fears into words helps a bit anyway. I had beta blockers at one point for evenings too as my anxiety was mainly at night so I didn't want to take anything in the day.

I have the Angelcare too and even if the baby isn't directly on it it still detects even the tiniest movement/breath within the cot...If I take her out during the night to comfort her, I just stand by the cot and touch the cot within the 20 seconds(and subsequent 20 seconds)and it detects those movements(and she's not on the pad at all). I have never had a false alarm from it.
My Dd is 19 mos and I still use it for her. I Will continue to use it until she's 2 at least, it takes the anxiety out of the bed times and they aren't expensive really...I even saw another make in TKMaxx for £12 last year, which I would've bought had I not borrowed the Angelcare. I highly recommend them for peace of mind and most people at least have a sound monitor so having a monitor that does both is even better.

Hi all, thanks for your advice. Im taking dd to the doctors tomorrow about her acne so will speak to them about my fears too. I have seen a tommee tippee sensor pad for £50 in Argos so I may buy that as they sound really good. Thanks again x