I think I'm depressed

[Bugsandbeds]

I've had general anxiety disorder for years now and have been on sertraline for 6 years.
Recently I have lost any joy I found in anything. Work fills me with dread and fear because I feel under immense pressure (secondary school teacher), by the end of the day I feel frustrated with my children when they aren't doing anything wrong, I've lost interest in any hobbies I used to love, if I go out I just crave to be at home.

My husband is encouraging me to take time off work to focus on recovery (I've just started with a therapist) but the thought of going off sick from work is terrifying. Some of the teachers in my department never take time off and come to work 'no matter what'...they also make a big deal about that they've taken on other people's work if the absence like they are some sort of martyr.

There's things on my personal/home life which have built up over the years and it's all just got too much.

Is anyone else on here off sick from work? Has it helped?

It sounds like the medication isn’t working well for you right now. I would start with contacting the GP for a med review.
As an ex teacher there will always be those who never (need to) take time off. You need to decide what would help you.

I live with major depressive disorder and severe generalised anxiety disorder; sometimes existence is precious and fun, other times it is barely tolerable.

I currently take 150mg of Sertraline a day, having cycled through various different antidepressants over the years and finding this one, at this dosage, seems to works best for me. However I accept pharmaceuticals will never completely solve my problem. I think it may be worth speaking to your GP about reviewing your meds.

Your line, "I have lost any joy I found in anything" resonates with me. That sounds like depression. One's world devolves into ashen and deadpan despair.

I had to resign from a job I enjoyed due to my terrible mental health. Not going to work for a while didn't cure me but it did relieve my constant anxiety about having to perform daily, and it did provide me with space and time to prioritise my own wellbeing. I was able to start taking small but significant steps towards better mental health.

I would recommend you literally give yourself a break 💐