I am in a dilemma

[Lonelymum]

Feeling really low today. It is hard to explain and will take some time. Will anyone bother to read it? Will anyone understand if they do?

Two facts you need to know, or might know already if you have seen previous threads started by me:

1. dh was sacked from job two weeks ago but has a new one already but we have to move for him to do it.
   
2. I am an emetophobe (have a phobia about vomiting, or, more to the point in this case, have a fear of my children vomiting.) That is the bit I don't expect many people to understand. Don't try to. Just see how it affects me....
   
   Dh has to start his job next week. It all came about very suddenly and he is only today trying to arrange the rental of a house.
   
   The problem: he wants me to stay where we are until Easter so he can settle into his job. Basically I think he is very scared he will be sacked again and we will have moved and sold our house for nothing. I, however, cannot face the idea of being on my own with the children for six weeks in case they get ill. The house he is renting will be big enough for us all, I have checked schools and there are three that have places for my children. The children don't want to move and are upset so I think it would be better for them to get the move over and done with rather than dwelling on it for six weeks.
   
   However, I haven't told their current school they are leaving and if we up and go next week, we will be leaving more than just school very abruptly. There is also cubs, beavers, swimming lessons, ballet and hospital appointments, including a operation on ds1 to be cancelled.
   
   But I can't face being on my own. All I want to do is move now rather than in six weeks time. What do you think?
   
   I don't expect you to understand how my phobia drives me. Dh lives with it and even he says I should stay for the six weeks. The worry about it has been getting me down now for days and last night I actually thought I would rather end my life than carry on this pathetic specimen of humanity, unable to cope with what is an everyday situation for parents the world over. I feel no better today.
   
   If you reply, tread softly please.

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[Lonelymum]

Aimsmum, I would say yes and yes to both your questions. I agree he is being very unfair, but I supoose a lot of people would have no idea what I am making such a fuss about.

Charlie, if your sister wants to talk to me about her condition/ fear of having children etc, she is more than welcome to via Mumsnet.

[open]

He is being unfair, Lonelymum.

Let's see, he'll be getting 6 weeks of 'him' time during the week, won't he. No helping you with childcare, no helping with the housework, and no support for you.

[Lonelymum]

PMSL Open. My dh help with the housework? Oh deary me no.

[Lonelymum]

Ha! Just occurred to me, he would ahve to cook his own meals! What a joke! Tesco would suddenly see a rise in profits from its ready made meals section!

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[Lonelymum]

He is still not happy about me moving before easter. He thinks he is going to lose his job again and we would have moved the children for nothing. Nevertheless, I told the school today that the kids were leaving without actually giving them a date as we don't have one yet. Also cancelled ds1's operation! (big decision)

The rented house isn't going to be ready in time for me to move with dh so I will probably have two weeks here on my own. Nothing I can do about that. Dh thinks if I can manage 2 weeks, I can manage 6, but I have told him I will not stay that long.

So, nothing really resolved, but nothing is clear cut anyway, even if we could resolve our differences. Thanks for asking Aimsmum.

How's you?

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[jangly]

Lonelymum - perhaps you will be best doing it in five day bites. I mean, tell yourself each Monday that its only four more days until DH is home again. Might work out more manageable like that. TBH I can see DH's point about moving the kids unnecessarily, but then, he's not going to lose this job is he? Sounds like his confidence is dented! You might find after you have successfully manged the first two weeks, that you can do the other three.

[jangly]

I mean, if really necessary.

[Lonelymum]

Yes maybe Jangly, although I will more likely feel that I don't want to tempt fate by trying!

Actually, I felt reasonably happy (about the idea of moving) until this pm when I told dd's ballet teacher she is leaving. Teacher was really sad and said she was one of her best pupils and I was to ensure she continued with ballet in Bristol (no question of that anyway as dd is ballet mad). I never realised she was so good at ballet though and feel sorry I am taking her away from the woman who taught her everything. It is so hard to let go of things sometimes. That is part of the reason why I just want to go: make a clean break of everything and look forward to the new.

[jangly]

Oh, I do hope it works out well for you. Hopefully in a couple of months you will look back on this and think "it wasn't so bad after all". Fingers crossed for you.

[Lonelymum]

Thanks.